What to Expect From 50 Shades of Grey

It's 3 A.M. and I just fed my little one and laid that sweet little bundle of cuteness back in her bed. As a mother of three young children, I should be reveling in the sweet sleep that isn't offered to me that often. Instead, however, I'm here with a heavy heart.

This Friday history will be made as millions will flock to the cinemas to see the most sexually explicit R-rated film to date. Waving the banner of romance, this counterfeit love story will beat its way into the hearts and minds of women and men all over the country. It doesn't surprise me much that millions will see this movie. The Word tells us that in the last days there will be a huge moral decline. What does bother me are the scores of professed Christian women not only eager to watch this film, but who are defending it with a passion. A passion that scares me. That is why this wife and mommy is up at 3 A.M.

I can't stop anyone from reading these books or seeing the movie. I can give plenty of reasons why it should be avoided at all costs but, in the end, we all make our own choices. But let me tell you what you should expect if you do decide to stroll into the theater with your popcorn and soda.

1. Expect your marriage to be affected. Many women have defended 50 Shades by saying that their sex life with their husband has become more exciting as a result of reading this series. Tell me, at what point in your Christian walk did it become acceptable to indulge in pornogrphy in order to make your love life more exhilarating? Quite honestly, my sex life with my husband is satisfying enough without the aid of provocative books, magazines, or movies. Maybe after viewing this movie you will come home eager to jump into the arms of your husband but. let me be frank, it's no different than your husband viewing pornography in order to get his engine running before he jumps into your arms. Same thing, just a different vehicle. The sinful relationship between an unmarried couple should not be the example a Christian married couple follows. If you soak up 50 Shades, sister, you can expect a change in your marriage. It may very well begin with a bedroom romp, but as is the time-tested result of pornography, soon it won't be enough. Slowly, but most assuredly, you will tear down your marriage brick by brick.
   
   Hebrews 13:4
   Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
                   
2. Expect your walk with Christ to be infected. Somehow, in all the comments I have read from professing women of the faith, I have seen a defiant defense of this series instead of a sobering and passionate call to purity and honor. Have we lost all respect and thankfulness for our Savior that we would spit in His blood like this? Have we no shame at all in being entertained by the very evil that He died to set us free from? If you open your heart and welcome Christian Grey in, expect Christ to be far from you. We can either choose the lust and bondage of Mr. Grey, or we can choose the love, the purity, and the freedom in Christ. We can't have it both ways. That's just a fact.
   
   Matthew 6:24
   No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

My heart has trembled and my eyes have cried sitting and watching my sisters handcuffed to this series. I'm raising my children in a world where evil isn't lurking in the dark alleyways anymore, but paraded down the Church aisle. But y'all...

I love my daughters too much to allow them to be taught that the relationship between Christian and Ana is a healthy, loving relationship; that bondage, humiliation, degradation, and punishment are ingredients in a love story. I want them to revel in the freedom of truth and be able to walk confidently in the knowledge that Jesus is the picture of what love really is.

I love my son too much not to shield him from a world that will tell him that porn is normal and healthy. I don't want him indoctrinated by Hollywood, I want him instructed in righteousness. I love my children enough to introduce them, not to E.L. James, but to the Author of real love. And, God help me, I'm going to fight garbage like this for the sake of my children's purity until my dying day.

I love my husband too much to allow myself to be swept off my emotional feet by a fictional character. Frankly, as a young woman married five years with three children, I am plenty satisfied in my marital bed. I don't need a supplement that my enemy can use to plant seeds of discontentment in my heart. I have too much respect for my God-fearing, hard working, adoring husband to even begin to compare him with a sadist who has no concept of real love, commitment and sacrifice.

Finally, I love my God too much to disobey Him. If He says to steer clear of the things that drive a wedge between us, then I have to obey. There is no part of me that wants to shove His grace into the sewer and gobble up poison. I love Him enough to believe that He will bless the ones who walk in His ways, and judge what is wicked.

To those of you on the front lines of purity and righteousness, I'm wielding my sword with you. It's the casualties of this war that has me up at 3 A.M. but, nevertheless, it is a comfort to know that when it's all said and done, we win the battle. That's a mighty good thing we can expect.

So You Don't Want to Wait for Marriage

Last summer, a woman wrote a blog post about how she remained a virgin until marriage and how much she wished she hadn't.

She wrote about how she signed her name to the True Love Waits pledge at 10 years of age, how she wore her "virginity badge" with honor all throughout her teen years. Then on her wedding night, instead of joyously experiencing the beauty of God's way, she felt dirty and awkward. She hated being intimate with her husband, underwent therapy, and finally shucked religion altogether.

Suffice it to say, the post went viral. Reading it, my heart broke. There's no telling how many read that blog and decided that purity wasn't worth saving.

So you don't want to wait for marriage? May I give you another side of the story that is far different from the one above? You see I, too, signed my name to the TLW pledge at an early age. I, too, remained a virgin all throughout my teenage years and into my early twenties. I, too, was pure on my wedding night. So let me be honest and give you some good advice, from someone who's also been there, done that.

Many make the mistake of assuming that virginity and purity are the same thing when, in truth, there is a difference between the two. Virginity is something we have and give away once, preferably to our spouse on our wedding night as commanded by God. It's priceless and we can never get it back. Purity, however, goes deeper. Purity is a not simply something, it's a lifestyle of shunning sin and embracing what is holy and beautiful. The young woman who wrote that blog had a misconception of the two and I believe the Church is partially responsible.

The Church has failed its young people by making marital intimacy appear boring and unexciting. Instead of seeing Christian couples in the Church madly in love and enjoying all the blessings of sex inside of marriage, they see most of them battling pornography addictions, having affairs, or undergoing painful divorces. For the most part, young people grow up either believing their elders are outright lying to them OR they grow up being indoctrinated that sex is dirty and shameful. And as a result, they either reject the notion of marriage altogether, or they carry that into their marriage and end up feeling impure once they hand over their virginity to their spouse. The problem isn't that they remained a virgin, the problem is the fuel behind their choice and the misconception of what purity truly is. If you make the choice to remain a virgin until your wedding night, assuming that's all there is to purity, you are going to be disappointed and you will likely wind up with just as much angst as the girl who wrote that blog. Purity is not merely something you "have." Purity is a way of life that can only be lived through the blood and the power of Jesus Christ. If you want a heavenly marriage, you will live in purity. You will carry it with you always, not leave it on the bed on your wedding night. It will go with you as you fold laundry, buy groceries, and pay your bills. It will walk with you into the sanctuary at your Church and into the bedroom with your husband.

Was my wedding night awkward? Not really, no.

Did I feel dirty and ashamed? Not once.

Did I grow to dread intimacy with my spouse after that? Not at all (my three kids likely prove that, eh? ;)

I made the same choices as that young woman did. The difference between us both, however, is the reasons behind the choices I made. I didn't stay a virgin because it was expected of me or because everybody else was signing cards pledging to do it too. I didn't stay a virgin because the Church pounded the notion into my head, threatening me with hell fire if I gave it away before the wedding vows. I made the choices I did because saving physical intimacy is a command of God and based on a principle of God's Kingdom. In Matthew 7:6, Jesus told His disciples, "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine." 

I trusted that the Lord would be faithful to me. And He was.

Countless young people read that blog post and fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. No doubt many decided to forgo sexual purity and hand over their virginity simply because it's their body and their choice. But to that young woman and all the others in the same boat, I say this: Of all the things of great value in your life, one of the most precious is your sexuality. It's meant to be a holy and set-apart place of our being and reserved for only one to have access. It's not about rules and regulations, it's about God granting us a little brush with heaven. When God sets the stage for marital intimacy, it will never ever lose its beauty.

Love: As Scripted By God

In a culture whose heroes of love are Edward Cullen or Christian Grey, never has it been easier to see what love is.

...or at least, what has the appearance of love. In reality, what is scripted by screenwriters and published by people who do not know Jesus Christ, what is labeled as love is anything but.

It's depicted as an all-powerful surge of emotions; something we literally "fall" in to. For many, it is an overwhelming mental obsession; for many more, it is a mad desire to simply jump in bed together. It has been reduced to clever, cushy sayings that are then quoted by the masses on blogs, Tumblr accounts, selfie Instagram photos, and Facebook pages.

It's something we can choose to give up on if it's in our best interest. It's something we can find in many different partners, so long as we are kept happy and comfortable.

May I tell you what love - true, marital love - looks like when it's scripted by its Author?


Love is giving all of you and the best of you, especially when you don't want to.

Love is keeping sacred things sacred (your body parts, your marriage bed, your heart).

Love is the shared glace over the dinner table while your children are laughing.

Love is being held tenderly when your heart has been broken, whether by a hurtful word or a painful loss.

Love is faithfulness even when you're financially broke, emotionally empty, or physically ill. It's the "sticking-togetherness" for better or for worse.

Love is knowing that you are desired, regardless of your swollen, pregnant belly or your inability to put on your own shoes.

Love is trust. 

Love is not wondering where your spouse is or if they desire another. It's not leaving your spouse in search of greener pastures instead of watering your own yard.

Love is doing your spouse good and not evil all the days of your life...whether it's reciprocated or not. 

Love is choosing their happiness over your own.

Love is initiating forgiveness and reconciliation even when it may have not have been "your fault."

Love is patience when your nerves are shot and kindness when stress is at an all-time high.

Love is friendship and all its belly laughs.

Love is being led to the throne of God, even when you're too weak to walk there alone.



Love is many things that are no longer sought after or cultivated in relationships. Instead, it's a weak, feelings-based decision that we can make null and void should we have the urge to. And as a result, there's heartbreak, divorce, anger and resentment, and quite a bit of emptiness.

But if you want a little glimmer of heaven, if you want something with substance and beauty, let God be your Scriptwriter. His stories are the best.

The Secret to a Fulfilled Life

When a couple is in love, they want to spend every waking moment with each other. They talk constantly. They share the details of their life with one another, and they are overjoyed to simply be a special part of each other’s life. 

Now for the tough question:

Does our heart delight in the Lord?

Marriage is only a reflection of the spiritual relationship God longs to have with us. Anything we could ever desire in an earthly relationship, we already have offered to us in the Lord. We naturally desire to be pursued, understood, taken care of, protected, and loved with a dependable love. These desires were created in us by God, but we are quick to doubt that He is able to fulfill every one of our desires completely.

Even the best marriages will still include moments of loneliness and heartache. The same basic struggles that singles have are often found in marriage too. Married women often admit to feeling alone and unfulfilled, even those that are financially secure with a thriving career. Why is that?

Just as God created us to long for love and peace, He also created a void within us that only He can fill.

The psalmist, David, wrote: Delight thyself also in the LORD: and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (Psalm 37:4)

If you are familiar with that verse, I’m sure you have heard the commonly used paraphrase: Love the Lord and He will give you what you want.

That definition sounds appealing, especially when you are lonely and ready for a romance, but that is not at all what this Scripture is saying.

What does it mean to “delight” in the Lord? That’s pretty unusual terminology when the subject is spiritual. To delight in someone means you take great joy and pleasure in them. It means to be caught up with excitement and satisfaction with the one in whom you’re delighting in.

Simply loving the Lord does not mean that we will have an easy, comfortable life with material possessions and perfect relationships. If we are not ultimately content in the person of our Savior, we will never be content, even with an earthly relationship or with all the money in the world at our disposal. No amount of gifts, love letters, or tender expressions can fully satisfy us because we were created to delight, first, in Christ Jesus. The more we rejoice in Him and find our fulfillment in Him, the more our heart’s desires will merge with His. If we fall in love with Jesus, the cravings of our flesh and the longings for other, earthly things will diminish because our satisfaction is firmly rooted in the love of Jesus. It is only through this Heavenly romance that we can be fully fulfilled by our earthly spouse.

 (excerpted from my upcoming book)

What Does Your Husband See When He Comes Home From Work?

Before I married, I heard a story of a older lady whose Pastor stopped by for a brief moment one afternoon. As the clock ticked close to 5 p.m., she stood and said, "Forgive me for ending our conversation, Pastor, but my husband will be home shortly and I always take the last 15 minutes of my day to freshen up for him."

That resonated with me.

It seems as though dignity in marriage has been lost. It has become common for women to let themselves go once the wedding vows are spoken. No longer is it necessary to behave and dress like you did prior to marriage because hey, you got him, right? Some stop shaving their legs regularly. Those who once wore make-up toss it in their make-up bag. Daily showers are replaced with "whenever I feel like it" showers. Bodily functions are on display. And no attention is given to how they keep themselves. This is so far from how it should be.

There is no dignity or nobleness in that couch-potato attitude.

Now, I'm not saying we have to look like we stepped off the pages of a magazine all the time. Marriage is a bare-all relationship where every flaw and blemish is exposed to the other, and there will be plenty of days when the worst comes seeping out. That's where commitment comes in. My husband has seen me sick, pregnant, and definitely not looking my best numerous times. He has come home to me in sweats with no make-up, unwashed hair, and pale with fatigue. I definitely don't greet him at the door wearing pearls and a cute apron, though the thought sounds really nice. :) However, I do try to put an effort into my appearance, not because I'm afraid he will lose interest in me, but because I desire to show him I care about my job as his wife and the mother of his children. I wear jewelry, even if it's small. If I don't want to wear make-up, I at least wash my face and dab on a little lip balm, concealer, or eye shadow. I try to have my hair looking somewhat presentable and not that "I-rolled-out-of-bed-5-minutes-ago" look. In short: I try to look appealing and desirable for him. Because I love him and I respect him.

How we act and dress reflects our attitude and how we feel on the inside. If we lounge around in sloppy clothes each day and don't bother with perfume or hairspray, then it shows that we don't value our position very highly. If we never bother looking decent or presentable at home, but make sure to get nicely dressed if we go out, then we are sending the message to our husband that we care more about our appearance in front of others than with him. It's important to carry ourselves with ladylike dignity in a world that is so drastically opposite, and to represent our husband and our Savior well. We should be striving to be women of Christ-like set-apartness who demonstrates the peculiar, beautiful, and noble life of those who have been redeemed by Jehovah God.

There's a little food for thought for you today. If you are a wife, join me in pursuing an attitude of noble character and beauty in your marriage. Let your husband see a smiling, put-together woman who is happy to see him when he walks through the door. :)

Single Girls Should Fall in Love

When my husband whispers sweet words in my ear, writes me love notes, or brings me flowers, I completely melt. When he holds me, wipes my tears, and sacrifices himself to put me first, I fall more and more in love with the man I married. I have been so blessed and humbled by him and I love him more today than I ever have. 

Though I have been a married woman for nearly four years, on Valentine's Day, I always seem to go back to my single years. These days, while I revel in the romance and intimacy of marriage, my thoughts are still very much with all of you single girls. And I think you should fall in love.

I'm talking completely, passionately, crazy in love

....with Jesus.

It's become so abnormal to be in love with Jesus. It sounds foreign. A little radical. Just plain weird. But let me tell you that if you want your marriage to be all it's meant to be, fall in love with Jesus! Make Him the lover of your soul.

Do you long for a man to sweep you off your feat? To battle the dragons for you? To charge the enemy and rescue you? Fall in love with Jesus. He not only came to romance you (Hosea 2:19; Song of Solomon 2:10), but He defeated hell for you to rescue you from sin (Galatians 3:13; Titus 2:14; 1 Peter 1:18-19).

Do you desperately want a man who will wipe your tears? Who will listen to every little thing you care about? To put you above all others? Fall in love with Jesus. He collects your tears (Psalm 56:8). He cares about the smallest burden we carry (1 Peter 5:7). And He loves you enough that He sacrificed Himself for you (Ephesians 5:2).

If you're like me, you get mushy when a guy does sweet things for you. So how much more should we fall in love with Christ every day? As we open up His Word and hear all of His promises, see all of His love, and feel all of His passion for us, we should have a burning desire to pour out our lives for Him. Forever. When I read His letter to me and am reminded of His great love, His astounding grace, His tender voice calling out to me, I should do no less than fall at His feet in completely adoration! I should fall in love.

My marriage isn't without flaws. No earthly love story is perfect when it is made up of two sinners. But when those two sinners fall totally in love with Jesus, a little piece of heaven comes down. And it's beautiful.

Today, if you are single and bemoaning this day of love, let me encourage you to just fall in love! Fall totally, and deeply and radically in love with the Prince of Heaven, the Savoir, Redeemer, Friend, and Author of Love. Go fall in love with Jesus and let Him steal your heart.


 

5 Ways to Make Your Bedroom a Romantic Sanctuary

Valentine's Day is in just a few days, so love is very much on the brain. Last week, I wrote about keeping our marriage sacred. Today, along those same lines, I'm going to give you five ways you can make your bedroom a romantic sanctuary. Here we go!

Keep it neat. I'm the type that cannot relax if there's clutter and junk all over the room. When we come back from a trip, I try to unpack immediately. If it's been a hectic day and I'm completely spent, I at least toss the scattered clothes in the closet out of sight. It's just difficult for me to settle down and genuinely rest when I see unrest all around me. Our bedroom is my number one priority spot that I try to make sure is neat at all times. A crazy, unkempt room doesn't exactly scream "romance!"

Make it smell nice. Light a good candle. Wash your sheets regularly. Go get an Essential Oil diffuser. You don't want your bedroom smelling like dirty laundry or leftover chicken (or diapers for you parents!). Make your bedroom smell nice and inviting.

Keep the kids out. Now I am a big advocate of co-sleeping and attachment parenting. But too much of a good thing can be unhealthy. I had both of my children in my bed for pretty much the first month of their lives. Nathan slept in our room for nearly a year (thankfully, he is a very heavy sleeper!). With Selah being a light sleeper and very clingy, we made the decision to transition her to her own room before she began viewing our room as "her" room. It was tough and there were some interesting nights, but we are reaping the rewards now. Our children are welcome in our bedroom and we love cuddling with them, but we began to teach them early on that their bedroom is where they will sleep. And honestly speaking, it's very hard to be romantic when you are worried about waking the sleeping baby three feet away....or snoozing right beside you! If we aren't careful, our kids will take custody of our marriage, so it is important to teach them that mommy and daddy's relationship comes first. And it's important that both you and your husband have YOUR place where you are free to relax and be with one another.

Don't have a TV. Grant and I decided before we married that we would not have a TV in our bedroom. TV is a romance killer and takes away from focused, one-on-one time for you as a couple. So ditch it. Spend your time together talking, sharing, cuddling, and sleeping without the distraction of a movie or television show.

Hang pictures of you as a couple. Your bedroom is about the two of you. And your relationship is above all other earthly relationships. Have reminders of that all around you.


What about you? Is your bedroom a romantic haven?

Keeping Marriage Sacred

We have all had "the talk" and we are well aware of the in's and out's of procreation and physical intimacy. So let me be frank.

It's time for the marriage bed to 
go back behind closed (and locked!) doors.

I believe God designed marriage and its intimacy to be between one man and one woman. As a Christian, I believe marriage is sacred and the marriage bed should be protected; at all costs. Sadly, though, it isn't so sacred anymore.

Years before I married Grant, I read an article that encouraged young couples to make their bedroom a haven; to keep it neat and tidy, smelling nice, and have an atmosphere of peace and relaxation. It should be a place that is pleasant and enjoyable to be in, not cluttered with smelly laundry, papers from work, or last night's supper. I remembered that advice and now work to make sure our bedroom is always clean and relaxing. Why? Because to us, it's a sacred place.

I cringe every time I hear a wife sharing with others what goes on behind closed doors. It's become the norm to exploit our personal lives for the entertainment of others. And Facebook - ahh Facebook - it is certainly not a place to reveal the going's on in your private time with your husband. Three's a crowd, y'all! Fellow wives, may I give you some advice? 

Keep your marriage - that holy union where two become one - sacred. 

Marriage is a covenant that is binding. The marriage bed is a place where God has given you permission to consummate that covenant; where you are given a licence to love and enjoy your spouse in the purity and glory of the vows you have made. It's where memories - and babies! - are made. It's a safe haven for secrets, tears, and your deepest dreams and fears. It's meant to be holy. It's meant to be protected. And private.

Hebrews 13:4a says, "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled..." 

Let's not defile the marriage bed by exposing it to a third party or by inviting others into our bedroom by way of a girl's night out chat. I have no business knowing your preferences or the details of what God calls sacred.

Let's reclaim the purity and sacredness of our marriages again!

I Have a Crush on My Husband

If you have Instagram or Facebook, chances are you're familiar with Man Crush Monday. Every week pictures are posted of the days' "crush." So may I just say, I have a huge crush on my husband! And I guess today is a good day to proclaim it, it being Monday. :) So let me tell you why I have a crush on my husband.

1. He's mine. Nobody else's. I don't share him with the masses. I don't sit and pine away hoping he will notice me. I don't worry that he will one day not be mine. He's simply mine. Forever.
       
2. He has integrity. The man is strong. He makes me feel safe, both physically and emotionally. He stands up for what's right and will tell you the truth no matter how tough it is to hear. He works hard. He is honest in his dealings and he gives, gives, gives. I really think he needs a vacation more than once a year.
       
3. He's a faithful husband. I don't have to wonder if he will suddenly leave me for another woman. I don't have to worry about him getting caught up in the world and all its vices. I never worry about him going out with the guys, getting drunk, and doing heaven knows what. And he has told me that no other woman - any woman - is more attractive than I am. He doesn't disrespect me, play on my insecurities, or hurt my heart by drooling over celebrities. His only "Woman Crush Wednesday" is me. And me alone! Girls, that's priceless.
         
4. He loves beyond the surface. I've been through pregnancy twice already. I've been sick. I've been mean. I've battled depression. I've put on a little weight since marriage. But he loves me more today than he ever did in the past. And I love him more too. In my eyes, he is smokin' hot! But I seriously cannot wait until he is old and grey. That's love. Word to the wise: if you "crush" solely on men with six packs, tanned skin, or a sultry singing voice, you are really missing what it's all about.
       
5. He's in love with Jesus. If I call him up while he's at work or if I go to him while he's busy here at the house and ask him for prayer, he stops immediately and prays with me. He loves Church and God's people. I love it when I wake up early in the morning to an empty spot in the bed and find him reading his Bible and sipping coffee in the living room. He doesn't just tell folks he's a Christian, he lives it out. Nah, he's not perfect, but by golly, he's a Godly man! And he brings me closer to Jesus.

So you can understand why you will never see pictures of Luke Bryan, Gerald Bulter, or any man other than my husband grace my social news feed. I have eyes for my husband alone; my one and only crush. ;)


Proverbs 31:12
"She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."

Choosing to be In Love

We tend to think love is a feeling that comes naturally and easily. And many of us go into marriage expecting regular sunset strolls, bouquets of flowers, and passionate thoughts. I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but.... that's unrealistic.

Now, I am in love with my husband. But even in our short, three and a half years of marriage I have not always treated him lovingly like I should. Yeah I know, I'm human so it's okay. I'm excused from that. Right? Eh....wrong. Our culture is all about "feelings." Have you noticed that? Have you heard the songs? Seen the movies? When something goes wrong or when our rose colored glasses begin to show a more realistic picture, we are conditioned to go with our feelings. We get angry. We get selfish and refuse to meet his needs. We gossip to our girlfriends. We withhold our hearts. We snap and nag. We leave....

I cringe when I hear couples say, "We just fell out of love. We didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. We aren't in love anymore." That is all about feelings. Every couple is going to have some really hard times, but that is no excuse to end what God ordained to be a lifelong commitment.

Would you believe that I have not 

always felt in love with my husband?

*GASP*

Yes, that's true.

• That day when he didn't meet my needs.
       
• That time he wasn't romantic when I wanted him to be.
        
• That moment he said something Prince Charming would never say!
      
• That time when he was too preoccupied to show concern about my emotions.
       
• That day when he was just mad and needed support....and I took it personally and got mad right back. 

....and so on.

It's silly to latch on to those very real moments that happen in every single marriage and view them as a lack of love. He didn't do this, so we are obviously not in love anymore! That's immature and believe you me, I have had my share of immature moments too. I'm ashamed of it, but it's true. 

Acting according to our feelings is a marriage killer. Love is not a feeling because, if you are a woman, you know full well that feelings come and go. We feel a lot of very different things every day. Ever had a day when you are overflowing with joy one minute, and then suddenly all seems lost and you end up crying your eyes out over the kitchen sink? Come on, let's be honest. We feel but that doesn't always mean our feelings are correct. And it certainly doesn't mean that we should act on them all the time.

Love a choice. To be in love is a choice. Let's look at 1 Corinthians 13.

Charity (love) suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth:

In the real world, no one will ever feel patient all the time. Or kind. It is a choice to be patient, to be kind, to refuse to envy or be prideful. It is a choice we make to behave gracefully, to be sacrificial and giving of ourselves, to resist the urge to be provoked to anger, or to think evil of someone else - including our spouse. Choosing to be those things, regardless of our feelings, is what love is. I am in love with my husband, not because he is perfect or because I am perfect, and not because we "feel" like loving each other with 1 Corinthians 13 love, but because I chose to be in love with him. I make a choice every moment, in the good times and in the bad, to love the man God gave me. Or not to love him like He said.

That choice is yours too. And I encourage you - and oh golly myself too! - to get control over our feelings and make the right choice every single day.

Here's to a happy marriage! 

Smile at Your Husband

photo credit

Marriage takes work. Life is hectic and, I don't know about you, but it is easy to loose each other in the hustle and bustle of our comings and goings. As wives, it's easy to let our day-to-day tasks overcome us and make us....well....a bit mean. So let me just say....

Smile at your husband.

I'm learning that this is important. Very important. My husband has told me so. He doesn't want to come home to a grouch or to a woman ready to start firing demanding remarks.

He wants a smile.

Yes, the laundry is backed up and there are dishes in the sink. Yes, the children have kool-aid stains on their faces and dried, crusty peanut butter in their hair. Yes, you are in your sweats and a t-shirt covered with spit up. Yes, you are frustrated. Tired. Maybe a bit angry.

But smile at him.

It is easy to greet my husband with an "it's about time" attitude when he walks through the door. You know what I mean. I've been cleaning your house, washing your clothes, and training your kids all day. Now that you're home, where is my reward?

No, sister. Smile.

You were created by God to be this man's help meet. Not his boss or his criticizer. He made you to complete this man and to compliment this man. He made you to be his partner. His friend. His confident. His forever mate.

Smile at him.

Your husband chose you. He chose you to be the queen of his home, the mother of his children, and the love of his life. No, he's not perfect. He's a fallen sinner, just like you. All the more reason to offer him grace and love...

And a smile.

Life is full of the unexpected. The dishwasher breaks. The children get sick. The bathroom floods. The tires go flat. The bills stack up. The demands demand more.

But in the middle of the chaos, we can choose either to be full of joy or full of pouts and complaints. It's our choice. Through the dirt, sweat, spit up, or throw up, we make a choice every day to either build up our marriage with a sweet smile and a little flirtation, or to tear down our marriage with a short fuse and sarcasm. I encourage you, no matter how your day goes, when your man walks in through the door, turn your head to him, bat your eyes....and smile.

A Sweeter Song

We tend to absorb every love song lyric and every endearing chick flick like we take breath into our body. God created females as creatures who bask in beauty and in romance and it is a wonderful thing! There is no shame in loving love and loving to be loved. However, our generation is packed with counterfeit pictures of romance and, as a result, our perception is a bit warped in light of the truth. Most movies paint a distorted and unrealistic view of love and marriage. Many songs give us the impression that true love is a spontaneous, fire-filled experience, always led by our own hearts instead of our minds. In truth, this is far from God’s description of love.

I remember the first time I witnessed a friend endure a heart wrenching breakup. She was devastated. One night I remember going up to her and asking if she was okay. I listened to her cry and tell me stories of the good times she and her ex had shared. She told me how she gave her heart and her body to the boy she thought would be hers forever. And now, just as quickly as the spark had ignited, it was over. Seeing the raw anguish so evident on her face, I remember thinking to myself, “I don’t want to experience this kind of pain.” As she continued to pour out her hurt to me, I saw a change in her attitude. Suddenly she was angry—very angry—at the boy who had jilted her and left her so miserable. No longer was she mourning her loss. Now she was out for revenge. And I shuddered. That night made an impression on me. In no way did I want to experience the sorrow—and then the rage—that a breakup was capable of producing. This “love” that everyone was after seemed to be utterly different than what all the love songs were about. Wasn’t there a better way?

I was thirteen years old when I caught a glimpse of a sweeter song. It was about more than butterflies and sweaty palms; more than holding hands and receiving love letters. I got a glimpse of a magnificent love story. And I wanted it.

May I share it with you?

If we want a happy and fulfilling marriage, we must know what to embrace and what to toss in the trash. Let me give you two scenarios; two songs:

• Song #1: You have a serious crush on the handsome guy who just asked you out. He’s a great looking guy. He makes you feel completely desirable. He asks you out. You say yes. You go out on Friday and Saturday nights. You go to Church together and sit by each other’s side. You hold hands. You text multiple times a day. You share the “I love you’s” and the flirtatious giggles. You reveal secrets and dreams that are in your heart. You brag to your friends about your amazing relationship. Then something changes. Maybe it’s him. Maybe it’s you. You start to drift apart. Drama starts happening. Finally after a heated phone call or venomous text messages, you call it quits. Either you are angry and hurt, or you could care less about him or his heart. Either way, it’s over. And you move on. Oooh, now that guy over there is good looking….

• Song #2: You steal glances at the couples around you. You find yourself thinking about the handsome guy a few feet away. The way he looks at you makes your heart race. He walks up to you. He asks you out. ...and you say “no.” Oh, it’s not that you don’t want to go out! You do. But somewhere past your pounding heart, you know that it isn’t time. God is teaching you so much about Him and you cannot be distracted. You want to be completely lost in His will and you know, however difficult it is now, it will be worth it down the road. You need to prepare and mature so you will be ready for the commitment and sacrifice marriage calls for. So you say “no” with a small twinge of sadness. He walks away. People look at you funny. What’s wrong with you, anyway? Years pass. Then you meet a man who is so much in love with Christ that you fall more in love with Christ too! You become friends. You learn about Him together. Then one day you both realize that you love each other and that God has led you together. He proposes. You say “YES!” And you marry your best friend and give your whole heart and untouched body to him forever.

Let me ask you, which song would you prefer? I don’t know about you, but I have had my fill of song #1. Far too many sing its empty tune and lose so much of their hearts and bodies in the process. Let me encourage you - chose the sweeter song; the song God Himself longs to sing in your ear.

Eye Candy Will Make You Sick

Can I share something with you that troubles me? Okay, here it goes....

Eye candy.

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Yes, that's right. Eye candy. Pinterest is all the rage right now and, I will admit, I am a fan. I love learning new tips and tricks to better my home, my health, and finding fun activities to try with my kiddo. But I get disturbed when I see tweens, teens, young ladies, and - yes - married women pin pictures of male celebrities onto their boards. ---- Mind you, I'm talking about Christian girls and women.

Remember when your Mom would say, "No more candy. It will give you a tummy ache"? We were taught from an early age that eating too much junk food was bad for us and could make us sick. It's definitely true! Too much candy = bad health. Too much junk food = low energy and an all-around BLEH-feeling! Now let's apply that spiritually.

Spiritually, ANY and all "junk food" makes us sick. It erodes our soul. It drains us of spiritual stamina. It puts our focus on earthly, carnal things instead of heavenly things. Keep in mind sin most always starts with the eyes. We see it. We want it. We take it. The Bible calls it the "lust of the eyes."  (1 John 2:16)

You may be thinking, "Okay I see what you're saying, but I'm just pinning a picture of a good looking guy! No harm, no foul."

I beg to differ.

If you are single, this harms your perception of marriage and devalues men in general. Think about it. Take a second and picture your future husband pinning pictures of ultra-"gorgeous" female celebrities onto his Pinterest board. Picture him gawking and drooling over the skinny, barely clad, airbrushed models that he tags as "sexy" and "delicious." Would it bother you? Intimidate you? Hurt you? Make you feel less than perfect? Likewise. If you fill up your eyes and your mind with "eye candy" you will have little room for good, healthy, Biblical precepts. Proverbs 31:10 asks the question, "Who can find a virtuous woman?"  In verse 12, it says that she (this virtuous woman) does her husband "good and not evil all the days of her life." Let me ask you. Is it virtuous to store up man candy, even while single? Is it doing your future husband good? Are you preparing yourself to be a noble and Godly wife while filing away images of "hot men" that you can (and no doubt will, as is tempting for us to do) compare him to? Think about it, girls. Be wise!

If you are married, this is a slap to your husband. In Matthew 5:27-28, Jesus talks about adultery and says some strong words. He said that if a man looks at a woman and lusts after her, he has already committed adultery in his heart. That goes for us, too! Wow...talk about serious! Proverbs 5:15 instructs husbands to "Drink waters out of thine own cistern..."  What does that mean? It means stick with your own wife. And in like manner WE should stick with our own husbands, not only physically by not committing literal adultery, but in every way! Bring your husband honor by regarding him as the only lover of your heart and the only "candy" your eyes indulge in. Build your house, ladies. Don't pluck it down by foolishly allowing your eyes to drink in the shirtless, seductive-posing Hollywood celebs that you are not married to.

It all goes back to purity. Purity is more than being physically abstinent. It's so much more! And, believe you me, impurity has a knack for knocking down a single young person, and utterly pulverizing a marriage.

Simply put: Eye candy will make you spiritually sick.

Fifteen Reasons to Flee Fifty Shades

I feel the need to post a warning at the beginning of this post. This blog post is about the popular series, "Fifty Shades of Grey" and contains sexual references. Please be advised before you continue and I would ask that those ages 15 (at least) and younger do not read.

A few years ago, before I married, I worked at our county Library. It was there that I came face-to-face with the ever-popular romance novels. Growing up in Church and with godly parents, I had heard on numerous occasions to flee the books and not be drawn into their lust. I never quite understood just how harmful a little book could be. Little did I know....

I remember one morning at work, watching as an older lady came in with (literally) a bag full of romance novels to turn in and exchange for a new bag. As she exited the library and I looked at the stack before me to put away, my curiosity got the better of me and I wondered, "What on earth is in these things?!?" I picked one up, I opened it, and after less than two minutes of skimming, I was slammed with foul, obscene, sexual talk that I had never been exposed to before. Quite honestly, I was shaken. I was disgusted. I was embarrassed. I was affected. And then I was horrified and angry as I watched countless Church women grab armloads of the books to cart home.

Now I have sat quietly and observed scores of women - young and old, Christian and non - who are raving about the series, Fifty Shades of Grey, and are about as obsessed with its content and characters as most tweens are with the Twilight phenomenon. I can't sit quietly anymore because I have a passion for purity and for marriage. So I have listed below 15 reasons to avoid Fifty Shades. I don't want to offend and make anyone upset, and I am in no way going to be drawn into a debate. I'm just speaking what I believe the Lord wants someone to say. And I pray we will all have ears to hear and hearts to obey.

15 Reasons to Flee Fifty Shades

1. It glorifies sex outside of marriage. Of course, it's common these days to have sex outside of marriage, but that makes no difference to my God who said in Malachi 3:6, "I change not." The relationship between Ana and Grey in Fifty Shades is an immoral relationship, simple as that. They are not married, yet they are engaging in premarital sex over and over again. God's Word says to "flee fornication." (1 Corinthians 6:18) If He says it, we should obey it and run from it. Not place a glorifying picture of it on our coffee table or download it onto our Kindle.
       
2. It's all about lust. Let's just be honest. People aren't reading Fifty Shades because it is a  literary masterpiece. I'm no fool. It's ALL about lust and the Bible has some strong words against lust. I'd go as far as to say that the root problem for nearly every sin is lust. The Bible says in 1 John 2:16 that the lust of the flesh and the eyes is not of God, but of the world. In James 1:15, it says "Then when lust hath conceived  it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death." That's a serious verse, people.
         
3. BDSM is praised. Hebrews 13:4 tells us that the marriage bed is undefiled. That means, as long as you stay within God's guidelines, you are free to enjoy the pleasures of marital intimacy. First of all, the couple in Fifty Shades is not at all married, so it's still sin. But even if they were married, it is wrong to beat, harm, be demanding and hateful, controlling, and enjoying inflicting pain upon another.
       
4. The book(s) are explicit. You can go ahead and argue that Song of Solomon is explicit. But before you tune me out (if you haven't already) I would like you to sit down and read the whole book of Song of Solomon and then compare the most detailed and "explicit" verse with a basic sexual paragraph from Fifty Shades. Song of Solomon is a beautiful, poetic picture of marital love and intimacy. It is written in allegory and because it is in God's Word and goes according to His principles, it is good. Fifty Shades is nothing more than a trashy counterfeit that's more about "hot-sex-in-the-backseat" than pure and holy marital love. Sorry, but it's true.
        
5. It takes the glory away from marriage. Been there, done that. I have had to sit still, biting my tongue, as I've listened to hurtful and degrading remarks from wives about their husbands as they tote a bag full of romance novels to the front desk of the library. I've seen women belittle their hardworking husbands on Facebook and then gush about the hot and steamy "love" in Fifty Shades. NEWSFLASH: Marriage is not like movies and books. Marriage is hard. It is not for the weak, the lazy, or the "pamper-me-princess" type. It takes 110% on both parts and, honey, if you're soaking up the made-up "ideals" in books like Fifty Shades, you're slowly breaking down your marriage, piece by piece.
      
6. It's pornography for women. If your husband (I'm including your FUTURE husband, if you're single) excitedly sat down with a Playboy magazine and spent an hour turning the pages, would you be offended? Here he is, gazing at naked women and maybe even excitedly telling you about how great the magazine (or website, etc) is. Let's get real. It is no different. You can try to justify it, but YOU sitting there reading about a man ripping clothes off of his conquest and letting your mind take flight in your own private movie is the same thing... it's porn.
       
7. It stirs up discontentment in marriage. I've heard it. "Why doesn't my husband do that?" or "Why can't my husband treat me that way?" Romance novels - and I'm not just talking about Fifty Shades - are written to appeal to women's sexual appetites. They gaze at the "hunk" on the cover or read his detailed description in a book and wonder why their husband can't look like that. They read about a passionate moment and become discontent because they haven't had one "just like that." Ladies, IT'S MADE UP. It's fiction. Expecting our husbands to live up to this make-believe man in a book (or movie, for that matter) is stripping him of HIS glory. God made him the way he is. And you married him. Toss the garbage and focus on your husband. He may not be as romantic as the made-up guy in the book. He may not say the same things in the same way. He may be 50 lbs heavier than he should be. But hey, if you're like me, you probably don't look like a supermodel yourself. My husband loves me. He works hard for me. He is the father of my children. And I adore him. Not for one minute would I think of belittling his good qualities and try to change him into a mold of man some woman made up. No, thank you.
       
8. It mistakes lust for love. Reviews say that Fifty Shades is "bringing marriages closer." Come again? All this book does is point our affections to a fake man. Yeah, it may possibly make you run and jump into your husband's arms. But what's the reason? Because you're desperately in love with him? Or because you're in a lustful frenzy brought on by a fake experience? Is it because you find this man God gave you absolutely desirable? Or because you have a mini-movie playing out in your head and you want to act it out for real? Don't mistake cheap lust for love.
      
9. It gives unrealistic expectations to the single. If you read Fifty Shades as a single person, you are setting yourself up for disappointment in marriage. All you are doing is focusing on made-up, sinful fantasies from a woman who does not know Jesus Christ. If you want to prepare for marriage, go to the best marriage manual ever written - God's Word. I'm serious. There are plenty of Godly resources and Godly people who can help you become ready and worthy for a great marriage. But mark my words, if you absorb the mentality of romance novels like Fifty Shades, you will not only be ill-prepared, taint your mental and emotional purity, but have a distorted view of how a marriage relationship (or any relationship) should be.
      
10. It has the potential to lead to adultery. Fifty Shades is full of immoral sexuality. As I mentioned above, it can EASILY lead to discontentment in marriage or unrealistic expectations prior-to marriage. Discontentment often breeds a need to find....well...contentment! And I've heard people say, "Well if I can't find "it" here, I'll go elseware!" Don't say you are above it. Many greats in the Bible failed because they did not guard themselves properly against Satan. Do not be surprised if you find yourself unsatisfied with your husband and begin to wonder how green the grass is across the fence.
      
11. It's sex with "No-strings-attached." There is no romantic relationship in Fifty Shades. Only a sexual one. There is no commitment of marriage. Just raw, sexual vomit. As a happily married woman who waited for her wedding day, I can testify that they (and the millions in the world following the same destructive path), have no clue what they are missing.
        
12. It's captivated the world. If you take a step back and even open up your Bible and read the history of God's people, you can find that usually whatever is wildly acceptable in the world is anti Christ. Fifty Shades of Grey topped best-seller lists around the world. The series has sold 40 million copies already, worldwide. Book rights have been sold in 37 countries. It has set the record as the fastest-selling paperback of all time, beating the Harry Potter series. Usually, that's a red flag to stay away. Whatever is loved and admired by the world, is usually hated by a holy God. 1 John 2:15 says, "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world...
       
13. It makes us vulnerable to Satan. Lust begins with the eyes and mind. It's been said that the mind is the devil's playground. By opening our mind up to books like this, we are hanging a big "Welcome" sign to the devil. 1 Peter 5:8 says, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour." Satan would like nothing more than to destroy our marriage, our purity, and our walk with God. And he will use tools exactly like Fifty Shades to fill us with vile, sinful thoughts.
       
14. It will mare your purity. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." In other words, if I may paraphrase...."Guard your heart, your mind, and your life in its entirety no matter what it takes, because what's in the well comes up in the bucket." When we fill ourselves with impurity, (and, be honest, Fifty Shades cannot in any way constitute as pure) make no mistake, it WILL overflow. Purity is important, and it isn't solely for the single. Purity is a LIFESTYLE. It physical, but it's also spiritual and emotional too. The Lord says be holy (1 Peter 1:16). 1 Timothy 5:22 says to "....keep thyself pure." It's important while single. And it's important while married.
      
15. It will draw you away from God. You may be a Christian and secured in your salvation, but if you soak up perversion and filth, you will not be close to Jesus. Sin drives a wedge between us a God. That's why Christ came and died for us - to bridge that gap and give us a way to Him. When we willfully indulge in sin or toy with evil, we are spitting in the blood that saved us from hell. We are all human. We all make mistakes. We all fail. But that doesn't mean we should frustrate His marvelous grace and embrace sin, while waving the "I'm saved forever" card in His face. Pursue righteousness. Run after Jesus and all that He is. If we try to ride the fence and have our cake and eat it too, we will drift farther away from His blessings and have little to no impact for our Savior.

** Please note that this blog post was written to fellow Christians. If you are not a believer in Jesus Christ, I was not directing this post to you. However, I would love if you would click here to learn more about the Jesus who loves and saves!

Pursuing Purity in Marriage

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If you are single and reading this, then I hope you will take this to heart and remember it for later. If you are married and reading this, I hope you can find encouragement and inspiration.

Simply put: purity isn't a "singleness thing," it's a lifetime thing.

Yes, that's right.

I remember when I was single, I worked hard to remain pure while I waited to be married! It was difficult. Our sex-saturated society mocks abstinence and pushes every temptation imaginable into our view. It is only by God's grace and His strength that we can walk through our single years and remain pure in body and heart. But this post isn't about purity while single. It is about purity while married. I know some of you singles reading this might be shocked and wonder how purity can be a challenge after marriage! I mean, doesn't the struggle end once you walk the aisle and say your vows?? Far from it, I'm afraid. 

Before marriage, the struggle is to keep our body and heart pure, saved for our spouse. So what's the struggle AFTER marriage? Actually, it is exactly the same! - to keep our body and heart pure, saved for our spouse. And the battle is fierce.

Take a look around. Do you see the divorce rate? Have you noticed that affairs and infidelity is at an all-time high? Have you seen the ads, commercials, and TV shows that mock a happy, fulfilled marriage and parade lust and adultery like it's something we should be engaging in? I have. The other day I saw a yogurt commercial where two women gulped down spoonfuls of Greek yogurt because, magically, the more they ate, the more their husbands turned into a celebrity look-a-like. Hmm. A subtle point to lust? Looks like it.

Satan is sharp and is, indeed, roaming around like a hungry lion anxious to devour our marriages. It is up to us to build up walls of protection and guard against his devices.

So what are some practical ways we can have purity in our marriage?

1. First, delve into the Word of God. We are like sponges. If we are full of Jesus, there will be no room for anything else. It is not just important, it's VITAL, to soak ourselves in the Bible. Memorize scripture. Learn more of Who God is. Study. In so doing, we will grow and soak in all that He is. And the more of Him we have, the less of the world we will want.
          
2. PRAY. It is important to saturate our marriage and our husband in prayer. Pray for your husband to be strong, to be courageous, to be the leader that God has called him to be. Pray for strength for him when temptation arises. Remember that just as Satan is after you, he is also going to come against your husband. Pray. It's powerful.
            
3. Have an accountability partner. It can be your husband. It can be a friend (of the same gender). Whomever you chose, make sure that they are strong in their faith and passionate about purity. Pray together. Lift one another up with encouragement. I am thankful that I have a few select women in my life that I can call on and say, "Hey, Satan is trying to fill my mind with impurity. Pray for me right now, will you?" We need each other. It is important to have someone cheering you on, running the race with you, and lifting you up in prayer.
             
4. Remove the bait. Satan will come at us in different ways. What tempts you may not tempt me. So it is important to search our hearts and lives and find whatever our "thing" is that is enticing and remove it. If your computer is a problem, put in a filter, get rid of it, or appoint someone to keep you accountable. There are websites that link your net history to another's computer for better accountability. If it is a TV show or HBO blockbuster, consider turning off your satellite or cable or removing your TV from your home altogether. It isn't extreme to obey the Lord.
             
5. Steer clear of the devil's pawns. Impurity is everywhere. TV shows like "Sex and the City" and "Friends" where fornication and adultery is praised, should not be considered. Movies like "Magic Mike" where women are encouraged to gawk and giggle over male strippers, we should stay away from. Romance novels like "Fifty Shades of Grey" that explicitly describe what should be private and sacred, should be tossed in the garbage. Music that approves what God calls a sin, we shouldn't let our ears hear. Do not give place to anything that is unholy. If you compromise in the name of entertainment, don't be surprised if you suddenly find yourself unsatisfied in your marriage and far from the Lord.

God is pure, therefore Satan is on the attack against the purity and sacredness of marriage. It doesn't end at the wedding. Purity is a lifestyle. It is a direction. It is an attribute of Christ and, therefore, should be pursued forever.

Cheering you on!

When Marriage Becomes an Idol

Marriage is wonderful. Like most girls growing up, I dreamed about love and living happily ever after. Now that I am married, I often look back to my single years and, while I rejoice in the faithfulness of the Lord and the beauty of a pure past, I can see several pitfalls I wish I would have avoided. I pray you can benefit and learn from my season of singleness....
   

Today I am honored to be a guest post for Megan in her new series, Singleness Saturdays. Continue reading over at He Will Be Faithful.

Making Your Husband's Dreams Your Own

We live in a world where women are encouraged and even firmly instructed to be selfish and self-centered. We are conditioned to believe that it's all about "me;" my happiness, my ambitions, my desires. It is sad that even the Church is infiltrated with the same mindset of "looking out for number one" as the world.

But I have a question and a challenge for my fellow wives.

Have you ever listened to your husbands' dreams and plans and inwardly groaned? I'm going to be honest with you. I have. And I am ashamed of it.

My mom was, and is, a huge inspiration to me. Growing up, I watched as she embraced every goal, every vision, and every venture of my dad's with joy and enthusiasm. His plans became her plans. His attempts were her attempts. His dreams, she made her own. I never heard her say, "Ugh, please...no, no, no."  No matter how inconvenient it was for her, she willingly and selflessly put herself aside and went on every adventure right along side my father. I saw her stretch herself to accommodate everything in my dad's heart into her life. Everything he was....became hers too.
  

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Grant and I used Scripture in our vows when we married. In mine, I quoted a portion of Ruth chapter one which says, "for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me." (Ruth 1:16-17)

Talk about devotion! And this was said to Ruth's mother-in-law! But this serves as an excellent example of how we ought to cleave to our husbands.

The Lord gives us (women) good gifts; talents; abilities of our own. I, myself, have some pretty lofty dreams. But should I plow my way through to achieve my goals? Should I minimize my husband's plans and make mine the priority?

No, I should not.

Stop and take a look at your marriage. Are you a wife that rolls her eyes at her husband's vision, while campaigning your own dreams? If you are, then I challenge you to make an about-face. Be one with your husband and be his biggest fan, helpmeet, and supporter. Dream with him. I want to leave that kind of legacy for my children because, looking back, watching my mom's example is making me a better wife.

I challenge you to be a modern day Ruth who says, "Honey, that dream of yours is nothing like mine...let's go for it!"



This post is linked to: Women Living Well, Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots at Home, and A Wise Woman

My 2nd Anniversary Gift to Grant

Today marks Grant's and my 2nd Anniversary! I wanted to get him something special. Last year was difficult what with Nathan being born a few days before. We were not able to go out or do much. Instead, we stayed home and our mothers cooked up a gourmet meal, and we just spent time with one another and our brand new little baby!

This year, however, I wanted to do something a little more special for him. I picked him up a gift card to his favorite store. I bought him some candy (his favorite). Then I bought him the movies Ben Hur (an old classic) and Gone With The Wind, which we watched together on our honeymoon (his first-ever time to watch it!). Then I did something incredibly fun! I was given a free photo book from Shutterfly (have I mentioned how much I dearly love Shutterfly??) and I thought to myself, "What can I make for him?"

Aaaaaand, ta da! I decided to get as many pictures of the two of us that I could find and place them in a photo book with some of the many reasons I love him! I am sooooo pleased with the final result and Grant absolutely loved it! He loved all of it! Below is a little peak of the book. I didn't want to add all the pages because if you read all the many things I love about my husband, you would love him too! :)

I'm linked to: Time-Warp Wife