I remember the first time I witnessed a friend endure a heart wrenching breakup. She was devastated. One night I remember going up to her and asking if she was okay. I listened to her cry and tell me stories of the good times she and her ex had shared. She told me how she gave her heart and her body to the boy she thought would be hers forever. And now, just as quickly as the spark had ignited, it was over. Seeing the raw anguish so evident on her face, I remember thinking to myself, “I don’t want to experience this kind of pain.” As she continued to pour out her hurt to me, I saw a change in her attitude. Suddenly she was angry—very angry—at the boy who had jilted her and left her so miserable. No longer was she mourning her loss. Now she was out for revenge. And I shuddered. That night made an impression on me. In no way did I want to experience the sorrow—and then the rage—that a breakup was capable of producing. This “love” that everyone was after seemed to be utterly different than what all the love songs were about. Wasn’t there a better way?
I was thirteen years old when I caught a glimpse of a sweeter song. It was about more than butterflies and sweaty palms; more than holding hands and receiving love letters. I got a glimpse of a magnificent love story. And I wanted it.
May I share it with you?
If we want a happy and fulfilling marriage, we must know what to embrace and what to toss in the trash. Let me give you two scenarios; two songs:
- Song #1: You have a serious crush on the handsome guy who just asked you out. He’s a great looking guy. He makes you feel completely desirable. He asks you out. You say yes. You go out on Friday and Saturday nights. You go to Church together and sit by each other’s side. You hold hands. You text multiple times a day. You share the “I love you’s” and the flirtatious giggles. You reveal secrets and dreams that are in your heart. You brag to your friends about your amazing relationship. Then something changes. Maybe it’s him. Maybe it’s you. You start to drift apart. Drama starts happening. Finally after a heated phone call or venomous text messages, you call it quits. Either you are angry and hurt, or you could care less about him or his heart. Either way, it’s over. And you move on. Oooh, now that guy over there is good looking….
- Song #2: You steal glances at the couples around you. You find yourself thinking about the handsome guy a few feet away. The way he looks at you makes your heart race. He walks up to you. He asks you out. ...and you say “no.” Oh, it’s not that you don’t want to go out! You do. But somewhere past your pounding heart, you know that it isn’t time. God is teaching you so much about Him and you cannot be distracted. You want to be completely lost in His will and you know, however difficult it is now, it will be worth it down the road. You need to prepare and mature so you will be ready for the commitment and sacrifice marriage calls for. So you say “no” with a small twinge of sadness. He walks away. People look at you funny. What’s wrong with you, anyway? Years pass. Then you meet a man who is so much in love with Christ that you fall more in love with Christ too! You become friends. You learn about Him together. Then one day you both realize that you love each other and that God has led you together. He proposes. You say “YES!” And you marry your best friend and give your whole heart and untouched body to him forever.
Let me ask you, which song would you prefer? I don’t know about you, but I have had my fill of song #1. Far too many sing its empty tune and lose so much of their hearts and bodies in the process. Let me encourage you - chose the sweeter song; the song God Himself longs to sing in your ear.