Resolutions for a Momma

Happy (belated) New Year!

Currently, my hands are very full. I have a three and a half year old, an almost-two year old, and a four week old that demand my attention and my care 24/7. My heart is much more full than my hands ever could be, but my work load is, nevertheless, far from light. Entering a new year with a brand new baby, I thought long and hard about my resolutions for 2015. To be honest, it got overwhelming. My list of things I'd like to do is long. But the more I tried to make resolutions like "I will write more Thank You notes this year" and "I will finally organize that closet I keep avoiding," the Lord slowly redirected my thoughts.

I haven't blogged much at all lately and my book I have been working on for over a year is nowhere near complete. But instead of letting that make me feel like a failure and that my potential is being wasted away, I resolve to read one more book to my little boy and use the writing time I get - be it very little - to do my best. (Col. 3:17)

My hair stays in virtually one style and I'm spending these rare "me" moments writing this blog post instead of working to firm up these flabby abs. But instead of choosing to let that make me feel unattractive, I resolve to smile and put on Jesus Christ; letting Him be my beauty. (Col. 3:12-17)

In the wee morning hours while feeding my baby, I've spent more time playing on my phone than praying and meditating on God's Word. Instead of allowing myself to be caught up in distractions, I resolve to take my thoughts captive and delight in the law of the Lord. (Psalm 1:2)

I'm ashamed to say I've been ushering my kids upstairs to get them out of my hair lately. Instead of letting laziness be my boss, I resolve to play more board games, put together more puzzles, and to reach the heart of my children in 2015. (Prov. 31:28)

My nails are chipped, my laundry is endless, my kids need a bath, and I'd love to sit down with tea and book (and quiet that doesn't mean my little girl is writing on the walls again!). But instead of feeling overwhelmed, my resolution is to live joyfully. There will always messes to clean, meals to bake, events to attend, and dates to remember. There will always be a list of things to do and groceries to buy. There will always be people I will disappoint and expectations I will not meet. But no more guilt! To echo Jonathan Edwards, my resolution for 2015 is to live with all my might while I do live.

Micah 6:8
"...and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?"

May 2015 bring us close to the feet of Jesus and may our cup be full-to-the-brim of His joy!

Birth Story of Lily Eden

Things have been quite....busy (to say the least!). We welcomed our third child, our precious little girl, on December 11, 2014. Once home, I decided to take every available moment to rest and recuperate and get ready for Christmas. Now that things have settled down a bit, I would like to introduce to you, our sweet little Lily Eden.

Everything about this little one is beautiful. For me, personally, she is the perfect picture of God's grace. We didn't "plan" her. In all honesty, we wanted to wait a few years before having more children. I was scared of having more after the last one. But God, being Omniscient, knew that we needed this little girl; my "little bit of Eden" as I call her.

I was blessed with another healthy pregnancy and we were counting down the days until her due date. On December 10, at an OB appointment, my doctor and I discussed induction. I was a few days late and was experiencing a lot of pain due to Lily cuddling into my ribcage and stretching against my backbone and pelvis. Ouch. I had been dilated to 2-3 for three weeks and my cervix was extremely thin. So after weighing all the options, we decided we would go for an induction. Quite honestly, I as horrified. My birth plan did not, in any way, include induction. It did not include an epidural after having had one with my first and hating it. My plan was to go into labor - on my own - and labor naturally. As was seemingly the "theme" of Lily's pregnancy, my plans were not God's plans. :)

So on the morning of December 11, my husband and I checked into the hospital and we began pitocin shortly after 11:00 a.m.

Things began wonderfully. I immediately began to dilate and contractions were very bearable. I spent time reading, listening to music and singing, and visiting with our pastor, his wife, and my family. Around 1:30, things began to get intense and hard. Having read up on induction, I assumed I was going to be laboring all day and into the night. So, cringing, I asked for an epidural at 2:45 p.m.

One hour later, at 3:51 p.m. I saw my little girl and heard her strong cry for the first time. Once I got the epidural I, again, assumed it would be hours and hours before it was time to deliver. But it was no time at all before I felt my body try to push. I had just enough medicine to ease the pain without losing all feeling whatsoever. Four pushes brought Lily into the world and I was finally able to do something I hadn't ever been able to do with my other babies - hold them immediately. Lying there with a warm, wet, bright-eyed little girl against my skin, gripping my finger and looking up at me with her beautiful eyes took my breath away. And I kept thinking, "This is grace...this is a little bit of heaven...of Eden." :) Weighing 6 lbs, 12 ounces and 20 1/4 inches long, she was - by far - our greatest Christmas gift!

My recovery this time around has been fantastic. Lily is two weeks old and sleeping fabulously and I am feeling - almost! - like 100% again. Thank you for your prayers and all the well-wishes via Facebook. I feel so blessed reading all the encouragement and seeing all the love. I leave you with some pictures of our family of FIVE now!

first moments. can it get any more beautiful than this?

Lily Eden

our little Christmas blessing

big brother is BEYOND proud of Lily and big sister is a
"little momma"to baby "sis-soo"

Grant and I celebrated our fifth Christmas together this year.
Five years, three precious children. The Lord is so good. 

A Set-Apart Weekend and Pregnancy Update

This past weekend, I traveled to beautiful Windsor, CO for the first annual Set-Apart Motherhood conference, hosted by Leslie Ludy. It was kind of a mini Babymoon....sans the husband. :) I have wanted to attend several of the Ludy's many conferences and events in Colorado for years, so to finally have the opportunity to go was a major blessing and answer to prayer. Being 34 weeks, I was unsure if I could/should make the trip, but once I was cleared by my OB, I purchased my ticket and began planning and packing. It was an interesting experience, traveling alone in my third trimester to the mountains. I'm so thankful for good health, enough energy, and a problem-free pregnancy that allowed me to go. I came home full-to-the-brim spiritually and with a stronger vision for motherhood than I ever had before. Here are some highlights from my trip.

At Ellerslie, you would never know that you are a 10 minute walk from Windsor. It feels tucked away and secluded. Very much set apart. :) The peaceful atmosphere was beautiful.

This was my favorite view. To wake up with the dawn each morning and walk to breakfast, I saw this magnificent picture. A camera photo just can't capture the splendor. I think I stared out the window every time I was NEAR a window!

Each session was power-packed and practical. I have read many parenting books and blogs and there is an ever-present theme in our Christian culture to just take it easy and survive motherhood. The modern Christian mentality says it's normal for your spiritual life to take a back seat when you have little kids and so just be comforted that God understands you're tired, frazzled, and a complete mess. He loves you anyway. Truthfully, that's unscriptural and so I loved how each and every session was full of Biblical wisdom and commandments. Not about hanging on and surviving motherhood, but thriving - through Jesus - in your parenting and bringing heaven into your home.

The worship was worship. Growing up in music, it's always been one of the quickest ways to move me. I was anxious to hear the music from Ella Powell, but was also curious how the music and worship would be led. Let me just say, it was real worship. And I was so moved by, not only her sweet demeanor, but the songs she has written for her children, which she shared with us at the conference. And on a side note, I highly recommend the music of IrishElkMedia.com

It was a joy to see the two newest little Ludy kids! Via the Set-Apart Girl magazine, I have watched their two biological children grow and have seen the hand of God in the adoptions of their, now, four adopted children. These two little ones came from Haiti and after an intense 29 month battle to bring them home, they arrived the day before the first-ever Motherhood conference. Isn't that just like God? :)

I met Eric and Leslie Ludy once briefly, one month before my wedding when they spoke at a conference in Arkansas back in 2010. But it was an amazing honor to be in their environment and talk with two people whom the Lord has used mightily in my Christian walk. When I was a teenager and got a hold of their testimony and their love story, it opened my eyes to areas of my life that I had never fully surrendered to Christ. What a blessing to be able to thank them for being an instrument the Lord has used to change my life.

P.S. They were absolutely sweet, down-to-earth, and fun to talk to. :)

The conference ended Saturday night and I stayed over and attended the Church at Ellerslie Sunday morning. I receive each week's sermon in my inbox, but to be in the atmosphere and worship with so many like-minded people - it was a sweet little taste of Heaven on earth.

Now that I am home, I am BUSY getting ready for little miss to make her arrival. Only a few very short weeks and we will be a family of five! I'm feeling well overall. I'm uncomfortable and the pregnancy penguin waddle is slowly surfacing, but that just means it's almost over. :) After such a renewing weekend, I'm more than ready to hold my baby in my arms......right after I get the crib put together. :)

Pregnancy Update. 30 Weeks with Baby #3

30 weeks down! I cannot believe I have 10 weeks - more or less - to go! Considering both my previous children have been born at 39 weeks, I'm minorly freaking out (in a good way!). I have so much left to do but I enjoy nesting and preparing, so I am looking forward to stocking the freezer, washing newborn clothes and blankets, and taking down the itty-bitty baby gear from the attic. It's a fun and exciting busyness that definitely helps keep the nerves at bay. :)

Little miss is doing wonderful. And, albeit sometimes ungracefully, I am doing well too. Pregnancy is not a very dignified state, but it is a beautiful time that I am truly trying to cherish, even during the uncomfortable moments.

My three-year-old snapped this picture yesterday before Church.
He has a little talent, I think. :)

Some updates....

• I feel huge. I suppose every pregnant woman feels huge, especially during subsequent pregnancies. It's not an easy thing to watch your body change so drastically in less than a year. But just like the last two pregnancies, God has been faithful to remind me that His beauty is what is important. I may feel clumsy and heavy, but I have been given the blessing of growing and nurturing another life, and that is worth the sacrifice.
         
• Have I had cravings? Yep. Coconut, avocados, chocolate, nuts, grapes, and apples have been foods I find myself wanting more and more of. I've also eaten a bit more peanut butter than usual too.
         
• Tons and tons of movement! Little miss is beginning to feel a little cramped in there. I love feeling every twitch, every hiccup, and every kick. Definitely the best part of pregnancy!
     
• No swelling, glory be! Like my pregnancy with Selah, I have been drinking lots more water and taking regular Epsom salt baths, which help with swelling. I dealt with that during my pregnancy with Nathan and it.was.horrid.
     
• I've had a lot of hip, thigh, and back pain, which has made it more challenging to exercise like I want. I'm hoping chasing my kiddos from here to kingdom come makes up for it, though!
      
• I'm starting to get a little more tired each day, which is totally understandable seeing how I am growing a person inside my body while raising a preschooler and keeping up with a toddler every day. Praise the Lord for nap time, right? :) When my kiddos go down, I also have been lying down. More often than not, I pass out and get a good nap in. Sleep has become my best friend. 

Only a few more weeks left. :)

Latest News and Baby #3 Gender Reveal!

Things have been busy in my world lately. Last Friday, we dressed in pink and blue and went in for the gender reveal ultrasound for baby #3! My little boy, Nathan, was so excited when we told him he could come in and see "the cool camera that can take pictures of the baby in mommy's tummy." We gathered together in the exam room and patiently waited....and waited.

We watched as my doctor looked and checked measurements and Nathan had many questions about the weird pictures on the TV screen. :) Finally, she looked at me and said, "It looks like a girl!"

To be completely honest, I was stunned. We had been convinced this baby would be a boy. However, it's funny that upon learning I was pregnant, we immediately had a girl's name but never could decide on a boy name. God always knows. :) I am overjoyed to have another little bundle of sugar and spice to dress up and be girly with.

Two days later, I packed up and headed to Missouri with three of my sisters to speak at a Purity conference. What a joy! We had a blast and I loved meeting young girls who love Jesus and have a desire to honor Him with their lives. We spent two days there fellowshipping and digging into what God's word has to say about purity, purpose, beauty, modesty, and living a set-apart life in today's culture. It was a blessing!

Now things are settling down to normal and I am enjoying time with my little family. We have much to do in the coming months. We have baby prepping, more canning, organizing, a few trips, Church, our prison ministry, getting Nathan started with his 3K and, of course, lots of fun raising and training my little rascals.

As you live your life, don't forget to live it for the One who gave it to you. May we always be mindful of His goodness and His love.

My Summer Reading List

Jumping on the bandwagon today with my summer reading list. Motherhood leaves little time for pleasure reading but I have been trying to make it a habit to turn in a little earlier every night so I can read a bit before bed. I find that if I take time to fill my heart and mind with encouragement and Biblically based books, I am less likely to be stressed out and un-joyful! Some of these books I have already started, some I have yet to begin. But my goal is to finish them all before September. So here is my reading list for the summer.

Kohila: The Shaping of an Indian Nurse by Amy Carmichael. This is the story of Kohila, a little girl who was raised and discipled by Amy Carmichael. It is so much more than just a biography and I haven't found a book written by Amy Carmichael that I haven't devoured yet. :)

The Secret of a Woman's Influence by Joyce Rogers. I believe this book is out of print now. In 2012, I heard Joyce Rogers speak for the first time and she instantly became one of my heroes. While there, I got this book which is full of wisdom and Godly mentoring from Mrs. Rogers.

The Mom Walk: Keeping in Step With God's Heart for Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. Sally has some excellent books on motherhood and this one is no different. I've been steadily going through this one for a few weeks now and it is so very encouraging!

When You Rise Up: A Covenantal Approach to Homeschooling by R.C. Sproul Jr. If you are interested in homeschooling (or if you are a homeschool veteran!) I recommend this book. I've been very encouraged and reminded of WHY I want to homeschool my children.

Raising Godly Tomatoes by Elizabeth Krueger. I have been reading this book at a snail's pace because I don't want it to end. If I could recommend a parenting book, this would likely be the one. I love how it is full of Scripture and how it gives practical advice for raising children and enjoying it with, as the author puts it, only occasional trips to the woodshed!

The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I am very anxious to begin this book. He has been called one of the most important theologians of the twentieth century and this book came highly recommended by my uncle who holds a doctorate degree in Theology, so I am looking forward to reading it.

Red-Hot Monogamy: Making Your Marriage Sizzle by Bill & Pam Farrel. This is another book I haven't started yet, but I have heard some great things about it. Anxious to see what all the fuss is about.

Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic. I have laughed reading this book. Rachel is the mother of five children, ages five and under, including a set of twins! So she knows what she's talking about when she addresses the chaos and mayhem of raising little people.

Redeeming Childbirth: Experiencing His Presence in Pregnancy, Labor, Childbirth, and Beyond by Angie Tolpin. I told myself after I gave birth to Selah that if/when I became pregnant again, I would purchase this book. Upon my next positive pregnancy test, I went and bought it. There are just no words to describe how great this book is. This pregnancy has been different for me, emotionally, but Angie does an amazing job of taking every discomfort and fear found in pregnancy and child-rearing and bringing it all back to Jesus and His glory.

And so there is my lofty list. What are you reading this summer? Have a recommendation? I'd love to hear it!

Our 4th Anniversary and some BIG News!

Today, my man and I are celebrating our fourth wedding anniversary. It's been a wild and crazy and absolutely amazing four years! Each year has been incredibly different and special; from bringing home our Nathan just four days before our first anniversary to packing up our cozy home and moving boxes as we celebrated our third! I can honestly say that we are more in love with each other now than we ever have been before. We have gone through some pretty uncomfortable changes and have made some big life decisions in the past four years, but the Lord has used it all to strengthen and solidify our relationship. We have traveled together, taught together, fought together, and loved together. I'm very thankful to God for giving me a man that loves me no matter how bad I look in the morning, how grumpy I am in the evening, and how ridiculous I can be in between. :) I am grateful that he covers me in prayer, reads the Bible to our children, and brings us all to Church together. I'm pretty curious how much more in love I will be with him twenty years from now! Happy anniversary, love. :)

"Grow old with me....the best is yet to be."

Oh! I almost forgot, I have some news! ---actually I didn't really forget. That's pretty much impossible! ;) Earlier this month, we were given a very good and very big surprise. And I'm just itching to share it with you!

Our family is growing by two, tiny little baby feet!

That's right, I'm expecting our third child!

There's an old saying that goes, "If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans!" :) Though we had plans to eventually have more children, we were not expecting to see two little pink lines so soon. We are very thrilled and thankful that God has seen fit to touch my womb a third time and create a little life there again. Sometime in early December, we should be holding a very special - and no doubt completely adorable! - gift in our arms.

May you bask in the goodness of Jesus today and may your cup be full-to-the-brim of His joy!

our weekend in pictures + Nathan's 3rd birthday!

My little boy cannot be three years old! How did he go from this....

To this!

Saturday, we invited family and friends to our home for a fun day of fish-frying, flying kites, and jumping in the bouncy house. We played hard. :) Then yesterday, we celebrated three years with our Nathan. He has been such a joy these past three years. Our imaginative, funny, and friendly little boy who loves music and all things "supa-hee-wo!" is swiftly growing up. He has such a sweet personality and we are beginning to see the Lord working in his tender heart. Oh, I am anxious to see all the mighty things God has in store for this little boy. :) I have resolved to hold him a little more and soak up these little years. They are going by too fast.

Here is our weekend in pictures. :)

Flying kites with daddy

It was a perfect day for flying kites! We had about five or six kites going at one time :) 

Little sister and cousin T enjoying the slide

The amazing Superman cake! -- made by my sister.

Our family <3

Stay little, sweet boy. Stop growing up so fast....