The Most Important Thing We Can Learn from the Duggar Scandal

In recent years, there have been far too many Christian leaders that have fallen prey to sexual misconduct. Bill Gothard. Doug Phillips. Jimmy Swaggart. Tony Alamo. Just to name a few. Now the spotlight is on Josh Duggar, the eldest of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar's 19 children from TLC's hit show 19 Kids and Counting.

You can read the news report here and the family's official statement here.

Now, it's no secret that this family has been very active and vocal spreading both conservative and Biblical values. I have been a long-time viewer of their show and have personally been greatly encouraged as a mom and as a wife. While our convictions are not exactly the same and there are several things I disagree with, I am supportive of wholesome television and I am in agreement with their strong stand on the beauty of purity, the importance of modesty, and the dangers of hormonal birth control.

Everyone is arguing over whether or not the situation was handled correctly and there is no way that I can say that it was handled properly. In fact, if the Duggars are as deeply involved in the Quiverfull movement and in the ATI program as it appears, then no, it was not handled properly at all. But as a parent myself, both of a little boy and two little girls, I doubt I would immediately have all the answers and know exactly what to do if it were me instead. Would I put up more safeguards? Yep. Would I be diligent and watch over ALL my children more than ever, doing whatever it took to keep them all safe? No question. Without a doubt, I would hate to be in the shoes of Jim Bob and Michelle. Can you imagine being the parent of both the victims AND the offender? What a nightmare.

While I in no way condone or defend his actions or the choices his parents made, the public shaming of the whole family is incredibly wrong. One sin committed years ago does not bar you from ever living a morally upright life. In the words of my Dad, "Your past can either be a hitching post or a guide post." We don't have all the details of what exactly happened because we weren't there. God was, though. And He recorded it all. Does that excuse what happened? Certainly not! Should Josh have known better? No doubt. Molestation is wrong.

Let me say it again: Molestation is wrong. Dead wrong. Completely and utterly wrong.
I think we can agree that there is no excuse for the horrible act committed twelve years ago. But is that just cause to set fire to a family now and dance on the ashes? I don't think it is. Keep in mind that Josh Duggar's official statement reads that he made Jesus his savior upon repenting and there is no indication that he has ever done anything like this in adulthood. Hence, this happened before salvation. This is exactly the kind of thing that Paul encourages us to remember in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

Even the best of us fall prey to evil, whether that evil is big or small in the eyes of society. Nobody thought the Duggar family was perfect. At least, I didn't. But I believe there is something a little more important the Church needs to see and learn from this.

When a Christian leader falls hard into sin, the eyes of the world see and it gives them cause to mock the faith that we proclaim. That's why it's so important, no it's imperative that the people of God fortify their walls to prevent the enemy from sneaking in and destroying their home. Standards should be high! Less time should be wasted on vain pursuits and more of our time should be spent pouring over the Word of God that teaches us how to live and gives us the strength to do so. Satan wants to devour....and he does a viciously good job at it when there are breaches in our wall. 

Parents, we need to quit assuming that a good school curriculum, regular Church attendance, and firm moral rules are enough to give us godly children. We should fall on our knees every single day and wage war for the hearts of our kids, for the purity of their minds and bodies, and for the enemy to be bound from our home. Jesus promises us that kind of power, but if we're too lazy to take it, then it's our own fault.
My heart is deeply saddened by yet another horrible smear to Christianity. But what needs to stop is the ranting over what should have happened over a decade ago, and the gossip that is not only sinful, but only fuels the fire. Prayer is what this family needs. The victims, the family, Josh, and the entirety of the body of Christ - ourselves and our families included - should be brought to the holy throne of God who offers redemption and restoration.

Sorrow, Suffering and the Shepherd

This season of our lives has been one mingled with joy and sorrow. When winter's chill was deeply settled in, it forced me to be still (wrapped up in a blanket!) and truly think about all the joy that God has poured into my life. Specifically, with our newest arrival, Lily Eden. She brought a sweet peace and happiness into our home that I never knew was lacking!

But many times, joy goes hand-in-hand with sorrow. Recently, we discovered that my Momma has breast cancer. Cancer is never something the heart takes lightly and it has rattled us and scared us to the core. But - and I can only attribute this to the promises of God - peace has abounded. I honestly can't put into words the confidence that we have had in the hope of Jesus. I know that doesn't necessarily mean she will be completely or miraculously healed. But just as I know that winds howl and waves crash, I also know that these waves are still calmed by the same Voice who rebuked them 2,000 years ago. And that brings me peace.

I've recently opened up my favorite book - Hind's Feet on High Places - to read again through this trial and one portion in particular has given me such strength and calmness of spirit. If you are unfamiliar with the book's story, it's about a young girl named Much-Afraid who longs to leave the Valley of Humiliation and join the great Shepherd on the high places. Along her journey, she encounters Pride, she escapes Craven Fear, and she endures the shores of Loneliness. The Shepherd has promised to always be just a whisper away - even when she cannot see Him at all. At the beginning of the long, hard journey, she is given two companions - Sorrow and Suffering. Here is an excerpt from the book:

"I can't go with them," she gasped. "I can't! I can't! O my Lord Shepherd, why do you do this to me? How can I travel in their company? It is more than I can bear. You tell me that the mountain way itself is so steep and difficult that I cannot climb it alone. Then why, oh why, must you make Sorrow and Suffering my companions? Couldn't you have given me Joy and Peace to go with me, to strengthen me and encourage me and help me on the difficult way? I never thought you would do this to me!" And she burst into tears. 

A strange look passed over the Shepherd's face as he listened to this outburst, then looking at the veiled figures as he spoke, he answered very gently, "Joy and Peace. Are those the companions you would choose for yourself? You remember your promise, to accept the helpers that I would give, because you believed that I would choose the very best possible guides for you. Will you still trust me, Much-Afraid? Will you go with them, or do you wish to turn back to the Valley, and to all your Fearing relatives, to Craven Fear himself? 

Much-Afraid shuddered. The choice seemed terrible. Fear she knew only too well, but Sorrow and Suffering had always seemed to her the two most terrifying things which she could encounter. How could she go with them and abandon herself to their power and control? It was impossible. Then she looked at the Shepherd and suddenly she knew she could not doubt him, could not possibly turn back from following him; that if she were unfit and unable to love anyone else in the world, yet in her trembling, miserable little heart, she did love him. Even if he asked the impossible, she could not refuse. 

She looked at him piteously, then said, "Do I wish to turn back? O Shepherd, to whom should I go? In all the world I have no one but you. Help me to follow you, even though it seems impossible. Help me to trust you as much as I long to love you." 

As he heard these words the Shepherd suddenly lifted his head and laughed - a laugh full of exultation and triumph and delight.... Then he added, "Fear not, Much-Afraid, only believe. I promise that you shall not be put to shame. Go with Sorrow and Suffering, and if you cannot welcome them now, when you come to the difficult places where you cannot manage alone, put your hands in theirs confidently and they will take you exactly where I want you to go." 

Much-Afraid stood quite still, looking up into his face, which now had such a happy, exultant look, the look of one who above all things else delights in saving and delivering...

"Others have gone this way before me," she thought., "and they could even sing about it afterwards. Will he who is so strong and gentle be less faithful and gracious to me, weak and cowardly though I am, when it is so obvious that the thing he delights in most of all is to deliver his followers from all their fears and to take them to the High Places?" 

Each time I read this, I can't help but love Jesus more. He hears my heart when I cannot speak. He's not overwhelmed by me or my fears. He's not turned off by my neediness. He doesn't get exasperated by my crying over things that are nothing more than a mosquito bite in His eyes. He's just there, gently calling me higher, even through mist, loneliness, howling storms, or my own human cripplings. 

There is so much freedom in that. So much peace.

I ask for your prayers for my family - especially my sweet Momma. The waves and winds still know the Voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

What to Expect From 50 Shades of Grey

It's 3 A.M. and I just fed my little one and laid that sweet little bundle of cuteness back in her bed. As a mother of three young children, I should be reveling in the sweet sleep that isn't offered to me that often. Instead, however, I'm here with a heavy heart.

This Friday history will be made as millions will flock to the cinemas to see the most sexually explicit R-rated film to date. Waving the banner of romance, this counterfeit love story will beat its way into the hearts and minds of women and men all over the country. It doesn't surprise me much that millions will see this movie. The Word tells us that in the last days there will be a huge moral decline. What does bother me are the scores of professed Christian women not only eager to watch this film, but who are defending it with a passion. A passion that scares me. That is why this wife and mommy is up at 3 A.M.

I can't stop anyone from reading these books or seeing the movie. I can give plenty of reasons why it should be avoided at all costs but, in the end, we all make our own choices. But let me tell you what you should expect if you do decide to stroll into the theater with your popcorn and soda.

1. Expect your marriage to be affected. Many women have defended 50 Shades by saying that their sex life with their husband has become more exciting as a result of reading this series. Tell me, at what point in your Christian walk did it become acceptable to indulge in pornogrphy in order to make your love life more exhilarating? Quite honestly, my sex life with my husband is satisfying enough without the aid of provocative books, magazines, or movies. Maybe after viewing this movie you will come home eager to jump into the arms of your husband but. let me be frank, it's no different than your husband viewing pornography in order to get his engine running before he jumps into your arms. Same thing, just a different vehicle. The sinful relationship between an unmarried couple should not be the example a Christian married couple follows. If you soak up 50 Shades, sister, you can expect a change in your marriage. It may very well begin with a bedroom romp, but as is the time-tested result of pornography, soon it won't be enough. Slowly, but most assuredly, you will tear down your marriage brick by brick.
   
   Hebrews 13:4
   Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
                   
2. Expect your walk with Christ to be infected. Somehow, in all the comments I have read from professing women of the faith, I have seen a defiant defense of this series instead of a sobering and passionate call to purity and honor. Have we lost all respect and thankfulness for our Savior that we would spit in His blood like this? Have we no shame at all in being entertained by the very evil that He died to set us free from? If you open your heart and welcome Christian Grey in, expect Christ to be far from you. We can either choose the lust and bondage of Mr. Grey, or we can choose the love, the purity, and the freedom in Christ. We can't have it both ways. That's just a fact.
   
   Matthew 6:24
   No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

My heart has trembled and my eyes have cried sitting and watching my sisters handcuffed to this series. I'm raising my children in a world where evil isn't lurking in the dark alleyways anymore, but paraded down the Church aisle. But y'all...

I love my daughters too much to allow them to be taught that the relationship between Christian and Ana is a healthy, loving relationship; that bondage, humiliation, degradation, and punishment are ingredients in a love story. I want them to revel in the freedom of truth and be able to walk confidently in the knowledge that Jesus is the picture of what love really is.

I love my son too much not to shield him from a world that will tell him that porn is normal and healthy. I don't want him indoctrinated by Hollywood, I want him instructed in righteousness. I love my children enough to introduce them, not to E.L. James, but to the Author of real love. And, God help me, I'm going to fight garbage like this for the sake of my children's purity until my dying day.

I love my husband too much to allow myself to be swept off my emotional feet by a fictional character. Frankly, as a young woman married five years with three children, I am plenty satisfied in my marital bed. I don't need a supplement that my enemy can use to plant seeds of discontentment in my heart. I have too much respect for my God-fearing, hard working, adoring husband to even begin to compare him with a sadist who has no concept of real love, commitment and sacrifice.

Finally, I love my God too much to disobey Him. If He says to steer clear of the things that drive a wedge between us, then I have to obey. There is no part of me that wants to shove His grace into the sewer and gobble up poison. I love Him enough to believe that He will bless the ones who walk in His ways, and judge what is wicked.

To those of you on the front lines of purity and righteousness, I'm wielding my sword with you. It's the casualties of this war that has me up at 3 A.M. but, nevertheless, it is a comfort to know that when it's all said and done, we win the battle. That's a mighty good thing we can expect.

The Secret to a Fulfilled Life

When a couple is in love, they want to spend every waking moment with each other. They talk constantly. They share the details of their life with one another, and they are overjoyed to simply be a special part of each other’s life. 

Now for the tough question:

Does our heart delight in the Lord?

Marriage is only a reflection of the spiritual relationship God longs to have with us. Anything we could ever desire in an earthly relationship, we already have offered to us in the Lord. We naturally desire to be pursued, understood, taken care of, protected, and loved with a dependable love. These desires were created in us by God, but we are quick to doubt that He is able to fulfill every one of our desires completely.

Even the best marriages will still include moments of loneliness and heartache. The same basic struggles that singles have are often found in marriage too. Married women often admit to feeling alone and unfulfilled, even those that are financially secure with a thriving career. Why is that?

Just as God created us to long for love and peace, He also created a void within us that only He can fill.

The psalmist, David, wrote: Delight thyself also in the LORD: and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (Psalm 37:4)

If you are familiar with that verse, I’m sure you have heard the commonly used paraphrase: Love the Lord and He will give you what you want.

That definition sounds appealing, especially when you are lonely and ready for a romance, but that is not at all what this Scripture is saying.

What does it mean to “delight” in the Lord? That’s pretty unusual terminology when the subject is spiritual. To delight in someone means you take great joy and pleasure in them. It means to be caught up with excitement and satisfaction with the one in whom you’re delighting in.

Simply loving the Lord does not mean that we will have an easy, comfortable life with material possessions and perfect relationships. If we are not ultimately content in the person of our Savior, we will never be content, even with an earthly relationship or with all the money in the world at our disposal. No amount of gifts, love letters, or tender expressions can fully satisfy us because we were created to delight, first, in Christ Jesus. The more we rejoice in Him and find our fulfillment in Him, the more our heart’s desires will merge with His. If we fall in love with Jesus, the cravings of our flesh and the longings for other, earthly things will diminish because our satisfaction is firmly rooted in the love of Jesus. It is only through this Heavenly romance that we can be fully fulfilled by our earthly spouse.

 (excerpted from my upcoming book)

Pro-Life and on The Pill

photo credit

Before my husband and I married, I had it set in my mind that I wanted to wait at least a year or two before having children. My reasons made sense:

• It would give us both time to adjust to marriage without the added stress and change of a baby.
      
• It would allow me to keep my figure for a while longer.
     
• It would give me continued freedom before the responsibility of children consumed my time.
      
• It would let us build up our savings.

Reasons can always be found to justify not having children. But about two weeks into our marriage, however, we both felt it impressed on our heart to let God do what He wanted to do regarding our family. I got off the pill and, actually, assumed it would take months and months, if not a year, to get pregnant. I mean, some couples try for eons before it happens. Little did we know that in just two months, God would knit together a little boy in my womb.

After Nathan was born, Grant and I understood why God calls children a blessing. We were so in love with this little person and wanted to have another soon after. Because of a minor health issue, however, I was kind of forced to get back on the pill for a few months. Once things were cleared, I got off the pill and we began trying for another child. It took four months before Selah was conceived and we were overjoyed when we finally saw those two little pink lines!

Those of you who have followed this blog know the struggle I faced after Selah was born. PPD hit me hard and I became terrified of conceiving again. So much so that against my better judgement, I got back on the pill for the third time. Then something happened. You see, for years I had heard people say, "Let God determine the size of your family." and I was supportive of that. In essence, I completely agreed. I love my big family and I'm a fan of the Duggars. But I made excuses for my own fertility:

• God also gives us a brain to make our choices.
     
• If I have too many children, I'll only be a stressed out, overly tired woman.
      
• God is bigger than birth control. I mean, some women can actually still get pregnant while on it...

That last reason was what led my husband and I to study oral contraception and how it really works. This is what we learned:

1. Plan A: The pill tricks the body into thinking it's already pregnant so the body will not ovulate. (totally sounds unhealthy, eh?) This is called suppression of ovulation.
       
2. Plan B: Many times, plan A does not work (they don't tell us this) and a thing called breakthrough ovulation occurs where the body ovulates anyway. If this happens, as it often does according to research, plan B comes into place where a barrier of thicker, cervical mucus is created between the sperm and the egg, preventing conception from happening.
       
3. Plan C: The first two plans sound, at worst, unnatural, but there isn't really much of a danger, right? Now comes plan C. Just like breakthrough ovulation occurs quite frequently, the sperm and the egg can still meet, regardless of plan B. When the sperm and egg come together, life begins. At this point, the little baby goes to attach itself to the uterus. How does plan C work? The synthetic hormones in the pill create a shield over the uterus, preventing implantation. To put it bluntly, it blocks the life from its life source, thus suffocating the baby to death. At this point, a woman usually begins her cycle and many times, what is thought and believed to be a normal menstrual period is the body flushing out an aborted life. 

    

Learning the truth left us horrified and I immediately got off the pill. This time, for good. Fast forward to the present. Now I am 18 weeks pregnant with our third child. In December, I will have three children - 3 years old and under! Some call that irresponsible. Others call it lunacy. But I am so comforted by the words of God in Psalm 127 that calls children a blessing, a reward, and a heritage. Am I nervous? Yes. Overwhelmed? I am. But I also know that it wasn't simply our choice to be on or off birth control that this little one was conceived. Every life is created and ordained by God. Every conception is done by His will, not ours. Whether we like it or not, we really aren't in control of creating life. God is. And each life He creates has a purpose.

I want to encourage you today to spend time in prayer with the Lord, and to ask Him what you should do with your fertility, your family, and your future.

"Set-Apart Motherhood" review

When I was asked to write a review for Leslie Ludy's new book, "Set-Apart Motherhood: Reflecting Joy and Beauty in Family Life" I jumped at the chance. Having been a long-time follower of the Ludy ministry, I had confidence that this book would be just as spiritually enriching as the others. I was right. :)

If you are a mommy, may I just flat-out tell you to go buy yourself this book? You will be encouraged, challenged, and find such a bigger vision for your calling as a mother than simply being a chauffeur, nurse, and chef. :) 

My review as posted on Amazon, CBD, and GoodReads:

As a mom of two little ones (and another on the way), I have been hungry for a book that would give me more than a “go-easy-on-yourself” attitude towards motherhood. There is a great need for books that offer more than a watered down, spiritually lazy approach to mothering. As one who has been greatly impacted by the ministry of Leslie and Eric Ludy, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on this book. And it did not disappoint! Leslie challenged me with a higher call for Godly motherhood far beyond what I could ever envision for myself. Set-Apart Motherhood is filled with humorous experiences and stories that I can relate to, as well as a powerful call for all Moms to walk in the strength and joy of the Lord, even (and especially!) on the hard days when your flesh is screaming to call it quits.

I love how Leslie encourages the reader with practical ways to apply Biblical truths. Each chapter, from “Getting Beyond the Frazzle” (a chapter I desperately needed!) to “Tensile Strength Training” (very convicting for me) encouraged me and gave me some spiritual “oomph!” on those days when I felt completely drained from all the responsibilities that come with raising little people. But by far, her focus on reaching the heart and soul of our kids reminded me of WHY God made me a mother. In the chapter “Tending to Their Souls,” Leslie writes, “….it is your privilege to have every one of your children saved. But it costs something to have them saved. It costs your spending much time alone with God, to be much in prayer, and it costs also your making those sacrifices and straightening out those things in your life that are wrong….Let us not fail to make the eternal salvation of our children the highest priority of our parenting, and make whatever personal sacrifices necessary in order to lead them to Christ.”

That is what it is all about. I cannot praise this book enough and highly recommend it to any and all mothers who desire to raise their children for God’s glory.

To pre-order your copy, go to Amazon.com or CBD.com.

If you are interested in attending Leslie's Set-Apart Motherhood conference September 12-13 in Colorado, head on over to SetApartMotherhood.com to register! :)

My Summer Reading List

Jumping on the bandwagon today with my summer reading list. Motherhood leaves little time for pleasure reading but I have been trying to make it a habit to turn in a little earlier every night so I can read a bit before bed. I find that if I take time to fill my heart and mind with encouragement and Biblically based books, I am less likely to be stressed out and un-joyful! Some of these books I have already started, some I have yet to begin. But my goal is to finish them all before September. So here is my reading list for the summer.

Kohila: The Shaping of an Indian Nurse by Amy Carmichael. This is the story of Kohila, a little girl who was raised and discipled by Amy Carmichael. It is so much more than just a biography and I haven't found a book written by Amy Carmichael that I haven't devoured yet. :)

The Secret of a Woman's Influence by Joyce Rogers. I believe this book is out of print now. In 2012, I heard Joyce Rogers speak for the first time and she instantly became one of my heroes. While there, I got this book which is full of wisdom and Godly mentoring from Mrs. Rogers.

The Mom Walk: Keeping in Step With God's Heart for Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. Sally has some excellent books on motherhood and this one is no different. I've been steadily going through this one for a few weeks now and it is so very encouraging!

When You Rise Up: A Covenantal Approach to Homeschooling by R.C. Sproul Jr. If you are interested in homeschooling (or if you are a homeschool veteran!) I recommend this book. I've been very encouraged and reminded of WHY I want to homeschool my children.

Raising Godly Tomatoes by Elizabeth Krueger. I have been reading this book at a snail's pace because I don't want it to end. If I could recommend a parenting book, this would likely be the one. I love how it is full of Scripture and how it gives practical advice for raising children and enjoying it with, as the author puts it, only occasional trips to the woodshed!

The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I am very anxious to begin this book. He has been called one of the most important theologians of the twentieth century and this book came highly recommended by my uncle who holds a doctorate degree in Theology, so I am looking forward to reading it.

Red-Hot Monogamy: Making Your Marriage Sizzle by Bill & Pam Farrel. This is another book I haven't started yet, but I have heard some great things about it. Anxious to see what all the fuss is about.

Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic. I have laughed reading this book. Rachel is the mother of five children, ages five and under, including a set of twins! So she knows what she's talking about when she addresses the chaos and mayhem of raising little people.

Redeeming Childbirth: Experiencing His Presence in Pregnancy, Labor, Childbirth, and Beyond by Angie Tolpin. I told myself after I gave birth to Selah that if/when I became pregnant again, I would purchase this book. Upon my next positive pregnancy test, I went and bought it. There are just no words to describe how great this book is. This pregnancy has been different for me, emotionally, but Angie does an amazing job of taking every discomfort and fear found in pregnancy and child-rearing and bringing it all back to Jesus and His glory.

And so there is my lofty list. What are you reading this summer? Have a recommendation? I'd love to hear it!

To Those in Search of Greener Pastures

By the world's definition, I grew up a good girl. I was still a sinner, saved by grace, but I was what they call a goody-goody. I spent my years on one side of the fence watching people in my life straddle it, then finally jump to the other side. Some dabbled in the occult. Some turned to a homosexual lifestyle. Many had babies before husbands. A few acquired STDs. A handful left Church altogether while more than I can count waved the banner of Christianity while blatantly living in open sin.

I watched. And there was a long period where I was angry; so angry in fact that I let my anger override my passion to the point where I was overly harsh.

I don't remember the day. I just remember falling on my knees one afternoon asking God to give me a broken heart. I was tired of being angry at those who spat in the blood that saved me. I was tired of debating and trying to prove that God's way is always the best way. Being angry about it wasn't changing anything. So I didn't want it to make me angry anymore. Instead, I wanted it to break my heart into pieces. God answered that prayer. I still get angry, but just as quickly, I find myself a teary-eyed mess hurting over them rather than being outraged. You see, all we ever really need is Jesus. Just a full-fledged encounter with His holiness. *** I would love for you to truly know Him as I know Him. You can click here to find out how.

You might be dabbling in sin; rejecting the authority of Scripture; refusing to run into the open arms of Christ. If so, I want to say something to those of you on the other side of the fence:

It's not greener over there.

It's fun, no doubt. I can see that by the Instagram pictures and the Facebook posts. It's busy and full and I can tell that there is always a party going on somewhere. There's plenty of people to rally behind you no matter what decision you make. Life is about being happy. Life is about you. But friend, may I please share the truth with you? That grass isn't green.

Truthfully, it it is easy to live the way you want. No effort has to be put in doing things your way. It's easy to let your Bible collect dust on the shelf while you allow yourself to be swept away with the mentality that life is simply about finding greener pastures (instead of watering your own). You don't have to work too hard to go to one experience, one high, or one love after another. But if I may tell you the honest truth, just because it's easier doesn't mean it's going to make you happy or satisfied in any area of your life. There are no other greener pastures outside the will of God. It's only green where He is.

I'm a stubborn sheep. Honestly, I am obnoxious and loud and willfully disobedient. My Shepherd has had to use His staff numerous times to break me and bring me back into the safety of His will. And because of that, I can say with all gratefulness and satisfaction that the Lord has been good to me. He has taken care of me. I have never lacked for anything. He has blessed me with a peace I can't put into words.

Are you searching for greener pastures? Are you tired of doing things your way? Are you going from one thing to the next in order to fill that hole inside? Is it not exhausting to try and try to find rest for your heart.... to no avail?

Friend, run to Jesus; the One who offers rest and whose burden is light. Follow His footsteps, obey His voice, and friend, your grass will be green.

What God says is best, is best, though all the men in the world are against it. - John Bunyan

Blessings. Have We Got It All Wrong?

Since the building of our home, people have said things like...

"Oh, you're so blessed!"

"What a great blessing!"

"Wow, God has blessed you so much!"

And it's true. The home is a blessing and one, no doubt, given by God. My car is a blessing. Having enough food is a blessing. Our two healthy children is a blessing. Sometimes I sit and want to cry because I know we don't deserve such good gifts like this, yet God saw fit to give them to us anyway. It's incredibly humbling. 

But I've had this one permeating thought for weeks now: Have we got it all wrong?

People mean well when they say what they do, but I can't help but wonder if we have the term "blessings" and its definition completely backwards.

See, I grew up in a drafty 100-year-old farm house that occasionally leaked and wasn't fully insulated. I remember cold winter mornings when we huddled by the fire that my parents had gotten up early to build. When I was small, I remember being told "no" to various toys and candy in the stores, not just because my parents didn't want me to be spoiled, but simply because they couldn't afford to splurge on a $2 bag of assorted chocolate. My most memorable Christmas as a child was when my only gifts were a set of two remote-controlled race cars and a jumbo pack of my favorite juice. You know what, though? It was a blessing. And I wouldn't trade it for anything. I still remember my Dad and I sipping juice on the living room floor as we raced our cars. They raised us in a home that may have been cold in the winter and hot in the summer, but it was a home full of love, laughter, and Jesus. And that makes them the richest people I know.

Things like that....the lack of things, I mean.... they are blessings.

Now don't get me wrong. There is nothing the matter with having a comfortable home or being able to pay your bills. That's not what I'm saying. I'm simply asking the question, do we have it all wrong?

What about those who don't drive new cars?  

What about the families who have more than one child with some sort of disability? 

Those who seriously struggle to pay their bills?

The people who are suffering with constant or life-threatening health issues?

What about that? Are they "less blessed" than others? 

In my opinion, sometimes it is those very people who are far richer in ways that count. It's good to be blessed with difficulty. And isn't it FIRE that refines? Isn't it heat that melts and makes soft and enables something to be molded? I'm not saying everybody should try and be sick or poor, because Scripture proves that God uses all things and all circumstances. He uses the poor, the rich, the sick, the healthy, even the dead! I'm simply saying that I believe everything is a blessing, not just the easy or the pretty things.

One of my friends and I were chatting about this recently and she said, "The heavenly blessings are often more through the fire, but THEY are the ones that are refined to gold. Yet somehow we fail to mention or recognize them most of the time."

So true. 

I am deeply grateful to God for the blessing of a new home. But I also know that whatever He gives is not mine. It's His and should be used for His work. Along with that, I am also grateful to God for each and every physically uncomfortable circumstance because it reminds me not to set my affections on things here on earth or to place my treasure on material niceties, but to point myself to my home where Jesus is. If all was taken away, His name is still to be blessed and praised.  

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights 

Are what it takes to know You're near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

God Never Changes

Saturday, I took the kids out for a walk. We gathered pine cones and I tried to explain to Nathan why the leaves are red, orange, and yellow. I dearly love Autumn.

Every year, when I see the leaves turn beautiful colors and I feel the cool air, I think about change.

Change has never been my favorite thing. I don't like my world being turned upside down. I have never liked it when the path I'm happily walking along suddenly makes a sharp right turn. It makes me uncomfortable and nervous. I actually try to avoid change at all costs.

But this year I am beginning to not only understand why things change, I think I'm starting to like it. And here's why.

It makes me run to Somebody who never changes.

Jesus. :)

One of my favorite verses is Malachi 3:6 where God makes a resounding statement and says, "For I am the LORD; I change not...."

Does that flood your heart with peace?! It does me.

Because everything else changes. If you are a woman reading this, you know what I'm sayin'! I'm sure you have experienced a myriad of crazy emotions since your alarm went off this morning. My world has changed a lot in the past five years. I'm not the same person I was a year ago. The place where I grew up looks different now than when I was a child. My parents look different. My sisters are growing up. My children change every single day! The seasons change and I am changing right along with it. And although it freaks me out, I know that change and growth is a good thing. Just like the leaves turn, die, and fall to the ground, they do it because something new is on the way. And in a few months, we will see beautiful, luscious, green life everywhere! It's the same with us.

Today I am resting in the knowledge that in the midst of all the crazy and chaotic hustle and bustle of life, there is a place of quiet stillness that never changes. There's security in that. I'm thankful for an unchanging God, aren't you?

Christians and Halloween

This morning, I logged on to Facebook and I saw the excited display of costumes, gearing up for Halloween tomorrow. Along with the cute kittens, princesses, and cowboys, were the usual vampires, witches, ghosts, and grim reapers.

Last week I walked into yet another store where I was hit in the face with skulls and crossbones and zombies and other evil images.

I passed by a house just last night that was fully decorated with spider webs, gaulish faces, and dimly lit orange and black lights around the jack-o-lanterns on the doorstep.

For the last three weeks, I have been closely monitoring every cartoon on TV and finally turned it off altogether.

It's everywhere. 

photo credit

Scripture says that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all (1 John 1:5), so then why do Christians gravitate towards darkness with, what looks like, intense excitement and anticipation? If God sent His Son to save the world from sin, why do those who profess to be redeemed participate in things that are rooted in sin? Could it be that we love darkness more than we love the light? (John 3:19-21)

Among the insane amount of money spent on decorations, costumes, candy, and scary movies, many Christians justify and rationalize Halloween in spite of its occultic heritage. Even when the truth is shared, today's Church culture pleads away and excuses the origins because, well, heaven forbid we become legalistic, right? Friends, it's not about being legalistic. It's about being obedient, holy, and set-apart.

1 Peter 2:9
But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light; 

Every year, it seems as though people are more excited about this time of year. The horror movies attract the millions. There is a growing fascination with zombies, vampires, haunted houses, witches, blood, and darkness of every kind. The television shows and blockbuster hits are more sinister. Halloween is the second largest holiday in America, even surpassing - of all things - Thanksgiving. For some, Halloween is just an innocent holiday where we dress our children up, have parties, get candy, and carve pumpkins. For our family, it's not. And try as I might, I just can't understand why Christians love it so much. The origin is pagan and we see nothing to redeem in Halloween. We could try to carve crosses into our pumpkins but the origin is still the same. The carved and illuminated faces served as a signal to mark the homes that were sympathetic to the Satanists. We could only dress up our children an sweet little angels or shepherds but we would still be observing the tradition of wearing masks and costumes like those who did it to trick the evil spirits. We could stand at our door passing out Gospel tracts with our candy, but we would still be participating in an activity that is rooted in paganism. Don't get me wrong. If the Lord leads you to use this time of year to spread His Word, DO IT! But don't mix light with darkness. From the very beginning, God made a distinct separation between darkness and light. (Genesis 1:4) That same line of separation should be clearly evident in the life of every born again Christian.

It's really difficult for me to see how flippantly we toss aside a truth when it hits on something we like. My heart breaks for this world that is consumed with evil and gruesome images that have clearly desensitized us to the Words of our Father. Please hear me, friends, when I say, you can't join hands with pagans and occultists and attempt to Christianize satanism. It just can't be done. You can't have two masters or serve two separate deities. You cannot define yourself as a Christian and yet rationalize the mingling of light with darkness.

And That Changes My Life

"The God who created, names, and numbers the stars in the heavens 

also numbers the stars of my head. 

He pays attention to very big things and to very small ones. 

What matters to me matters to Him, and that changes my life."

Elisabeth Elliot

Not My Will, But Yours

Today I am thrilled about this beautiful post, written by one of my dearest friends. I am so encouraged by her life and her passion for living for Christ. Today, she encourages us to trust the Lord's will for our lives.

Not my will, but Yours. Ever find yourself saying those words? I've said them often, fully believing I was ready for it. But...in the last 2.5 years I've learned a LOT about what it really means. You see, I'm the type that wants to plan for everything. Before the last 2.5 years I had everything planned out exactly. If you wanted to do something with me, then you needed to contact me at least a week...probably two...in advance. Not because I was terribly busy...I just wanted everything planned out. I did not handle ambiguity well at all, and spontaneity – it was just a word in a dictionary to me as I did not partake in it at all.

The end of 2011 was the beginning of the end of that, however! I was being courted by a guy who was my best friend. Shortly after Christmas, my Dad said yes. I knew it, because Dad had handed Ben one word written on a 3x5 card: “Yes.” (I still have that card!) I had it in my head that Ben would THEN go by a ring and ask me in 3 months...when he came back from the Coast Guard Academy for Spring Break. But the next morning after Ben was given permission, my Mom was acting strangely before Ben and I went to the top of a mountain top for the day. “Sarah, don't you want to take a shower before you go? Sarah, don't you want to put on a nicer pair of pants? Sarah, I'll do your hair for you!” On the top of the mountain, Ben proposed and I said yes. Several times. But it set off a chain of events that is forever changing my life. In the next month we moved our wedding from 12 months away, to 5 months away. I worried that I couldn't get everything done. Everything went smoothly, thanks to my Mom and some awesome friends who helped and it was one of the best days of my lives. After the wedding, I thought everything was going to go back to neatly planned out and perfectly organized. But it was not my will, my plans, or my perfect organized life that I would meet shortly thereafter. It was His.

It started out with my surprise pregnancy. I was thrilled, but totally unprepared. I got pregnant on our honeymoon. We wanted kids fairly soon...but we were thinking more down the road of having this happen like a year after marriage. Cue the thoughts of panic, excitement, worry, and joy. For the next 9 months we lived in a whirl of excitement getting ready for our baby...but that wasn't all! My husband is a Coast Guard officer. The Coast Guard motto is “Always Ready Always Prepared” and I got an excellent dose of that real quick. A bag lived by our bedroom door pretty much always packed in case Ben got called away or went on a semi-scheduled patrol. When he left, I never knew for sure how long it was going to be. A day? 3 days? A week? Two weeks? A month? If we wanted to do something on the times where he was home, it was always spontaneous because we had no real plan or schedule. We had the times when he was home...and when he wasn't. The first year, I called my mom in tears many times because I didn't have a plan. Because I didn't know what was going to happen. I wasn't trusting God with what was going on, and at times I was completely miserable.

Since then we've had many things happen that I have had to learn how to let go of and let God handle. Planned and unplanned Coast Guard patrols. Moves and transfers from one coast to the other. Pregnancies, birth and miscarriage – all the hopes, joys, and sorrow that envelope those. Job schedules, and the life of being a wife and a mother. So little of it can I plan...I just have to trust God that He will work His will and it will be right for us. I still like to plan. I get downright giddy if I can plan something in advance and it actually happens! And lack of planning still stresses me out at times. But with His help, I'm learning to relax, go with the flow, and even enjoy spontaneity. And I've learned some of what it truly means that it is not my will, but God's will. He is the Author of all....and I need to let go and let Him have the pen in my life. It's easy to say the words, but it's another to live it. But as we live it, I truly believe that He grants us a peace and joy that we don't have otherwise. It's a hard lesson to learn, but it's 100% worth it.

“A man's heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 (NKJV)

Sarah is a wife to a Coast Guard officer, and a mother to an energetic 1-year-old little boy. She strives to serve her Lord and King, and be a good wife and mother. She loves photography, reading, cooking, exploring, and hiking and has a passion for purity as well as learning about healthy living and eating. Most often you will find her thoroughly enjoying time with her husband and son or making messes in the kitchen.

When Men of God Pass Away

Early this morning, one of the greatest men I have ever had the privilege to know passed from this world into eternity and saw Jesus face to face.

My spirit rejoices. But my heart is breaking.

Bro. Jack David Daniels grew up living up to his name - Jack Daniels. At the early age of 35, he was a drug addict and alcoholic and in the hospital with a swollen liver. Then on July 4, 1982, he found Jesus and surrendered his life to Him. His motto became "From the Bottle to the Bible." It wasn't long before he was called to preach and he spent the last years of his life traveling all over the world leading thousands to Christ.

I met Bro. Jack about six years ago and I have never seen God work through a man like He did Bro. Jack. He became an instant friend to my family. We toured together. We did revivals together. We traveled to Israel together. And he help officiate my husband's and my wedding.




at Niagara Falls, 2007

at our wedding, April 17, 2010

with my husband and my Dad in Israel

with my husband, Grant, on the Sea of Galilee

holding our son, Nathan

I will miss Bro. Jack. Today, Heaven is rejoicing and he joined the cloud of witnesses gathered to watch us continue to run our race here on earth.

As I watch great men of God steadily pass away, my mommy heart trembles with fear. I have been blessed to know great men of God and sit under their preaching. But they won't all live forever. Today is proof of that. And I am left to wonder, who will be the Bro. Jack to my children?? Will they even know strong men of God who are unmovable in their faith and who stand firm upon the Word? Will they hear old-time preaching? Will they experience great revivals? Or will they be left with compromising, shallow, and watered-down leaders in the contemporary Church? Will all they have be the Emergent Church belief system that plays to the flesh and is doctrinally flawed? I pray to God that there will be someone who steps up and fills the shoes of men like Bro. Jack so my children can have what I had.

Please keep the Daniels family in your prayers. If you have ever lost a loved one, then you can sympathize with what they are going through. Though we rejoice that we will see him again, our hearts are heavy that we are left here without their presence. So lift them up. And pray for the generations to come who will never know or hear the preaching of this great man.

"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints." (Psalms 116:15 KJV)

You can visit Jack Daniels Ministries to order his sermons on CD.

Bibles and Bible Apps || Your Legacy

The Wal-Mart check out line was long. Very long. So as I waited, I took out my cell phone and pulled up my Bible app. And I read a bit.

I love that I am able to do that.

That's the new thing these days. The smart Bible; the Bible on your tablet or iPhone. And I for one enjoy having the Bible on me 24/7. If I need to look up a Scripture, I take it out of my pocket. If I want to wash dishes and listen, I turn it on. If I'm watching my little boy play outside, I can touch and read while I sit. It's great and I am very thankful that it is available to us! But I love my real Bible. My open-it-up-and-flip-through-the-pages Bible. And though my Bible app is very cool, my real Bible is something much more than cool.

My Dad's Bible is one of my most favorite things to look at. Truly. He has had the same Bible for over 30 years. He has preached from it and has taken it with him everywhere - on many overseas trips. I love looking at the faded pages, the highlighted verses, the markings on the sides, the sermon notes scattered everywhere. I love it. It's a treasure. It's a legacy.

My Bible isn't as used as my Dad's 30+-year-old one, but it is special to me. Inside the front cover, I have a picture of myself and my husband, a picture of our two children, a picture of my grandfather, and two quotes that bless me every time I read them. I have dozens of verses highlighted and I have little notes scattered here and there when a certain passage speaks to me in that moment.

Oddly enough, I like secondhand books. I have several devotionals in my possession that once belonged to someone I've never met. And I love seeing their thoughts and prayers written in the corners of those devotionals. In my own books, I like to highlight and scribble and make markings on the pages of a book that has woven its way into my heart. This story encouraged me. This quote inspired me. This chapter convicted me. If I don't mark it down, I will most likely forget the moment. In the Bible, the Israelites would build an alter where God did a work. My Bible's scribbles are my alters. They are special places in my spiritual walk with the Lord. And that's something that cannot be done on a Bible app. Now, I love the convenience of the all the different study tools available at the touch of a finger, but not for one moment do I want convenience to take the place of my leather bound Bible.

We live in a very technological age. Everything is convenient and quick. We don't write old fashioned letters anymore, we e-mail or Facebook. We rarely journal. We blog. We buy our books via Kindle. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with technology. But sometimes I think we miss the beauty and power of holding a Bible in our hands, having it in our bags, and carrying it with us wherever we do. Like we carry our phones. Though God's Word is the same and just as powerful whether you are turning pages or touching screens, there's just something about holding a real Bible.

To me, anyway.

Just like my Dad's old Bible is beautiful in my eyes, I deeply desire my children to look at my Bible - not my iPhone - as a beautiful treasure one day. I pray that they can see places where I have knelt before God and surrendered to His will or where I have praised Him for being faithful and worthy. I pray as they turn the pages, they see a passionate, intimate love for Christ that makes them want to fall in love with His written word too.

That's what it's all about anyway. Loving Jesus and leaving a legacy for your children.