I'm like that sometimes.
Okay, a lot. I'm like that a lot.
Parenthood is a war. The raising and training up of little souls is the greatest fight we will ever engage in. And if we expect to win, we can't be twirling around, lost in our own little world. We have to be in the trenches. With loaded guns. Alert. And ready to charge and defend and protect our family.
Is it just me or does that sound overwhelmingly....overwhelming?
Sometimes I'm on my game and I am ready to go to battle. Other times, I just sit and look around at all the casualties of the war and feel hopeless. Is it even possible to win when we're up against an army this vicious? This blood thirsty? Of this magnitude?
The last several weeks, I have been incredibly sensitive and weepy (no, I am not pregnant. I know that's what you were thinking). I've been overwhelmed by the world. I've even felt defeated. And oh I have been so broken. The sanctity of life and of marriage is being debated amongst the Church. Following the commands of God has been replaced with opinions, following your heart, and personal agendas. Righteous and pure living is so completely foreign these days that it absolutely terrifies me.
And I've thought: How am I supposed to do this??
How am I supposed to raise up children who love the Lord with all their being when the majority of Church people ride the fence?
How can I win their hearts when my competition has bright lights and plenty of pizzazz?
How can I shield them from perversion and protect their innocence when kids are getting pregnant before they get their driver's licence?
How will I convince my baby girl that there are men out there who will protect her purity and love her like Christ when women are nothing more than a chunk of sultry and independent meat up for grabs?
How am I supposed to guide my son towards integrity and purity when we live in a world where we are slammed in the face with perversion and pornography?
We have an enemy that wants to claim the little souls of our children. And it scares me. So this morning, I opened my Bible, praying for some kind of encouragement that would give me the grit I need to get back into the war. I turned to Psalm 3, one of my family's favorite Psalms. Oh what a fire and a blessing it gave me!
"Lord, how are they increased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me. (so fitting....) Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. Selah. (don't you just feel the world whispering this all around you?) But thou, O Lord, (oh yes.....only You, God) art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head. (protected....raised up...) I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah. (heard. oh, isn't it a comfort to know that your cry is HEARD??) I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me. (oh precious peace of God that passes all understanding) I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people, that have set themselves against me round about. (bring it!) Arise, O Lord; save me, O my God: for thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly. (See? See? the war is already won. the enemy is already defeated!) Salvation belongeth unto the Lord: thy blessing is upon thy people. Selah."
Dwell on that glorious truth! And be encouraged if you are in the same place I have been in. It's so overwhelming, yes! But we have a mighty God on our side. Go to war, momma bear. :)