Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Pro-Life and on The Pill

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Before my husband and I married, I had it set in my mind that I wanted to wait at least a year or two before having children. My reasons made sense:
  • It would give us both time to adjust to marriage without the added stress and change of a baby.
  • It would allow me to keep my figure for a while longer.
  • It would give me continued freedom before the responsibility of children consumed my time.
  • It would let us build up our savings.
Reasons can always be found to justify not having children. But about two weeks into our marriage, however, we both felt it impressed on our heart to let God do what He wanted to do regarding our family. I got off the pill and, actually, assumed it would take months and months, if not a year, to get pregnant. I mean, some couples try for eons before it happens. Little did we know that in just two months, God would knit together a little boy in my womb.

After Nathan was born, Grant and I understood why God calls children a blessing. We were so in love with this little person and wanted to have another soon after. Because of a minor health issue, however, I was kind of forced to get back on the pill for a few months. Once things were cleared, I got off the pill and we began trying for another child. It took four months before Selah was conceived and we were overjoyed when we finally saw those two little pink lines!

Those of you who have followed this blog know the struggle I faced after Selah was born. PPD hit me hard and I became terrified of conceiving again. So much so that against my better judgement, I got back on the pill for the third time. Then something happened. You see, for years I had heard people say, "Let God determine the size of your family." and I was supportive of that. In essence, I completely agreed. I love my big family and I'm a fan of the Duggars. But I made excuses for my own fertility:
  • God also gives us a brain to make our choices.
  • If I have too many children, I'll only be a stressed out, overly tired woman.
  • God is bigger than birth control. I mean, some women can actually still get pregnant while on it...
That last reason was what led my husband and I to study oral contraception and how it really works. This is what we learned:
  1. Plan A: The pill tricks the body into thinking it's already pregnant so the body will not ovulate. (totally sounds unhealthy, eh?) This is called suppression of ovulation.
  2. Plan B: Many times, plan A does not work (they don't tell us this) and a thing called breakthrough ovulation occurs where the body ovulates anyway. If this happens, as it often does according to research, plan B comes into place where a barrier of thicker, cervical mucus is created between the sperm and the egg, preventing conception from happening.
  3. Plan C: The first two plans sound, at worst, unnatural, but there isn't really much of a danger, right? Now comes plan C. Just like breakthrough ovulation occurs quite frequently, the sperm and the egg can still meet, regardless of plan B. When the sperm and egg come together, life begins. At this point, the little baby goes to attach itself to the uterus. How does plan C work? The synthetic hormones in the pill create a shield over the uterus, preventing implantation. To put it bluntly, it blocks the life from its life source, thus suffocating the baby to death. At this point, a woman usually begins her cycle and many times, what is thought and believed to be a normal menstrual period is the body flushing out an aborted life. 


Learning the truth left us horrified and I immediately got off the pill. This time, for good. Fast forward to the present. Now I am 18 weeks pregnant with our third child. In December, I will have three children - 3 years old and under! Some call that irresponsible. Others call it lunacy. But I am so comforted by the words of God in Psalm 127 that calls children a blessing, a reward, and a heritage. Am I nervous? Yes. Overwhelmed? I am. But I also know that it wasn't simply our choice to be on or off birth control that this little one was conceived. Every life is created and ordained by God. Every conception is done by His will, not ours. Whether we like it or not, we really aren't in control of creating life. God is. And each life He creates has a purpose.

I want to encourage you today to spend time in prayer with the Lord, and to ask Him what you should do with your fertility, your family, and your future.

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