Tuesday, May 6, 2014

God Can Plan a Family Better Than I Can

According to cultural opinion, having a boy and a girl means that you have the "Million Dollar Family." You have the perfect family size and quality. In other words, you're done. I did a little research and looked up the term "Million Dollar Family" on Wiki Answers. This is what it said:
Derives from the similar terms “rich man’s family” or “choix du roi”
One son–to inherit and rule the estate…no brothers are needed to work the fields or run the business (because you’re rich) so best deal is not to have second and third sons who will not receive a birthright and will skulk around, envious, making trouble 
One daughter–to marry a powerful ally’s son and spread your power and influence


In early April, we entered a new place. No longer were we viewed as a "Million Dollar Family." Instead, we were on the receiving end of raised eyebrows and sympathetic concern. It's strange. People enthusiastically congratulate you when you announce your first pregnancy. For your second, you receive smiles and happy remarks on how beneficial it will be for your first child to have a playmate. But when you announce your third, fourth, or fifth pregnancy, you start receiving strange looks and rude comments alluding to babies being blessings as long as you only have one or two. Any more than that, and you are being irresponsible or ruining the planet or other such nonsense. Eyebrows raise and filters get tossed to the side. Since announcing my pregnancy, we have been greatly encouraged by friends and members of our family. There has been a lot of joy and it has been such a blessing to be around people who view every child as a gift from God. But along with those sweet words of excitement, there have been some awkward and even hurtful reactions and comments. I wish I can say that I have had a great comeback to each rude and probing remark about my fertility, but honestly I usually find myself giving a fake laugh, a small smile, and stuttering out something that gently moves the conversation on to something else. If I was a little more bold and said what I usually want to say, each conversation would probably go something like this:

  • Honey, you'd better start getting on the pill. Do you know how the pill works? Any follower of Jesus Christ should be pro-life and the pill has the potential to snuff out life. I won't subject my body to unnatural and fake hormones and toxins that have the potential to kill a life God has placed in my womb.
        
  • Three kids, huh? You know you aren't going to be able to handle that. I know I will have days when I feel that way but, according to the Word of God, I can do all things by the power and strength that is offered to me daily through the sacrifice of Christ. So, yes I can.
       
  • Don't you know what causes that? No, please enlighten me. I've been trying to figure out how babies are "caused." <----insert sarcasm here
       
  • So, are you trying to be like the Duggars? Three kids is now the equivalent of nineteen?? Shall I thank Common Core for that brilliant math? No, we aren't trying to be like the Duggars. Quite simply, we are just letting God be God.
       
  • I feel sorry for you. They say the third child ruins your body for good. If areas of my body that should be toned get softer, and places that should be slim have a little more fluff, at least I know that I sacrificed my external body to bring forth three little lives that God Himself has ordained and knit together. Three hearts, three sets of hands and legs - three precious little people who have eternal worth and value. I'd say the exchange is worth it, wouldn't you?
       
  • Kids take up so much time. When are you going to have time for you? There's no time for selfishness in the Christian life, especially when you become a parent. Children aren't just time-consumers, they are eternity with skin on. Yes, it takes time - all your time - to mold them and shape them and teach the basics of every part of life. Time for me will come when they're grown and gone. When I'm old, I'll rest better and enjoy my "me time" more knowing that I have adult children in love with Christ and in the will of God.

Psalm 127:1 says, Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.

If the Lord isn't building our house, we are working in vain. Our plans are meaningless if the Lord is not, indeed, Lord overall.

Verse 3 says, Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

Not just a gift. But a reward.

Verse 4 goes on and tells us, As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

What kind of warrior has no arrows for his bow? No bullets for his gun? The Lord tells us that children are spiritual ammunition against the work of Satan.

Then the conclusion in verse 5, Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.


I'm going to be honest. Seeing those two pink lines appear on the pregnancy test was a shock. Though we planned to have more children in the future, we hadn't expected a pregnancy this soon and it took us by surprise. But that did not, for one minute, diminish the amazing honor we both felt. Though my husband and I are mite nervous, we are so happy to have another arrow to add to our quiver. God helping us, we will sharpen this little one and aim him or her in the way they should go. The Lord can plan my family better than I can. He can fill my quiver best. And if I say I trust Him....well, I guess I'd better practice what I preach.


 

6 comments:

Mary Renee said...

It amazes me how people put into the intimate portions of our lives and assume that it is their business to make rude, hurtful, or degrading comments.
When comments are made about whether I have kids or not, what birth control I choose to use/not use, etc; I merely tell them that that is none of their business and that it is the business of only 3 - me, my husband, and God. If they are none of those listed, then I owe them no explanation. :)

Great thoughts, Kristen!

Mary nesbitt Bush said...

*butt into, not "put into" whoops!

Gidget said...

God bless you, Grant, and your lovely children Kristen! Fight the good fight!

Rebekah Hargraves said...

Great article! My husband and I have made the same choice as well-to let God be God in that area of our lives, too. We're now entering our 2nd month of marriage and have no idea what the Lord may have in store for us when, but we know He is in control and His plan is best, and we're excited to see where it takes us. Be encouraged today, Kristen! You are sowing much and will reap much!

Oh, btw, have you read the book Three Decades of Fertility? It's an interesting read-it's the life stories of 10 different Christian women who decided to surrender that area of their lives to the Lord, the giver of life. I think you would find it encouraging!

Libby @ A Noble Calling said...

This was an excellent post, Kristen! I'm reading "A Full Quiver" right now and it is such an amazing book- it really lays out the Truth about children and how much God loves and values every single one of them. I never knew just how much God had to do with babies and how much He said about children in His Word until reading that book. I'd highly recommend it if you haven't read it already :)

Hope you have a beautiful blessed day <3

HisPrincessWarrior said...

“Not a just a GIFT, but a REWARD”!!! This was SUCH a ‘lightbulb’, dear sister! We ALWAYS hear people say “Children are a gift from God”, and yes, I agree—they are! But they’re not simply a gift—they are a REWARD!!! Having the Holy Spirit bring that to one’ attention is like when you read a certain verse over and over, and it speaks to you one way at one time, but some time later, it blows you away with another meaning! A REWARD… wow. What a blessing. Thank you for, by God’s grace, including this in your post!
(OH! And congratulations on your 3rd little reward!!!!!!!! J J J I’d be thrilled regardless of what people thought! Lol)

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