What's So Honorable About Being a Stay-at-Home Mom?

Disclaimer: 

I am writing this post in response to a question I received. This post in no way condemns working mothers and I gracefully ask that before you assume that it does, to please read the whole post before commenting.

If you are a stay-at-home mom, you know the feeling that comes over you when you see "Occupation" on paperwork. I've always filled it out as "Homemaker" and, sadly, I've been questioned many times about what I do all day....as if managing a home and raising children are a breeze and not even considered a job. It's a little disheartening and, sometimes, even offensive when people pummel me with questions about how it feels to give up dreams and hobbies for the sake of washing dishes, ironing work shirts, and scrubbing kool-aid stains out of the carpet. In the spirit of humility, I'd like to make one thing very clear: The gifts and talents God gives to women are not meant to take away from the family and the home, but to build up the family and the home.

In the 1950's it's estimated that only 19% of young mothers worked outside the home. Now, roughly 80% of mothers are out in the work force. Motherhood has been stripped of its glory and made into a guilt-riddled, raging battle of the Mom's over who's the better parent. The career moms think the stay-at-home mom's are lazy and uneducated and the stay-at-home mom's believe the working mom's are selfish and careless about their children. The media is largely to blame for the tension and I, for one, would like it to stop.

I'm going to go ahead and clearly say that there is nothing wrong with working wives and mothers. Many women in Scripture held jobs - both small and great. Deborah and Esther were in politics, Lydia was in commercial trade, Priscilla was a tentmaker, many were midwives and nurses, the Proverbs 31 woman was industrious and worked to bring in extra income for her family. Nowhere in Scripture are women condemned from holding a job outside the walls of her house. However, though we have the freedom to go out into the career world, what is commanded by God in Scripture has become demonized by society - even by those inside the Church! Let's explore that...

God's Word does not condemn the working women, but it is very, very clear on where a wife and mother's priorities ought to be. In Titus 2, we find the older women commanded to teach the younger women some pretty important things:

Titus 2:3-5 - The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (emphasis mine)

 
Here we see that women are commanded to be keepers at home. The word "keeper" comes from the greek work Oikouros which means a guardian. It also means to be domestically inclined. This whole passage is teaching us our place as married women and mothers of children. We may want to work out of the home, we may HAVE to work outside the home, but our primary focus should be to look after our home - both spiritually and physically - and to manage our house with wisdom and godliness. The Proverbs 31 woman is a beautiful picture of a woman of God fulfilling Titus 2 while also holding a job. She is described as a strong woman with integrity and wisdom. Her husband trusts her, her children adore her, and she uses her gifts and talents, not in ways that will steal from her family but in ways that will bless them.

It's very difficult for a woman to fully keep watch over her house and her family when she is struggling to bring in income. That's why we ought to always seek the wisdom and guidance of God and let Him lead us. Our culture as a whole is anti-home and anti-family. Women all over America are pressured and expected to leave their children at a daycare and go out and "find themselves" by having a thriving career. Many times, the attitude behind it is pure selfishness and greed. Though there's absolutely nothing wrong with daycares and being out in the work force, if our children and our homes suffer, we are not in God's will. In fact, according to Scripture, God's Word is blasphemed!

Ouch.

1 Timothy 5:14 says something very similar as Titus:

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

Now, we can get mad and come up with lots of exceptions, but the truth remains. If we say we ought to obey God and yet pick and choose what we want to obey out of the Scriptures, we become hypocrites and we cause unbelievers to speak evil of the Word of God because they see our outright disobedience to His commands. When we ignore the words of God, we are blaspheming that Word by not taking it seriously. Notice that in both Titus 2 and 1 Timothy 5, women are specifically commanded to care for their children and oversee their homes. I would venture to say that it is not only important to fix peanut butter sandwiches and scrub the floors, but it's honorable. In the midst of the messes, the busyness, and the tiring days, it's beautiful.

I have many hobbies. I have many goals and dreams of my own. But God gave me those things to honor Him in His way, not my way. If I go out and become a Grammy-award winning singer and yet neglect to nurture my children and train them up according to the principles of Scripture like I am commanded to do in Proverbs 22:6, I have blasphemed the Word of God. I can venture to write best-selling novels or travel all over the world for business but if my home suffers, my husband lacks affection, and my children are not trained by the authority God gave them - me and their daddy! - I have caused the watching world to speak evil about the Gospel of Christ. My job is to purposefully make my little ones the priority over musical (or any other!) aspirations. It doesn't matter if I'm singing in a stadium or singing a lullaby to my baby girl, if it is in line with the precepts of the Bible, I am in obedience.

When women of God delve into His Word and obey it, they will be honored. The Proverbs 31 woman was up before daybreak (something I have yet to master) cooking and cleaning and training her children all while selling merchandise. That's honorable. It's time to quit foolishly attacking each other and subtly looking at the home-all-day moms and the at-the-desk-all-day moms with arrogance or mean spirited resentment. It's not a competition on who's more holy. All that matters is if we are obeying God's Word.

You Shouldn't Have So Many Kids

Not long ago, I had to make a trip to the grocery store. An errand like that used to be simple. Now, with three children four and under, it is anything but simple!

After I made sure the diaper bag was stocked, sippy cups were filled, and shoes and coats were on, I strapped and buckled each child in their seats and we made the 20 minute trip to town. Once there, I unbuckled each child, grabbed a cart, settled my 18 week old in the carrier against my chest and we walked into the store. I noticed plenty people staring at this semi-young woman toting three very small children into a building chocked full of food, toys, and candy where disasters were very, very possible, and I felt like a circus show.

Even more recently I endured a very offensive verbal confrontation in the store which left me rattled for hours. In the spirit of pure selfishness, I was approached by a complete stranger who stared at my kids and then said that one child is bad enough; that by having SO MANY (it's only three, y'all...hardly worthy of the Guinness Book of Records), I'm one to be pitied. How thankful I am that my little ones are too small to understand the complete lack of value our world has for their precious lives!

It's funny when I think about it. Years ago, it was completely normal for women to have five, ten, even fifteen children! And yet, here we are in a society that gawks in disgust when a young woman has three small children. More often than not, they are treated like an annoying disruption to the norm. Pro-choice seems to be only for the ones who want to kill their babies, not for those who want them.

I've blogged about the pill. I've blogged about the blessing of children and how much I love being a mom. Of course, it's exhausting. Of course, there is precious little time for many hobbies that I enjoy. Yes, there are moments when I want to pull my hair out and moments when I would love to just walk out the door without having to fill a diaper bag, load up three crazy kids, and make sure seat belts are tight, a stroller is in the back, and I have extra baby wipes should a crisis occur. But those things pale in comparison to the joy my kids bring. My little boy told me last week that I was "the good-est mom he's ever seen!" My two year old little girl regularly asks me to hold her and randomly gives me the sweetest hugs and kisses. She joins me in the bathroom each morning and brushes my hair while I'm getting ready. My baby girl greets me every single morning with the most precious baby grin and happily falls asleep in my arms every night after a feeding.

To all the nay-sayers, these little miracles with peanut butter smudged on their faces and dirt under their finger nails are eternity with skin on. They're little souls whom God has designed and each of them have a special calling upon their lives. I don't have too many kids. I have exactly what I'm meant to have; exactly what the Creator Himself has given to my husband and me. And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Resolutions for a Momma

Happy (belated) New Year!

Currently, my hands are very full. I have a three and a half year old, an almost-two year old, and a four week old that demand my attention and my care 24/7. My heart is much more full than my hands ever could be, but my work load is, nevertheless, far from light. Entering a new year with a brand new baby, I thought long and hard about my resolutions for 2015. To be honest, it got overwhelming. My list of things I'd like to do is long. But the more I tried to make resolutions like "I will write more Thank You notes this year" and "I will finally organize that closet I keep avoiding," the Lord slowly redirected my thoughts.

I haven't blogged much at all lately and my book I have been working on for over a year is nowhere near complete. But instead of letting that make me feel like a failure and that my potential is being wasted away, I resolve to read one more book to my little boy and use the writing time I get - be it very little - to do my best. (Col. 3:17)

My hair stays in virtually one style and I'm spending these rare "me" moments writing this blog post instead of working to firm up these flabby abs. But instead of choosing to let that make me feel unattractive, I resolve to smile and put on Jesus Christ; letting Him be my beauty. (Col. 3:12-17)

In the wee morning hours while feeding my baby, I've spent more time playing on my phone than praying and meditating on God's Word. Instead of allowing myself to be caught up in distractions, I resolve to take my thoughts captive and delight in the law of the Lord. (Psalm 1:2)

I'm ashamed to say I've been ushering my kids upstairs to get them out of my hair lately. Instead of letting laziness be my boss, I resolve to play more board games, put together more puzzles, and to reach the heart of my children in 2015. (Prov. 31:28)

My nails are chipped, my laundry is endless, my kids need a bath, and I'd love to sit down with tea and book (and quiet that doesn't mean my little girl is writing on the walls again!). But instead of feeling overwhelmed, my resolution is to live joyfully. There will always messes to clean, meals to bake, events to attend, and dates to remember. There will always be a list of things to do and groceries to buy. There will always be people I will disappoint and expectations I will not meet. But no more guilt! To echo Jonathan Edwards, my resolution for 2015 is to live with all my might while I do live.

Micah 6:8
"...and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?"

May 2015 bring us close to the feet of Jesus and may our cup be full-to-the-brim of His joy!

Birth Story of Lily Eden

Things have been quite....busy (to say the least!). We welcomed our third child, our precious little girl, on December 11, 2014. Once home, I decided to take every available moment to rest and recuperate and get ready for Christmas. Now that things have settled down a bit, I would like to introduce to you, our sweet little Lily Eden.

Everything about this little one is beautiful. For me, personally, she is the perfect picture of God's grace. We didn't "plan" her. In all honesty, we wanted to wait a few years before having more children. I was scared of having more after the last one. But God, being Omniscient, knew that we needed this little girl; my "little bit of Eden" as I call her.

I was blessed with another healthy pregnancy and we were counting down the days until her due date. On December 10, at an OB appointment, my doctor and I discussed induction. I was a few days late and was experiencing a lot of pain due to Lily cuddling into my ribcage and stretching against my backbone and pelvis. Ouch. I had been dilated to 2-3 for three weeks and my cervix was extremely thin. So after weighing all the options, we decided we would go for an induction. Quite honestly, I as horrified. My birth plan did not, in any way, include induction. It did not include an epidural after having had one with my first and hating it. My plan was to go into labor - on my own - and labor naturally. As was seemingly the "theme" of Lily's pregnancy, my plans were not God's plans. :)

So on the morning of December 11, my husband and I checked into the hospital and we began pitocin shortly after 11:00 a.m.

Things began wonderfully. I immediately began to dilate and contractions were very bearable. I spent time reading, listening to music and singing, and visiting with our pastor, his wife, and my family. Around 1:30, things began to get intense and hard. Having read up on induction, I assumed I was going to be laboring all day and into the night. So, cringing, I asked for an epidural at 2:45 p.m.

One hour later, at 3:51 p.m. I saw my little girl and heard her strong cry for the first time. Once I got the epidural I, again, assumed it would be hours and hours before it was time to deliver. But it was no time at all before I felt my body try to push. I had just enough medicine to ease the pain without losing all feeling whatsoever. Four pushes brought Lily into the world and I was finally able to do something I hadn't ever been able to do with my other babies - hold them immediately. Lying there with a warm, wet, bright-eyed little girl against my skin, gripping my finger and looking up at me with her beautiful eyes took my breath away. And I kept thinking, "This is grace...this is a little bit of heaven...of Eden." :) Weighing 6 lbs, 12 ounces and 20 1/4 inches long, she was - by far - our greatest Christmas gift!

My recovery this time around has been fantastic. Lily is two weeks old and sleeping fabulously and I am feeling - almost! - like 100% again. Thank you for your prayers and all the well-wishes via Facebook. I feel so blessed reading all the encouragement and seeing all the love. I leave you with some pictures of our family of FIVE now!

first moments. can it get any more beautiful than this?

Lily Eden

our little Christmas blessing

big brother is BEYOND proud of Lily and big sister is a
"little momma"to baby "sis-soo"

Grant and I celebrated our fifth Christmas together this year.
Five years, three precious children. The Lord is so good. 

Facebook, Pinterest, and the Comparison Trap

Maybe you have thought it in the moments when you're browsing through Pinterest just because you are looking for a new recipe to try out. And as you browse, you see all the "How To's" - from how to decorate the tops of your cabinets to how to have the tightest, firmest body after your second pregnancy. And you feel it. 

I'm not enough....

Maybe you have thought it while skimming Instagram and you see the pictures of that woman who just had her third child two months ago and she looks better than she ever did before! It's got to be the filter, right? Nevertheless, you feel it.

I'm not doing a good enough job...

Maybe you have said it out loud when you are scrolling through the news feed on Facebook, minding your own business, simply wanting to stay updated on your family and friends. And you read about one of your friends who's two year is reading already....and you just wrestled your three year old into a new set of underwear because he forgot he wasn't wearing a pull-up. Again. And here it comes....

I am a complete failure...

You've likely said it. Thought it. Bemoaned your failures while eating the chocolate you have hid in the laundry room. (I have!)

Last week we finally sat down and watched "Mom's Night Out" -- totally recommend, by the way! -- I laughed a lot. I nodded in agreement. And I cried, fully feeling and understanding the things this sweet mom felt.

Those of you who have seen this movie, did this portion of the movie get to you too?




Oh, I found myself in a blubbering mess after that. And I have one of those ugly cries. You know what I'm talking about....

But I felt that truth wrap its arms around me. And it felt so good.

Sometimes, because of social media and even because of certain people, we build up expectations of ourselves that are nigh impossible to attain. And we work so hard (so ridiculously, incredibly HARD!) to measure up those expectations. We run ourselves into the ground trying to please everyone, ourselves most of all, and forget that we are not called to see that our children are academically advanced at age three or that our homes look like a page out of Pottery Barn magazine. We are not called to do all we can to achieve a body that bears no marks of childbearing or to serve gourmet dinners to our husbands every single night. We are not expected to be a Pinterest wife or mom, nor should we compare ourselves with a status from someone on Facebook. Our worth and security is not found there, but only in the Person of Jesus Christ. Simply serving Him and doing the best we can with the gifts and strengths that He has given us is enough.

Where does your security lie? Is God your refuge, your hiding place, you stronghold, your shepherd, your counselor, your friend, your redeemer, your Saviour, your guide?
If He is, you don’t need to search any further for security.     
Elisabeth Elliot

So to all of you out there who find yourself logging off feeling less than victorious about your role as a wife or a momma, let that encourage you today.

Dealing With Loneliness in Motherhood

Not a day goes by that I don't check my email, scroll through Facebook, and check the latest photos via Instagram. I like to stay up-to-date and somewhat connected to those I love. It's funny when I think back to my first email account - from Juno.com - and remember fighting over how long the phone line would be tied up. Now we literally have everything at our fingertips. Instant oatmeal, instant coffee, texting, Facetime, a ready-in-five-minutes dinner, it's all offered up to us with the touch and the swipe of a finger. No doubt, we should be completely content, right? But did you know that even with all the technology and instantaneous apps and gadgets, today's generation is apparently the loneliest one ever? I believe it, I really do. And motherhood made me see it.

Keeping little people alive Caring for and nurturing children is hard work. And I'm here to tell you that it can get lonely, even with Facebook at the touch of your finger.

At the end of a long day full of laundry, cleaning crumbs and spit up, baths, stories, kissing boo-boo's, breaking up toddler and baby spats, and teaching the most basic things (please don't spit on the couch, you always chew up your food before trying to swallow, you aren't supposed to change sisters' diaper, we only go outside with clothes on!), I often wind down by going through all the social media. It makes me feel like I'm involved in the lives of my family and friends. Seeing comments on my posts makes me feel like they want to be involved in MY life. In that moment, we are ever so close....right? Nah, no. Not really. Social media makes us feel connected but in truth, it actually leaves us really lonely. See the problem is, we are surface people. We hide behind cropped pictures, edited comments, and a very helpful spell check (although auto correct gives me fits on a daily basis!) You may think you know me by my Facebook posts and my Instagram pictures and from all my writings on this blog and previous ones. But the truth is, you see what I let you see. You know what I have given you permission to know. And the sad truth is that that is the very reason why we get lonely. We are connecting, instead of forming real relationships.

After two and a half years of motherhood, I can say with certainty that it has been the most joyous, exhausting, fun, and rewarding, and yet loneliest times of my life. It's not as easy as you think and it's not always so simple to "go out with the girls" or have a date night with your husband. I mean when you leave your child(ren), you have to make sure the babysitter knows the routine and what to expect. Selah goes to bed at 7:30, Nathan at 8:00. Nathan likes stories beforehand, and Selah always wants her bottle and her paci. If Selah cries for no apparent reason, make sure she is clean because she can't stand to be in a soiled diaper. Nathan hates vegetables, but if you use chocolate wisely, you can get him to eat. If you go out with the child(ren), you have to be prepared. Naptime is at ___, so that leaves me X-amount of time go here, here, and here. Do I have enough diapers? Is the wipes container full? Extra set of clothes for the baby. Bottle. Sippy cup. Snacks. Will we be gone during lunch? If you are going to someone else's house or meeting friends for dinner and you have the kids with you, you might tend to worry about 2-year-old tantrums, baby exhaustion, and for all the world to suddenly crumble in the eyes of your 9 month old while you're seated in a very public place. 

....or maybe that's just me.

Regardless, sometimes it's just easier to stay home. 

I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything in the world. This post isn't for those mothers who want to dump their kids off on someone else to go relive their teenage years. This post is a gentle hug from me to a lonely mommy. Because I get you. I understand. And here's what I think we should do.

If this post was for you, then listen up. As extremely daunting as it may appear, try to initiate a real friendship. I know you're exhausted, but try. Call up someone and invite them over. Bring the kids and just enjoy the chaos. It's not about having things calm and under control, it's about community. Psalms 133:1 says, "Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity." We would all be better off and a lot less lonely if we embraced the fellowship of our fellow brothers and sisters instead of being afraid of showing how much we don't know. 

And for all you other mamma's, come on! You've been there. Reach out to the tired and lonely new mothers. Yeah sure, they may appear to have it all together, but they don't, because you didn't have it all together when you were in their shoes. Invite them over to your house. Go to their house so they won't have to lug everything and everyone around. Pass down some wisdom. Encourage them. Bring them a meal. Be warm and welcoming. Do something to bless her because motherhood is hard, especially during the little years. 

Oh and by the way, I am so thankful that Jesus digs beneath my surface and knows all the deep corners of my heart. When things get lonely in my world, it is comforting to know that I can always run to Him and find a comfort that goes beyond what I can touch. Isn't that wonderful? :)

 

Dear Grieving Mother

The following post is from an anonymous mother who contacted me and asked me to share her experience grieving the loss of an unborn baby. To any of you women out there who have endured the pain of a miscarriage, let this be an encouragement to you.

______________________________________

Dear Grieving Mother,

I'm not going to say I know how you feel because I don't.  We're all different, and we all process things differently.  But I do know the pain of loss.  I know the joyful anticipation with which you were waiting for your little bundle of joy.  And I know the devastation and grief that is caused when you experience the loss of that child through miscarriage.  It's painful.  It's horrible.  And at times it's lonely.

While none of the pain of other people's thoughtless words or indifference can compare to the actual loss of that child, the words that people speak after a miscarriage can cause more grief if spoken carelessly.  While few people knew of the miscarriage my husband and I experienced, those that did often said things which were sharp and careless and though definitely not ill-meant, they hurt. 

“At least the baby hadn't been older before the miscarriage or born and then died.” 

“At least you have your other child and you can have another one.” 

“At least you can have children; that's more than some people have.” 

“Something must have been wrong which would have been terrible for the baby to live with.” 

And while all of those statements may have been somewhat true (yes, all of them were actual statements to us), they're not helpful. And it made it so that the grief which we were naturally feeling felt wrong and unnatural. In this day and age, abortion is widely accepted and death is widely embraced, and I believe it makes our culture callous in their responses towards such a loss like a miscarriage.  Torn between wanting to grieve the way I felt was natural and acting like I could rationalize it and pass it off as a non-ordeal, I emailed an older Christian lady who I trusted with my very confused emotions.  I was grieved and hurting, but I didn't feel like anyone thought it was okay for me to grieve.  After emailing this lady, I received this loving response:

“I completely understand how you feel about people's responses to something so big and disappointing in your life. I have noticed the same thing when my daughter had her 2 (possibly 3) miscarriages. People said the most awfully insensitive and even hurtful things to her. Though she has had 4 children, she had wrapped her whole heart around the little ones inside her even though they were only 8-10 weeks old (one was 13 weeks!). To her, they were a baby who was lovingly and joyfully anticipated, then lost and mourned. People do NOT understand the powerful emotional bond that happens the minute you learn you are expecting. Yes, there are reasons the Lord allows the miscarriage, but it still bears the truth that there was a little soul inside you that you and your husband had created together and the Lord knows them fully, even though they never had the chance to fully form and come into the world. Psalm 139:16 tells us that “in Thy book, all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.”  That tells me that the Lord is looking on and KNOWS them and eternally records that little one from the moment of conception as a viable person, a soul that He is eternally interested in.  Why He takes them home before they are fully formed is a mystery to me, but the full forming of their body is in no way a pre-requisite of them being noticed or loved by God...so why is it that way with people? I have never understood the insensitive thoughts people flippantly toss out to ladies who have just lost a baby...regardless of the percent of bodily formation.  I KNOW that is hurtful and that you desire not to judge or react to others, but the questions and hurt still linger in your heart and mind.  The Lord has “wired” a mother that way and it is good that you can still value and feel what is a perfectly natural sentiment about losing a baby. You already know that you will meet that little one in eternity, but it doesn't fill your arms and heart here on earth....you were anticipating holding another heavenly treasure! Somehow, people expect a sort of detached “big girl” viewpoint on the biological mystery of losing a baby in miscarriage, and that has always baffled me that they cannot stop, reflect, and grieve at least somewhat along with the mother who keenly feels the loss....even though she is fully aware that there was probably some reason the baby would have been whole and healthy had it survived the entire pregnancy. Acceptance is not equal to indifference! Indifference does not bolster acceptance.”

After reading this email, it was the first time I really grieved.  I had cried while holding my husband's hand and holding my one year old tight in my arms....but the first time I really wept and mourned for my little baby was when I read that email.  Grieving is natural...and just because your little one was never born into this world, that little one was still your child.  A very special child loved by God.

So dear mother, grieve. There is time to move on, and it is good to still focus on the good and joyous times in your life.  But the grief of a child, no matter the age, is natural.  I only pray that this helps you through this difficult time in your life and is an encouragement to your hurting heart.  You're not alone, and the grief is completely naturally. The grief doesn't immediately stop either.  Months later, I still grieve when I think of the due date that will pass as a date un-noticed. I watch my child play and wonder if there will ever be another little person playing next to my precious little one, whether I'll cuddle another child in my arms. I see other ladies joyfully anticipating their little ones or carry their newborns lovingly around, and I wonder if that will be me again sometime. But with His help, the pain will slowly lessen, though the memories will remain. But His strength will pull us through those hard times....

May God bless your continued journey,

A Fellow Healing Mother

"First-Time Mommy" Tips from a Mommy of 2

Are you a first-time mommy? Did you see those two little pink lines on the pregnancy test? I was asked recently if I had some tips and advice for you all. And I do. :) So I would like to share with you all the things that I think are important to know if you are entering this whole new world of motherhood for the first time. :) So let's get started!

1. Read up on pregnancy and child birth. I mean it. It will help you understand what's going on. It will also keep you from calling your Doctor 1,538 times during your pregnancy. Of course, What to Expect When You're Expecting is always a good choice, though dismiss the flippant liberal views that pop up occasionally (it's a BABY, not a fetus). I also recommend Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn which has wonderful medical information and tips on how to labor and deliver both naturally and with medicine. If God blesses me with another baby, next time I am going to buy and read Redeeming Childbirth: Experiencing His Presence in Pregnancy, Labor, Childbirth, and Beyond. It has gotten great reviews, and I am looking forward to reading it. I'm sure it will not be a disappointing purchase for you.
      
2. Eat healthy. Duh, right? Everybody says this. But you really should eat as healthy as possible. You will most likely experience really weird cravings and it IS okay to indulge yourself. However, if you crave chocolate, eat a bit of chocolate but DON'T eat a whole gallon of chocolate ice cream. Fruit is awesome. Eat good protein and fiber. Drink water liberally. You'll feel a lot better in the long run if you do this. Oh but don't be wierded out if your dinner consists of pinto beans and pecan ice cream.
       
3. Be wise with your supplements. Get yourself a good Prenatal vitamin. I was hit and miss with my prenatals in my first pregnancy. I didn't really take anything at all. I used the Rainbow Light Prenatal Multivitamin in my second pregnancy. Also with #2, I took Vitamin C, Calcium supplements and, near the end, I religiously took Red Raspberry Leaf and Evening Primrose Oil. I am a firm believer in the power of Red Raspberry Leaves, especially if you are planning a natural birth. My post here explains what I took, why I took it, and the results. *** Note: This is information about what I chose to do. I am not your doctor, so always consult with your OB/GYN and do your own research before taking anything in pregnancy.
       
4. Don't be afraid to exercise. When I was pregnant with Nathan, I bought this Denise Austin prenatal workout and I really like it. There is a 20-minute Cardio workout, a 2nd Trimester toning workout, and a 3rd Trimester toning workout that gets your core ready for delivery. There's also a 10-minute post-partum workout at the end.With Selah, I was a lot more adamant about being healthy and I used this a lot more and I was better because of it. ***Note: I also really recommend the Bounce Back post-partum DVD. It is gentle and effective and really easy to use.
       
5. Prepare your spirit. They don't call it labor for nothing. It's WORK. And it will give you peace if you meditate on Scripture and listen to music that points you the One who has it all under control. I made a list of Bible verses that I dwelt on in the weeks leading up to labor. I also had a labor and delivery playlist with music that helped keep me calm and relaxed. Just like marital intimacy, birth is spiritual. There is nothing like watching a miracle happen and coming face-to-face with a tiny little life that God created with parts of you and parts of your husband. Get your mind and spirit in gear and on track with this beautiful process and you will experience it in all its glory.
       
6. Don't expect labor to be like the movies. We have all seen the woman on screen suddenly yell, "Ah! The baby's coming!" and there's this mad dash to the hospital. It's not like that. You might miss the first contraction. Labor can take days. Now, not every woman is the same. For example, my water broke with my first (when your water breaks, go to the hospital. Don't lollygag around). With my second, I was in labor a grand total of 3 hours and 54 minutes, and we barely made it to the hospital on time. Listen to your doctor and listen to your body! When you feel a contraction, start timing it. It can mean the baby is coming soon, or it can mean the baby is coming soon-ish. Don't assume you will scream at the first contraction and go running to the door.
       
7. Before your due date, make some meals. It will help you if you prepare some meals and freeze them in advance so once you're home from the hospital, you won't feel pressured to cook. You will have to eat. Soups, chili's, burritos, casseroles, pancakes, and smoothies are easy to prepare and freeze. Go online and search for freezer meals and you will come up with lots of options. Stock your fridge and pantry too so you won't be stressed out about grocery shopping.
          
8. Expect sleepless nights. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, the first few weeks after delivery are rough. Your hormones and emotions are all over the place. And you will feel exhausted. It takes lots of adjusting, going from only a wife to a mommy. Everyone always says, Sleep when the baby sleeps. Listen to me: DO THIS. With baby #1, you can do this! With baby #2, and #3 and #4, it's not so easy. So take it while it's there and get as much rest as you are able to. Also, in those middle of the night feedings, use the time to pray. I got a lot of prayer time in the stillness of those night feedings. It became really special.
        
9. Don't over-commit yourself. Girl, you just grew a life and then pushed a small little life out of your body. Don't overdo it. Don't push yourself to get things done. Don't feel bad for putting a sign on your front door telling visitors to come another time. Relax and let your body (and your mind!) heal and get used to the new normal.
          
10. Don't be afraid. Remember when I said your emotions will be all over the place? Yeah, they will be. And you may feel down. Most likely overwhelmed. Maybe terrified. Make sure you don't hold it all inside. Talk to your husband. Seek out an older woman who has sweet, Godly wisdom. Bond with a fellow young mommy. Make sure you pray! Journal. Go on a walk and think. Whichever way you feel led, make sure you have an outlet for the feelings you will have. And don't worry about it. Don't be afraid. Trust the Lord and soak up this amazing time. 

Oh, and congratulations! :)

Ministry Opportunities for the Stay-at-Home Mom

Earlier this month, I offered some ministry opportunities for those who are single. Today I am shifting to stay-at-home momma's. I was raised in ministry and I grew up traveling the road. Now that I am more at home than out and about, I can understand the mothers who don't believe that they have much of a mission field. Let me tell you, YOUR POTENTIAL IS HUGE! And you are needed. 

Here are just some of the ministry opportunities for a Stay-at-Home Mom.

• Use your gifts in your Church. Can you teach? Do you sing? Can you play an instrument? Can you help clean? Do you have organizational skills? There are so many ways we can use our natural, God-given gifts and talents to bless our Church. Look around or ask your pastor where a need is in the Church, then pray and see if God wants YOU to meet that need. It may be working with children or teenagers. It may be a mentoring ministry. Or it may something as "small" as keeping the kitchen stocked with plates and cups. Pray and let God show you what to do.
      
• Practice hospitality. My husband and I have been talking about this recently. Probably because we are finally about to move into our home! Hospitality is a ministry. I have walked into a home where I felt uncomfortable and afraid to touch anything for fear that I would break it. It left me feeling stressed and, quite honestly, like a burden - even though I was invited there. I have also walked into a home that felt warm and where the conversation felt like cool water on parched lips. Practice welcoming people into your home. Invite that exhausted new mom over for tea or coffee and a long heart-to-heart. Invite that family with five little children over for dinner and genuinely love on them. Open up your home with warmth and it will go a long way in blessing others.
             
• Sponsor an Orphan. Anyone - single and married with children - can sponsor a child. Current statistics show that there are over 150 million orphans in the world today. If they are not helped, they will continue in poverty, human trafficking, slavery, and other desperate circumstances. You can help them. Visit Cry of the Orphan, His Little Feet, World Orphans, Danita's Children whom we support, or All God's Children to learn how you can sponsor a child. It usually doesn't require much money at all. Make it a family project and include your kids in the process.
       
• Help the slaves. Take a good look at your children. Can you picture your precious little boy brainwashed and turned into a solider? Can you imagine your sweet little innocent girl enslaved and sold into prostitution? It's happening every day to millions around the world. Human trafficking is the 2nd largest criminal enterprise in the world. So what can you do? We support Project Rescue which rescues and restores victims throughout India, Nepal, Moldova, Bangladesh, Tajikistan, and Spain. Consider Project Rescue or visit Glue Boys, Slavery No More, U Count Campaign, International Justice Board, or She Has a Name to learn more about their ministries and how you can help.
        
• Foster/Adopt. If only one family in every Church in the United States adopted one child out of the foster care system, there would no longer be any children waiting for adoption. Let that sink in. Now, I understand that not every family is able to foster or adopt. But those that can, should! James 1:27 tells us to look after widows and orphans. Pray and ask God to show you how you can do this. If He leads you to adoption, visit Hope for Orphans, All God's Children, Adopt Us Kids, Bethany Christian Services, Lifesong for Orphans, Project 1:27, or Christian Alliance For Orphans. You can't do everything. But you can do something.
       
• Donate to Shelters/Give to Orphanages. I regularly go through my kids' toys and clothes (as well as my own) and give away what isn't needed. I encourage you to do the same. Pass it on to another family. Donate to shelters or ministries. You can also give to Orphanages. At Orphan's Heart, you can see a list of materials needed. Buckner has a gift catalog where you can choose the amount you are able to spend, and then shop online for supplies, care, and gifts. Shoes For Orphan Souls is a ministry that provides shoes for poverty stricken children. Gain USA is another place where you can give aid to children and children's homes.
      
• Go into the prisons. My husband has a prison ministry and I remember being humbled when I first went with him. In the late 1700's and early 1800's, Elizabeth Fry - a wife and mother to 11 children! - worked to reform the prisons of England. She brought clean clothes and food to the prisoners, she began a Bible study, and she founded a prison school for the children who were incarcerated with their parents. Maybe the Lord is calling you to minister to women in prison and bring them the Gospel. Another way you can help the imprisoned is by writing to them. In more than 40 nations around the world today Christians are being persecuted and imprisoned for their faith. In Hebrews 13:3, Paul instructs us, as believers, to remember our brothers and sisters who are in chains "as bound with them." You can go to PrisonerAlert.com to learn how you can 1) write to fellow Christians in prison for our faith, how you can 2) contact government officials to ask for their release, and learn how you can 3) give money to support the prisoner's families. "...I was in prison, and ye came unto me." Matthew 25:36
      
• Write/Blog. If you enjoy writing, then open up a Blogger or Wordpress account (both free hosting blog domains) and get to it! Share your testimony. Share Bible devotionals. Write candidly of what Christ is teaching you i your journey as a wife and mommy. Be an inspiration to others. Share Biblical wisdom that can help and reach hearts. I read blogs every day - my favorites are sent straight to my email account. Some of my favorite blogs to read are: Revive Our Hearts, Growing Home, Biblical Homemaking, I Take Joy, and The Modest Mom. 

• Bake to bless. Are you a good cook? How about baking a cake or cooking a meal for a widow? Has someone in your community or Church recently had a baby? Bring that momma some food so she won't have to cook. What about a family that might be struggling? Someone who recently had surgery? Bless them with some goodies.
           
• Disciple your children. Sarah Mae wrote in the book, Desperate, "The God who gave you your gifts and talents is the same God who gave you souls to bring up, train, invest in, and disciple. I don’t know what His “dream” is for you, but I know that Scripture is filled with admonitions for a mama to make her home her focus and bring up her children. A mama’s primary domain is her home. This doesn’t mean you don’t have another purpose that God wants you to fulfill while you’re breathing on this earth, but your first and main purpose is to deeply invest in the souls He’s given you….” I can't put it better than that. No matter what He calls us to do, we can't neglect our prime responsibility which is to raise up Godly men and women who will be followers of Jesus Christ. In truth, that is the whole reason God designed us to procreate. It wasn't to simply experience the miracle birth or snuggle with cute kiddos. It was to bless us with the opportunity to disciple and train our little ones to love Him and make Him known to the world. 

Sally Clarkson on Motherhood

"Instead of being revered, respected, and supported by society, mothering is devalued. Even when lip service is paid to the value of family, there is still the underlying assumption that only “real” work - financial performance, career achievement, or some other contribution outside the home - counts in terms of value and success. Often, as a result, women feel confused and torn between the cultural messages they hear about what is important for them to do and the eternal message God has written on their hearts. The minority of mothers who choose to devote their lives to the nurturing of godly heritage by focusing on their homes as the center of life find themselves unsupported and unaffirmed by a culture that does not value their contribution. The hard, daily, repetitive work of making a home a haven, providing healthy meals, correcting and training little ones, and constantly cleaning up messes is perceived as menial labor instead of the stuff from which godliness is built.”

~ Sally Clarkson

The Degree of Motherhood

My friend, Sarah, shares some wonderful insight on motherhood today. Read and be blessed!

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Before I got married, I went to college and earned a degree.  I'm thankful I earned it and carried through with it as it gave me much knowledge and I even use its practical applications in my life today.  But in the last little bit of my life, I've been earning a totally different degree and a completely different skill set.  You'll laugh when you hear it.  It's called “Motherhood.”  Yes, really.  I fully believe it's a degree, skill, art, and science. I hadn't thought about it that way until my Mom told me this one day in response to one of my interesting adventures with my little boy:

“Motherhood is the art of flexibility with grace, and the science of behavioral studies while majoring in your children and your husband.”

Isn't that just rich?  As soon as I heard that I was scrambling for a pen to write it down.  It's written on a note that is stuck to my fridge so I can read it every day and just remember it – both in the fun and amazing times, and during those not-so-amazing times when life is overwhelming and I simply just want to cry or sleep it away.

Before we had our little boy, I thought I knew exactly how motherhood was going to be like.  I knew how I was going to raise my little boy, and it was just going to be perfect.  Well, it is perfect for our family, but it is NOT at all like how I was expecting.  I have had to be flexible and change my theories to practical implementation. I've had to major in learning my son's...and husband's...personalities.  Their strengths, their weaknesses, how to work with them, how to help them, how to love them.  We are all individuals, and no specific parenting technique is going to work perfectly.  For some people it might be pretty close, for our family – it was not. 

For one example, I had thought I was going to have a very healthy eating child.  Turns out, I have a very picky eater who oftentimes won't eat anything at a meal... I have five foods that I know he will eat...usually.  And of those five, I know that I have to serve the grapes before the strawberries.  Why? Because he likes the strawberries better.  If he knows strawberries are available, he'll avoid the grapes and only eat strawberries.  I could get frustrated and cause us both a lot of heartache by forcing him to eat both when I want him to...or I could give him the grapes and wait for him to eat them, and then give him the strawberries. But it definitely wasn't my vision of putting all the healthy vegetables on his plate and him eating everything with no complaints.

If you knew my husband and I, you might not personally agree with our way of parenting and that's fine! What works for our family won't necessarily work for you.  But that's the point...you have to personally make decisions for your own family... You have to major in your child, your husband, the art of flexibility with grace, and the science of behavioral studies. You have to ask...BEG...God for help and guidance.  But don't be afraid to do something different just because it is unusual and unpopular.  Different is not inherently wrong. Wrong is disobeying God, but parenting will have many different looks.  If you are following Him, what is right for you is not going to work for someone else and vice-a-versa. Different is simply parenting at its finest because no two families are completely alike! And while we all should reach for that degree of Motherhood while raising our families...none of our degrees are going to be exactly the same.

Sarah is a wife to a Coast Guard officer, and a mother to an energetic 1-year-old little boy. She strives to serve her Lord and King, and a good wife and mother.  She loves photography, reading, cooking, exploring, and hiking and has a passion for purity as well as learning about healthy living and eating. Most often you will find her thoroughly enjoying time with her husband and son or making messes in the kitchen.

They Grow Up Fast

Here they are. So tiny and precious, both just a few hours old. My little boy and my little girl.

Sometimes I really miss those newborn days.

But the days and milestones that follow are a wonder in and of themselves.

Now my little boy is a two-year-old package of dirty fingernails and dried tomato juice on his face.

He is an imaginative, laid-back, precious, and sweet little man.

Once he was a babbling little crawler. Now he is a talking runner with plenty of energy.

Now my little baby girl is a six-month-old bundle of cute smiles and squishy baby rolls.

She is a fierce, adorable little go-getter, with a hunger for adventure.

It only took six months for her to sit up, crawl, and pull up. She is growing fast.

People told me when I was pregnant with Nathan to cherish the moments.

Because it goes by fast. They grow fast.

I nodded and smiled and said that I would do just that.

But I did not believe they would grow this fast.

DO cherish the moments. 

I am the type of woman who likes to have things in order. Clean. Or tidy at best.

But the dishes can wait sometimes.

That load of laundry? It will be there come naptime.

But messy kisses and baby giggles? That doesn't last long. 

So I am soaking it up.

Soon my little boy will be a big boy. 

In a blink, he will be in 1st grade....5th grade...high school...

Soon, my baby girl won't be squealing and blabbing. She will be talking. Running.

Soon, they will both be grown.

They grow fast. We only have a few short years to influence them.

Only a few long days and nights to teach them.

Only a little while to hold them, nurture them, and get them ready for adulthood.

Cherish every second.

They grow up fast.

Piggy Paint

Having a little girl is so much fun. I am the kind of mom who loves to dress her up, put bows in her hair (even when she is in her PJs), and give her baby dolls to play with.

And so it was only natural for me to want to paint her cute little toes. One problem though - I did NOT want to put the normal nail polish on her delicate nails. I took a long look at the chemicals found in nail polish and....wow. So I did some digging. And I was all-too-thrilled when I discovered Piggy Paint; an all-natural, water-based nail polish that is completely safe for babies. There are no harsh chemicals, it is odorless and non-toxic, and it is hypoallergenic.

My little bundle of sugar and spice has been modeling her gorgeous little pink toes!

I Serve My Family French Fries

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I should be doing that....

Have you ever had that thought enter your mind. It's amazing how we easily compare ourselves with other moms. Even the world of Pinterest sets us on a cyber race to perfection.

• This mom serves only health food to her family.
     
• This mom runs a business from home, homeschools her seven children, and blogs about crafting with her kids.
     
• This mom sews and makes all her kids' clothes.

And I still have one more load of laundry to wash...

Can you hear the hissing of that old garden snake tearing you down? Just like he whispered lies into Eve's ear, his forked tongue cunningly hisses one lie after another. Things like, Look at your children eating french fries while that mother feeds her toddler salad for lunch. What a failure you are!

And we beat ourselves up trying to achieve a man-made standard.

You know what? I am thankful that God's Word does not tell us to make sure we have our homes spotless, a thriving business, or children who play in handmade clothes. Instead, I am thankful that it tell us to do what we do for the glory of God:

1 Corinthians 10:31
"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."

I may serve my family french fries. I may buy my children's clothes instead of make them. And I may struggle just to meet my children's basic needs and keep myself and my home in decent-looking order. But - hey - that's okay! My talents lie elseware and the Lord made me - and you! - unique. It isn't our #1 responsibilty to have showcase homes and eat only what we grow in our own garden. Our first priority as mothers should be to disciple our children. I want my children to know and love Jesus with all their heart, soul, and mind. Though we should keep our homes well and take care of our bodies, KINGDOM work should always come first. Do not get caught up in man-made expectations. Instead, get caught up in the glorious work of loving Jesus and using your unique set of gifts to show Him to your children...and the world.

Diaper Bags || Minimizing Your Load

I lug around what mimics a suitcase. It's a diaper bag, but it is a big diaper bag. At any given time, that bag contains:

• Diapers for both my kiddos
• Wipes
• Diaper rash cream
• Extra clothes
• A small trash bag
• Bottles
• Burp cloths
• Pacifier wipes
• A thermometer
• Hand sanitizer...

You get the idea. But the other day, after struggling to get myself and my giant suitcase diaper bag out the door again, I finally snapped. There has to be a better way.

And there is.

The solution? Two bags.

We mothers pretty much need to be prepared for whatever may come. Trust me, you don't want to get caught two hours from home with no change of clothes and no trash bag when your toddler suddenly throws up in the backseat. Been there, done that. But I also don't want to walk sideways due to the massive load I have to cart around. It's time to simplify. So I now have two bags.

The smaller bag on the left is a purse I found at Wal-Mart for $16. It has two side pockets, much like a diaper bag, where I can store two bottles. Inside, I have a few diapers, a small container of wipes, and the extreme, need-it-now nessecities. I also have my wallet and very few purse essentials. That's it. The second bag stays in the car. This way, I have what I need with me and what I could possibly need within reach. The big bag holds my baby carrier, my toddler's "leash" (can't have him running off), a trash bag, a set of clothes for both kids, more diapers and wipes, and a mini-first aid kit.

I don't like toting around a huge diaper bag. It's hard enough toting around two small kiddos! So lighten your load, mom! Simplify and give your arms a break.

When You Want to Quit Motherhood

I am going to be brutally honest with you. Sometimes I want to quit motherhood.

Sometimes the dirty diapers, the midnight feedings, the endless laundry, the selfish toddler, the overtired baby - sometimes it gets to me. And I want to quit. Sometimes all I really want is a bubble bath. And polish on my toes. And quiet.

Ever felt like that?

When my sweet Selah was born, I brought her home with a gleam in my eye. I had a 22 month old son and, now, a precious little girl! Could life be any better? Nathan was a complete joy as a newborn; very easy and very mellow. Then came my feisty little girl whose name means "pause; rest; peace" and she shook things up! For the first two months, I experienced near-constant crying. We saw three doctors and got three different "reasons" for her crying. I was at my wits end. I thought I was going to go crazy. Literally. I put on a brave face, but deep down I didn't want to do it any more. Motherhood, that is. I wanted to quit.

I don't know if you have ever experienced anything like that. My heart goes out to those parents who endure 'round-the-clock screaming. I knew I did not have much left inside me. I also knew that I needed to run to Jesus. And I did. While pacing the floors, nursing around the clock, and trying to keep my eyes open, I prayed. I prayed for my baby. I prayed for my little boy who was a real trooper while mommy had to care for his new sister. I prayed for my husband who had to come home every day to dirty laundry, a dirty kitchen, and crying - from me and the baby! And I prayed for me. A lot.

Motherhood is hard. When you are expecting your little one, you think of baby cuddles and baby clothes and baby cooing. You don't think of colic or nursing problems or going days on end without a shower or sleep. And honestly, nothing can prepare you for motherhood. It's a learn-as-you-go kind of thing. And it's hard. It is a messy, gruelling, bring-you-to-your-knees kind of work. And that's the best part.

When I was at the end of my rope, I had nothing but Jesus. And it was then that 2 Corinthians 12:9 became "my verse" yet again. "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." The word "infirmities," I discovered, means - get this mothers! - feebleness (of body or mind); frailty; weakness.  Oh what comforting truth!

His strength is given to us in our weakness. Because of this, we can say "I glory in my feebleness and my frailty as a mother!"

We can take delight in this because the Word of God says that when we want to quit, His grace - His strength - can rest upon us.

Are You Tired, Mom?

I am writing this post as a sleep deprived mother.

I have a toddler that wants my attention and a newborn that demands my attention. I have a husband who deserves my attention and a home that, um, needs my attention as of late. I have numerous projects and ministry endeavors on the table too.

I'm exhausted.

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In the last five weeks, I have experienced the usual - feedings every two hours (or less!), an endless array of diapers, baby baths, infant spit up, and crying. A lot of crying. Sometimes more like wailing.

Long days and short nights.

Oh, I'm tired....Any of you mothers relate? :)

Every season in life brings its own bundle of lessons. This season I am learning a big one:  Joy

I am tired. Really tired. But I want to display joy. That's not easy when sometimes often I just want to have a big meltdown and run away. When my 23 month old throws a tantrum - again - I don't want to snap and lose my head. When I hear the unmistakable noise of a newborn waking when I'm almost asleep, I do not want to get angry. When my husband comes home after a hard day, I don't want to be impatient or selfish. I want to be joyful; gentle; thankful.

I can't do it alone. That much is for certain. But I CAN do it with the help of Christ

Psalms 28:7 says, "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him."

I have grown to love that verse over the last few weeks.

In the midnight hours where my body is screaming for rest, I can take comfort that the Lord is my resting place. In the moments when all I want is a peaceful, quiet hour, I can be thankful that I have little ones to disrupt the silence. I can rejoice that although life is sometimes crazy and hard, it is a wonderful gift from God.

His Word says I can do all things through His strength. He says that His grace and His strength in made perfect in my weakness. That's a beautiful promise! In feeding, nurturing, training, and loving my kids, His power is mine if I claim it. In loving, serving, and helping my husband, His abilities are mine if I allow Him to work through me. In caring for and managing my home, His joy is offered to me.

That's a good Word, isn't it?

Am I tired? Oh yes. But I cannot find a better reason to be tired, can you?

Birth Story of Selah Elizabeth

My darling girl made her appearance early this morning and my, what a story her birth is! While things are quiet and everything still fresh in my mind, I decided to write down and share the birth story of my little girl, Selah Elizabeth.

It started Monday night, February 11, 2013. In the space of a week and a half, I had been having Braxton Hix contractions which I thought, at the time, were the real thing. ***A note to future or first-time pregnant ladies - you will know when it's the real thing! With my first baby, my water broke so I had little to no idea what true contractions felt like. I thought I did ....but I did not. After several weeks of BH contractions and constant calls, texts, and emails from anxious friends and family, I felt frustrated with myself that I had had so many nights of false labor. With our families waiting excitedly, on Monday the 11th, I had decided that I was NOT going to breathe a word of a potential contraction until I was completely sure. Monday I spent cleaning our house, doing laundry, and going about my normal "Monday routine." As was normal in my pregnancy, I had a minor backache off and on all day.

Grant and I went to bed shortly before 10 p.m. My back had a dull ache which was typical, especially after a full day of chores and such. But there was something different this time. No matter what position I tried, I could not get comfortable. I felt restless and my backache slowly increased. At 10:12 p.m. I had my first contraction. I checked the clock and tried to get into a comfortable position to sleep. Ten minutes later, I felt another contraction. Unlike the previous BH, these contractions felt like intense cramps that wrapped around my back and stomach. With my back still aching, I quietly slipped out of bed and started pacing the living room, stretching to see if the achiness would go away. It didn't and I began to notice that those cramp-like feelings were coming every 10-15 minutes. I kept thinking, "Surely this isn't it. I've been wrong so many times. Am I missing something??" I logged into Facebook, hoping my mom was online. She was. :) I told her everything I was experiencing and she answered some questions and gave me tips on what to do and what to look for. My doctor had instructed me to head to the hospital when my contractions began to come 7-8 minutes apart. After an hour and a half of contractions every 10 minutes, I noticed that with each one, I felt pressure on my pelvis. Each one was lasting longer and I was beginning to moan through them. I knew it then. I was in labor. I woke Grant up at 12:12 a.m. and told him what had been going on for the last two hours. I said I was going to take a bath and then begin getting ready to go to the hospital. Twenty minutes later, my contractions dropped from 10 minutes apart, straight to 5 minutes apart and were getting more and more painful. I was confused. My husband, thankfully, was insistent. We needed to leave. Immediately. Barely able to walk to the car, I climbed in and we made our way to the hospital - an hour and fifteen minutes away.

In less than 20 minutes after leaving our home, I couldn't talk and could barely move due to the pain. The contractions, we discovered, were coming every TWO minutes. We were still far away. My husband, who became my hero all over again, put on the flashers and drove 90-100 mph on the freeway. Half way to the hospital, in a painful and terrified whisper, I told my husband that any hospital would do. My thoughts: just get me to a hospital!! I had hoped to try to deliver naturally this pregnancy. Having had a hard and long delivery with our first child, I wanted to try an all-natural birth this time around. To be honest, I am and always have been a weenie when it comes to pain. I don't have a high pain tolerance. I think in the back of my mind, I believed I couldn't deliver naturally because of that, even though I wanted to. In the car, flying down the interstate, all I could pray for was relief. I kept saying, "Please, just let us make it in time to get the epidural!"  After two more indescribable contractions, I felt my body clamp down and I felt the unmistakable urge to push.

PANIC MODE

We were still 30 minutes away from our hospital. I told my husband my body was trying to push. I knew we couldn't make it. The north side of town, where we were entering, had another hospital; a branch of "our" hospital. We had to go there. Amazingly, while driving at an incredible speed AND praying for me AND trying to comfort me in my pain, my husband was able to call our hospital and explain that we wouldn't be able to make it. He arranged for us to go to the other, closer hospital.

At this point, my contractions were coming constantly, with hardly a breaking point long enough to offer me a decent inhaling breath. With each contraction, I felt more pressure to push. Finally, we made it to the hospital. My husband, double parked with flashers on, leaped out of the car, grabbed a wheelchair, and lifted me out of my seat. He brought me to Labor & Delivery and the first thing I (loudly) said was, "Need....epidural!" My nurses, who were so calm and collected, helped me to a bed and, after checking me said, "Okay honey, you are at 10 cm. It's too late for an epidural, its time to push." ***insert a wailing "Nooooo!" from me***  All I remember after that is pushing and praying that she would come out healthy...and that I wouldn't die. (Dramatic, I know, but that's how it I roll while in childbirth). I don't remember how many pushes it took. Somewhere between five and ten. But finally, with a surge of strength from out of nowhere, Selah entered the world at 2:04 a.m. with a beautiful, strong cry, a head full of dark hair, and big blue eyes. It's amazing how aware and in awe of life you become when you hold your little one in your arms. She is a precious, petite princess who weighed 6 lbs, 7 ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long. For a little girl who's name means pause, rest & reflect, she sure entered the world exhibiting anything but! :) She was obviously in such a hurry to get here, the doctor couldn't make it in time! But now that she is here, and the delivery is over, she truly is living up to her name.

I didn't have a choice in terms of pain medication and a great part of me, though the pain was horrible, is glad I didn't. I learned a little more about the strength and power of Jesus Christ being made perfect in our weakness. I learned, from experience, what travail is. I learned a bit more about the amazing work of God's creation and how He designed our bodies. I even remember thinking, Oh God....this pain doesn't even match the pain of sin Jesus suffered on the cross. For me.

I thank you for your prayers. I am feeling tremendous and recovering excellently. In the morning we will go home and begin our lives as a family of FOUR! Please continue to lift us up as we enter a new chapter. May our faithful God receive all the glory. Forever.