Guest Post: Beach Modesty

Today I am sharing a guest post written by my friend, Sarah. This morning, she is sharing some great wisdom on beach modesty and raising a pure son. Enjoy!



We recently spent a vacation with family on a very warm, gorgeous beach.  It was a great trip.  I love time with family, fun in the sun, and laughing over old memories and new memories that are being created.  But there was one issue that was constantly bothering me… How do I start NOW to keep my little boy’s mind pure?  He’s only two.  So at what point do things matter…like bikinis.  In our household, my husband and little boy both wear board shorts AND a rash guard while swimming in a pool or playing at the ocean.  The rash guard is great for protecting against sun burn, but it is also important to us as we think that boys should practice modesty, as well. As for me…well, most people think I’m extreme.  I wear long board shorts (almost to my knee) and a rash guard. A family member complimented me on my cute outfit and asked where we were going out to eat for lunch.  It was a bit awkward to explain that this was actually my swim outfit…the only swim outfit I own.  

Now I’m not saying everyone needs to go to our level of what we feel is modest. I know there are different levels and I’m not claiming mine is perfect.  But I do know that I can’t handle bikinis.  I mean, really….most of the bikinis on the beach cover less than most ladies’ underwear! It bares ALL to people who are not the ladies’ husbands…and the husbands are really the only ones who should see that!

So how do I protect my little boy from being comfortable with something that I know is immodest and wrong?  In the end, my husband and I decided we cannot protect him from it.  We’d love to… I wish I could take him to a beach where everyone was dressed to some level of modesty.  But those don’t really exist.  Instead, we decided to set a rule.  There were severalphotoshoots done for girls in our party in bikinis.  And we decided he was not allowed to be in those poses.  Yes, I know he is in some pictures of just some normal activities…like wading in the beach, or digging holes in the sand.  But the posed pictures were a definite no.  Even at age 2, we don’t want him to think it is okay for him to be in pictures with mostly-revealed ladies/girls who stand with their hands on their hips and their legs tilted in a rather sexually-provocative manner. It might sound extreme.  But in the end…I think it will be worth it to start young. I want my boys’ minds to be pure. And sometimes that does mean other people don’t like what we decide.  We try not to make it a huge issue and conflict.  As I said, we don’t dictate what is worn around us. But we do ask that our children not be involved in any two-piece revealing pictures that are posed.  Because what could possibly be more important than protecting our children’s minds? Modesty is a heart issue…and we want our children to value that starting at a very early age.

Sarah is a wife to a Coast Guard officer, and a mother to an energetic 2-year-old little boy. She strives to serve her Lord and King and be a good wife and mother.  She loves photography, reading, cooking, exploring, and hiking and has a passion for purity as well as learning about healthy living and eating. Most often you will find her thoroughly enjoying time with her husband and son or making messes in the kitchen.

And the Winner is.....

It was such fun to have the very first giveaway this past Monday, and I am very grateful to Jamie for asking me to take part in reviewing her products and to host the giveaway here on the blog. Now for the fun part! I am so excited to announce the winner of this beautiful Free to Be Soft wallet!

**drum roll**

The winner of the Thirty-One giveaway is....Michelle W!

Congratulations!! I have emailed the winner already, so check your email, Michelle! 

A big thanks to all who participated!

Thirty-One review and Giveaway!

Disclaimer

I received this product free of charge to review. I was not paid for my time to write this post. 

All opinions are my own.

When I was contacted by Jamie, and asked if I would be interested in reviewing her products, I was interested. I first heard about Thirty-One two years ago but, to be perfectly honest, I had never owned any of the items. That has now changed. She had me look through her website and was sweet enough to send me a catalog! After looking at all the items, I chose the Free to Be Soft Wallet. I didn't have a wallet that held everything it needed to, so I picked what I thought would work best for me. And I love it. I like the color and pattern choices, and the overall softness of it. My favorite thing is probably the side pocket, which is the perfect size to hold my cell phone. I get tired of carrying it in my hand or having it get lost in my purse.

          

I'm not sure if you are familiar with Thirty-One Gifts but it began as a great opportunity for Christian women to have their own business. Think Proverbs 31. :) I, for one, love bags but Thirty-One offers more than just wallets and purses. Totes, thermals, utility organizers - there are a lot of different options to choose from.

Now for the exciting news!

One reader will receive a Free to Be Soft Wallet - in the pattern of your choice - FREE!! All you have to do is enter the giveaway. There are four ways to enter: 

1. Join Jamie's Corner on Facebook. This is her product Facebook group where you can be privy to specials and other offers.   
       
2. Like the "Where Joy Is" Facebook page.   
        
3. Fill out Jamie's 3-4 question survey, where you can request to join her monthly newsletter, receive a catalog or info about hosting a party or joining her team. 
         
4. Place an order! Jamie is offering 10% off your entire order if it is placed under this giveaway. The 10% off will be taken once your order is submitted.

The giveaway will last until midnight tomorrow, so don't wait too long! Go on and enter for your chance at a great product!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Daughters at Home Interview

Today, I was featured over at A Noble Calling; a blog by Libby, a stay-at-home daughter who has a passion for growing closer to Jesus in her season of singleness. I have been very encouraged by her testimony and was honored to be interviewed for her new series, "Getting to Know Other Daughters at Home."

I definitely encourage you to check out her blog.

To read the interview, head on over to her page or click here!

Dear Grieving Mother

The following post is from an anonymous mother who contacted me and asked me to share her experience grieving the loss of an unborn baby. To any of you women out there who have endured the pain of a miscarriage, let this be an encouragement to you.

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Dear Grieving Mother,

I'm not going to say I know how you feel because I don't.  We're all different, and we all process things differently.  But I do know the pain of loss.  I know the joyful anticipation with which you were waiting for your little bundle of joy.  And I know the devastation and grief that is caused when you experience the loss of that child through miscarriage.  It's painful.  It's horrible.  And at times it's lonely.

While none of the pain of other people's thoughtless words or indifference can compare to the actual loss of that child, the words that people speak after a miscarriage can cause more grief if spoken carelessly.  While few people knew of the miscarriage my husband and I experienced, those that did often said things which were sharp and careless and though definitely not ill-meant, they hurt. 

“At least the baby hadn't been older before the miscarriage or born and then died.” 

“At least you have your other child and you can have another one.” 

“At least you can have children; that's more than some people have.” 

“Something must have been wrong which would have been terrible for the baby to live with.” 

And while all of those statements may have been somewhat true (yes, all of them were actual statements to us), they're not helpful. And it made it so that the grief which we were naturally feeling felt wrong and unnatural. In this day and age, abortion is widely accepted and death is widely embraced, and I believe it makes our culture callous in their responses towards such a loss like a miscarriage.  Torn between wanting to grieve the way I felt was natural and acting like I could rationalize it and pass it off as a non-ordeal, I emailed an older Christian lady who I trusted with my very confused emotions.  I was grieved and hurting, but I didn't feel like anyone thought it was okay for me to grieve.  After emailing this lady, I received this loving response:

“I completely understand how you feel about people's responses to something so big and disappointing in your life. I have noticed the same thing when my daughter had her 2 (possibly 3) miscarriages. People said the most awfully insensitive and even hurtful things to her. Though she has had 4 children, she had wrapped her whole heart around the little ones inside her even though they were only 8-10 weeks old (one was 13 weeks!). To her, they were a baby who was lovingly and joyfully anticipated, then lost and mourned. People do NOT understand the powerful emotional bond that happens the minute you learn you are expecting. Yes, there are reasons the Lord allows the miscarriage, but it still bears the truth that there was a little soul inside you that you and your husband had created together and the Lord knows them fully, even though they never had the chance to fully form and come into the world. Psalm 139:16 tells us that “in Thy book, all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.”  That tells me that the Lord is looking on and KNOWS them and eternally records that little one from the moment of conception as a viable person, a soul that He is eternally interested in.  Why He takes them home before they are fully formed is a mystery to me, but the full forming of their body is in no way a pre-requisite of them being noticed or loved by God...so why is it that way with people? I have never understood the insensitive thoughts people flippantly toss out to ladies who have just lost a baby...regardless of the percent of bodily formation.  I KNOW that is hurtful and that you desire not to judge or react to others, but the questions and hurt still linger in your heart and mind.  The Lord has “wired” a mother that way and it is good that you can still value and feel what is a perfectly natural sentiment about losing a baby. You already know that you will meet that little one in eternity, but it doesn't fill your arms and heart here on earth....you were anticipating holding another heavenly treasure! Somehow, people expect a sort of detached “big girl” viewpoint on the biological mystery of losing a baby in miscarriage, and that has always baffled me that they cannot stop, reflect, and grieve at least somewhat along with the mother who keenly feels the loss....even though she is fully aware that there was probably some reason the baby would have been whole and healthy had it survived the entire pregnancy. Acceptance is not equal to indifference! Indifference does not bolster acceptance.”

After reading this email, it was the first time I really grieved.  I had cried while holding my husband's hand and holding my one year old tight in my arms....but the first time I really wept and mourned for my little baby was when I read that email.  Grieving is natural...and just because your little one was never born into this world, that little one was still your child.  A very special child loved by God.

So dear mother, grieve. There is time to move on, and it is good to still focus on the good and joyous times in your life.  But the grief of a child, no matter the age, is natural.  I only pray that this helps you through this difficult time in your life and is an encouragement to your hurting heart.  You're not alone, and the grief is completely naturally. The grief doesn't immediately stop either.  Months later, I still grieve when I think of the due date that will pass as a date un-noticed. I watch my child play and wonder if there will ever be another little person playing next to my precious little one, whether I'll cuddle another child in my arms. I see other ladies joyfully anticipating their little ones or carry their newborns lovingly around, and I wonder if that will be me again sometime. But with His help, the pain will slowly lessen, though the memories will remain. But His strength will pull us through those hard times....

May God bless your continued journey,

A Fellow Healing Mother

The Degree of Motherhood

My friend, Sarah, shares some wonderful insight on motherhood today. Read and be blessed!

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Before I got married, I went to college and earned a degree.  I'm thankful I earned it and carried through with it as it gave me much knowledge and I even use its practical applications in my life today.  But in the last little bit of my life, I've been earning a totally different degree and a completely different skill set.  You'll laugh when you hear it.  It's called “Motherhood.”  Yes, really.  I fully believe it's a degree, skill, art, and science. I hadn't thought about it that way until my Mom told me this one day in response to one of my interesting adventures with my little boy:

“Motherhood is the art of flexibility with grace, and the science of behavioral studies while majoring in your children and your husband.”

Isn't that just rich?  As soon as I heard that I was scrambling for a pen to write it down.  It's written on a note that is stuck to my fridge so I can read it every day and just remember it – both in the fun and amazing times, and during those not-so-amazing times when life is overwhelming and I simply just want to cry or sleep it away.

Before we had our little boy, I thought I knew exactly how motherhood was going to be like.  I knew how I was going to raise my little boy, and it was just going to be perfect.  Well, it is perfect for our family, but it is NOT at all like how I was expecting.  I have had to be flexible and change my theories to practical implementation. I've had to major in learning my son's...and husband's...personalities.  Their strengths, their weaknesses, how to work with them, how to help them, how to love them.  We are all individuals, and no specific parenting technique is going to work perfectly.  For some people it might be pretty close, for our family – it was not. 

For one example, I had thought I was going to have a very healthy eating child.  Turns out, I have a very picky eater who oftentimes won't eat anything at a meal... I have five foods that I know he will eat...usually.  And of those five, I know that I have to serve the grapes before the strawberries.  Why? Because he likes the strawberries better.  If he knows strawberries are available, he'll avoid the grapes and only eat strawberries.  I could get frustrated and cause us both a lot of heartache by forcing him to eat both when I want him to...or I could give him the grapes and wait for him to eat them, and then give him the strawberries. But it definitely wasn't my vision of putting all the healthy vegetables on his plate and him eating everything with no complaints.

If you knew my husband and I, you might not personally agree with our way of parenting and that's fine! What works for our family won't necessarily work for you.  But that's the point...you have to personally make decisions for your own family... You have to major in your child, your husband, the art of flexibility with grace, and the science of behavioral studies. You have to ask...BEG...God for help and guidance.  But don't be afraid to do something different just because it is unusual and unpopular.  Different is not inherently wrong. Wrong is disobeying God, but parenting will have many different looks.  If you are following Him, what is right for you is not going to work for someone else and vice-a-versa. Different is simply parenting at its finest because no two families are completely alike! And while we all should reach for that degree of Motherhood while raising our families...none of our degrees are going to be exactly the same.

Sarah is a wife to a Coast Guard officer, and a mother to an energetic 1-year-old little boy. She strives to serve her Lord and King, and a good wife and mother.  She loves photography, reading, cooking, exploring, and hiking and has a passion for purity as well as learning about healthy living and eating. Most often you will find her thoroughly enjoying time with her husband and son or making messes in the kitchen.

Not My Will, But Yours

Today I am thrilled about this beautiful post, written by one of my dearest friends. I am so encouraged by her life and her passion for living for Christ. Today, she encourages us to trust the Lord's will for our lives.

Not my will, but Yours. Ever find yourself saying those words? I've said them often, fully believing I was ready for it. But...in the last 2.5 years I've learned a LOT about what it really means. You see, I'm the type that wants to plan for everything. Before the last 2.5 years I had everything planned out exactly. If you wanted to do something with me, then you needed to contact me at least a week...probably two...in advance. Not because I was terribly busy...I just wanted everything planned out. I did not handle ambiguity well at all, and spontaneity – it was just a word in a dictionary to me as I did not partake in it at all.

The end of 2011 was the beginning of the end of that, however! I was being courted by a guy who was my best friend. Shortly after Christmas, my Dad said yes. I knew it, because Dad had handed Ben one word written on a 3x5 card: “Yes.” (I still have that card!) I had it in my head that Ben would THEN go by a ring and ask me in 3 months...when he came back from the Coast Guard Academy for Spring Break. But the next morning after Ben was given permission, my Mom was acting strangely before Ben and I went to the top of a mountain top for the day. “Sarah, don't you want to take a shower before you go? Sarah, don't you want to put on a nicer pair of pants? Sarah, I'll do your hair for you!” On the top of the mountain, Ben proposed and I said yes. Several times. But it set off a chain of events that is forever changing my life. In the next month we moved our wedding from 12 months away, to 5 months away. I worried that I couldn't get everything done. Everything went smoothly, thanks to my Mom and some awesome friends who helped and it was one of the best days of my lives. After the wedding, I thought everything was going to go back to neatly planned out and perfectly organized. But it was not my will, my plans, or my perfect organized life that I would meet shortly thereafter. It was His.

It started out with my surprise pregnancy. I was thrilled, but totally unprepared. I got pregnant on our honeymoon. We wanted kids fairly soon...but we were thinking more down the road of having this happen like a year after marriage. Cue the thoughts of panic, excitement, worry, and joy. For the next 9 months we lived in a whirl of excitement getting ready for our baby...but that wasn't all! My husband is a Coast Guard officer. The Coast Guard motto is “Always Ready Always Prepared” and I got an excellent dose of that real quick. A bag lived by our bedroom door pretty much always packed in case Ben got called away or went on a semi-scheduled patrol. When he left, I never knew for sure how long it was going to be. A day? 3 days? A week? Two weeks? A month? If we wanted to do something on the times where he was home, it was always spontaneous because we had no real plan or schedule. We had the times when he was home...and when he wasn't. The first year, I called my mom in tears many times because I didn't have a plan. Because I didn't know what was going to happen. I wasn't trusting God with what was going on, and at times I was completely miserable.

Since then we've had many things happen that I have had to learn how to let go of and let God handle. Planned and unplanned Coast Guard patrols. Moves and transfers from one coast to the other. Pregnancies, birth and miscarriage – all the hopes, joys, and sorrow that envelope those. Job schedules, and the life of being a wife and a mother. So little of it can I plan...I just have to trust God that He will work His will and it will be right for us. I still like to plan. I get downright giddy if I can plan something in advance and it actually happens! And lack of planning still stresses me out at times. But with His help, I'm learning to relax, go with the flow, and even enjoy spontaneity. And I've learned some of what it truly means that it is not my will, but God's will. He is the Author of all....and I need to let go and let Him have the pen in my life. It's easy to say the words, but it's another to live it. But as we live it, I truly believe that He grants us a peace and joy that we don't have otherwise. It's a hard lesson to learn, but it's 100% worth it.

“A man's heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 (NKJV)

Sarah is a wife to a Coast Guard officer, and a mother to an energetic 1-year-old little boy. She strives to serve her Lord and King, and be a good wife and mother. She loves photography, reading, cooking, exploring, and hiking and has a passion for purity as well as learning about healthy living and eating. Most often you will find her thoroughly enjoying time with her husband and son or making messes in the kitchen.

When Marriage Becomes an Idol

Marriage is wonderful. Like most girls growing up, I dreamed about love and living happily ever after. Now that I am married, I often look back to my single years and, while I rejoice in the faithfulness of the Lord and the beauty of a pure past, I can see several pitfalls I wish I would have avoided. I pray you can benefit and learn from my season of singleness....
   

Today I am honored to be a guest post for Megan in her new series, Singleness Saturdays. Continue reading over at He Will Be Faithful.

Sneak Peek: $500 Cloth Diaper Giveaway Starts Saturday!

Would you like to win a LIFETIME SUPPLY of cloth diapers?!

The Go Green ♥ Give Charity Cloth Diaper Giveaway Event sponsored by Booty Buns Cloth Diapers starts this Saturday, March 24th!

Over 175 blogs are coming together to present this fantastic fluffy giveaway hosted by Daily Mothering. Mark your calendar because you don't want to miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to win an entire stash of one-size cloth diapers!

ONE WINNER will receive a gigantic cloth diaper prize pack valued at $546!

And, the winner will get to select their choice of diaper colors!

This amazing prize pack will include:

20 Booty Buns One-Size Cloth Diapers

(these true one-size cloth diapers fit 3-45 lbs!)

20 matching flannel/terry cloth wipes

40 microfiber inserts

20 cotton flannel liners

Visit The Modest Mom for more info! Sneak Peek: $500 Cloth Diaper Giveaway Starts Saturday!