Be Only Women

“To me, a lady is not frilly, flouncy, flippant, frivolous and fluff-brained, but she is gentle. She is gracious. She is godly and she is giving… You and I, if we are women, have the gift of femininity. Very often it is obscured, just as the image of God is obscured in all of us… The more womanly we are, the more manly men will be, and the more God is glorified. As I say to you women, ‘Be women. Be only women. Be real women in obedience to God.’”

- Elisabeth Elliot          

Is It Ever Okay to be Immodest?

Modesty.

What comes to mind when you think of that word? Floor-length dresses? Turtle necks? Long sleeves? Some simply think that as long as their private areas are covered, then they are exuding modesty. And some believe that modesty only matters when they are around a certain group of people. You know like boys....or those who seem creepy...or the Pastor.

That brings me to ask this question, is it ever okay to be immodest?

This past Memorial Day, I put my 3 1/2 month old baby girl in a cute little patriotic bikini. I have to admit, she looked quite adorable. I mean, who doesn't love baby pudge and baby rolls all over the place? Several days later, a friend gently brought it up to me and asked "When do you begin to teach modesty??"     Woah! Light bulb.

To be honest, I had reservations about that bikini in the beginning. I don't wear bikinis. And I won't allow my daughters to wear bikinis or any swim suit that exposes too much skin. But I thought, "Well goodness, she's just a baby!" and went on with it. It doesn't really matter when they are that young, right?

So when does immodesty become unacceptable? When they become a teenager? At puberty? At age five?

Or does training in modesty begin from birth?

I'm new at this. I have always thought about modesty when I'm the one choosing what to wear. But now I am a mother. To a little girl. And now I am faced with a completely new spectrum of this whole cover-up-and-be-modest thing. I am having to shine a light into the corners and closets of my life and examine, not just my choices, but the reasons behind the choices I will make in training my little girl. How can I teach her to be modest if I compromise in infancy but stand solid when she is a tween? I could simply say, "I'm the Mom and this is how it is." But that's not training. That's bullying.

The Bible says to "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) If we, as parents and leaders of our home, begin NOW in training up our children in the way they ought to go, then the Word of God gives us the promise that our work will not be in vain. If we raise our little girls - our baby girls! - to know and love modesty and what it means, then we will surely reap a harvest of blessings in the future. They will understand more of purity and holiness and I am quite certain that the Godly mothers of young men will thank us as well.

It's hard stuff, this training up of little people. I know down the road I will have my share of exasperation...and stupid mistakes. But I do not want to be too lazy to diligently guard my children from worldliness. And I have to begin now. I'm sure when she's old enough, my little girl will ask why. She will mostly likely get angry. But training and loving and showing her the beauty of our God and of representing His name in our dress will be worth it in the end.

When You Want to Quit Motherhood

I am going to be brutally honest with you. Sometimes I want to quit motherhood.

Sometimes the dirty diapers, the midnight feedings, the endless laundry, the selfish toddler, the overtired baby - sometimes it gets to me. And I want to quit. Sometimes all I really want is a bubble bath. And polish on my toes. And quiet.

Ever felt like that?

When my sweet Selah was born, I brought her home with a gleam in my eye. I had a 22 month old son and, now, a precious little girl! Could life be any better? Nathan was a complete joy as a newborn; very easy and very mellow. Then came my feisty little girl whose name means "pause; rest; peace" and she shook things up! For the first two months, I experienced near-constant crying. We saw three doctors and got three different "reasons" for her crying. I was at my wits end. I thought I was going to go crazy. Literally. I put on a brave face, but deep down I didn't want to do it any more. Motherhood, that is. I wanted to quit.

I don't know if you have ever experienced anything like that. My heart goes out to those parents who endure 'round-the-clock screaming. I knew I did not have much left inside me. I also knew that I needed to run to Jesus. And I did. While pacing the floors, nursing around the clock, and trying to keep my eyes open, I prayed. I prayed for my baby. I prayed for my little boy who was a real trooper while mommy had to care for his new sister. I prayed for my husband who had to come home every day to dirty laundry, a dirty kitchen, and crying - from me and the baby! And I prayed for me. A lot.

Motherhood is hard. When you are expecting your little one, you think of baby cuddles and baby clothes and baby cooing. You don't think of colic or nursing problems or going days on end without a shower or sleep. And honestly, nothing can prepare you for motherhood. It's a learn-as-you-go kind of thing. And it's hard. It is a messy, gruelling, bring-you-to-your-knees kind of work. And that's the best part.

When I was at the end of my rope, I had nothing but Jesus. And it was then that 2 Corinthians 12:9 became "my verse" yet again. "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." The word "infirmities," I discovered, means - get this mothers! - feebleness (of body or mind); frailty; weakness.  Oh what comforting truth!

His strength is given to us in our weakness. Because of this, we can say "I glory in my feebleness and my frailty as a mother!"

We can take delight in this because the Word of God says that when we want to quit, His grace - His strength - can rest upon us.

where JOY is

I am at a new place in my life that calls me higher. It demands more. And my "more" is the title of this blog - where JOY is. Satan is the destroyer of joy. He steals our reason to do as David did and sing songs of praise, even in the midst of emotional hurt or physical pain. If he cannot have our souls, then he will try to devour our happiness and push us lower and lower into a pitiful mess of gloom. But I say, as David did, restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation!

Looking around at what we have become, even in the Church, I am burdened for myself and my fellow sisters. We have lost our joy!

Single women have no joy in waiting on the Lord's timing for romance.

Married women have no joy in serving and loving their husbands.

Mothers have no joy in investing their lives in raising and discipling their children.

Homemakers have no joy in keeping their home and making it a sanctuary for their family.

Believe me, even in the middle of long days, exhausting nights, and seasons of waiting patiently impatiently for God to move, there is joy. Though I am struggling with you, because the Bible tells us so, I KNOW we have plenty of reasons to sing, dance, shout, and rejoice in who God created us to be. And I choose joy.

Be patient with me as I continue to move things over and get this blog in line. But expect regular posts very soon and I encourage you to join me as the Lord teaches us both how to be full-to-the-brim of His joy and how to offer that joy to the lost world in need.

When God Decides to Stretch You

photo credit

I have not posted in over a month. And there is a good reason for that. We have moved! That's right. And any of you that has ever moved before can attest to the exhaustion and overwhelming emotions that come with packing up a home and leaving. While in the process of packing and leaving, I have also had a great deal of time in the still hours of the night, while feeding my baby, to think and meditate on all the things God uses in life to strengthen our spiritual muscles. To be honest, I have been ashamed of myself at how quickly and easily out of shape my spiritual life can become.

The day we came home from the hospital, our newest little bundle of joy in our arms, an offer was made on our home.

The.day.we.came.home.

My husband and I have prayed about building a home for nearly two years. Our little mobile house had become home for us, but we both wanted a more secure place out in the country. We want our kids to live like we grew up - playing outside with the nearest blacktop a couple of miles away. After praying, we decided to put our little place up for sale. If it sold, we would begin building. If not, we would stay put until God moved us. Apparently, after having a "for sale" sign in our yard for over a year, the day had come.

I should have been thrilled when, after being home less than an hour, we learned our house had sold. Instead I felt a panic. God! I screamed in my head. We just got home! I'm exhausted. I have a new baby AND a toddler. And now I'm supposed to pack up and say goodbye to this cozy little place in a little over one month?!? I don't have it in me, Lord. It's not fair! Why?!?!

STRETCH.

We began looking at where we would stay while our house was being built. We wanted to save as much as possible but we also wanted to be in a place convenient for my husband's job, our Church, and to allow us time as a family. In an answer to prayer, we were invited to stay with my husband's family for the few months it would take to build our home.

STRETCH

Now I will say that I am immensely blessed to have wonderful in-laws who have taken me in as their own. They are such a blessing to me. But in my mind, though I was grateful, all I could think about was my home....my "space"....my routine....my privacy....my comfort.

(See a pattern?)

I knew it wouldn't be easy moving into someone else's home. It wasn't going to be a piece of cake in trying to settle myself and my kids in a spot that wasn't "ours." Nothing was going to be simple and comfortable. It was going to take adjusting. It was going to stretch me. No doubt, there would be days when my human nature was going to want to snap.

STRETCH

Have you had a season in your life where you were comfortable? You know what I mean. You and the Lord are walking along, enjoying the smell of the roses. No heavy rain, just sunshine. No fork in the road, just a straight path that goes neither uphill nor downhill.

It's good. It's easy. It's comfortable.

And sometimes, that is okay! Psalm 23 is an all-too-familiar passage that gives us a picture of comfort. Our Shepherd is leading us through green pastures and still waters. No rough waves to topple us or barren deserts to leave us dry. He is restoring and blessing. There are seasons when the Lord fills our cup with beauty, and moments where our hearts and our minds are at ease. But all too easily, Satan can steal those moments and make it all about our own comfort instead of basking in the sweetness of His presence. It becomes more about us and how much we want to stay walking pleasantly along our simple, easy path. God intends it for rejuvenation and intimacy. Satan uses it to breed selfishness. Then when the Lord leads us to an ascent that calls for muscle, stamina, and grit, we moan and complain and have a pity party.

....or maybe that's just me.

Since moving in with my in-laws, I have been reminded of the wonderful grace of God. It seems as though I have been learning lessons on His grace for months now. The transition for me and my children has been unbelievably easy and peaceful and I have been reminded of my shortcomings once again. I was afraid, but why fear when I am ever accompanied by His presence? I was comfortable, but why sink into the muck of ease when there is an opportunity to grow and see the strength of God at work? 

Though my flesh prefers the comfortable path, may my spirit ever live to be stretched (and stretched often!) to remind me of the bigger picture; of the higher purpose; and that in being stretched, I can see the power of Jesus in my life.

Psalm 23:6
"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life..."

Are You Tired, Mom?

I am writing this post as a sleep deprived mother.

I have a toddler that wants my attention and a newborn that demands my attention. I have a husband who deserves my attention and a home that, um, needs my attention as of late. I have numerous projects and ministry endeavors on the table too.

I'm exhausted.

photo credit

In the last five weeks, I have experienced the usual - feedings every two hours (or less!), an endless array of diapers, baby baths, infant spit up, and crying. A lot of crying. Sometimes more like wailing.

Long days and short nights.

Oh, I'm tired....Any of you mothers relate? :)

Every season in life brings its own bundle of lessons. This season I am learning a big one:  Joy

I am tired. Really tired. But I want to display joy. That's not easy when sometimes often I just want to have a big meltdown and run away. When my 23 month old throws a tantrum - again - I don't want to snap and lose my head. When I hear the unmistakable noise of a newborn waking when I'm almost asleep, I do not want to get angry. When my husband comes home after a hard day, I don't want to be impatient or selfish. I want to be joyful; gentle; thankful.

I can't do it alone. That much is for certain. But I CAN do it with the help of Christ

Psalms 28:7 says, "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him."

I have grown to love that verse over the last few weeks.

In the midnight hours where my body is screaming for rest, I can take comfort that the Lord is my resting place. In the moments when all I want is a peaceful, quiet hour, I can be thankful that I have little ones to disrupt the silence. I can rejoice that although life is sometimes crazy and hard, it is a wonderful gift from God.

His Word says I can do all things through His strength. He says that His grace and His strength in made perfect in my weakness. That's a beautiful promise! In feeding, nurturing, training, and loving my kids, His power is mine if I claim it. In loving, serving, and helping my husband, His abilities are mine if I allow Him to work through me. In caring for and managing my home, His joy is offered to me.

That's a good Word, isn't it?

Am I tired? Oh yes. But I cannot find a better reason to be tired, can you?

Increasing Your Milk Supply

photo credit

A few days ago I mentioned in a post that I could not nurse my first child like I wanted to. So, this time around I made it a point to do all I could to be able to nurse my baby girl. With my first, I assumed I would be able to nurse easily but I learned quick that it is a learned process. It's not an effortless art to everyone. So this time, I set my mind to it, I prayed, and then I turned to the God-given foods and herbs within arm's reach to help me out.

There are lots of things people say to do. For example:

• Nurse often. In the first few weeks especially, your baby will need to suck often. As hard as it is on your body (and your sanity!), you need to let them nurse as much as they want. Why? The more your little one nurses, the more milk you will produce. From one who is less than four weeks in, I will tell you that the days are long and the nights are hard. Sometimes you may feel like all you do is feed your baby, but it will pass. ---and I say this to encourage myself too.
     
• Eat and eat healthy. Breastfeeding moms need an extra 500 calories on top of the 1800-2000 calories they operate on a day. It's been said that if your body is making milk, it is the equivalent of running a marathon! So...we need sustenance. If you're hungry, EAT. And though you can indulge in a milkshake and Dove chocolate, it's important to eat as healthy as possible. Whatever you eat, baby eats.
     
• Pump. Invest in a good pump. Preferably a double electric pump. If you pump after your baby nurses, it will send messages telling your body to produce more. Plus, as you make more milk, you will be able to store it which will allow others to feed your baby and give you a break. Double win. :)
     

If you're like me when I had my first, those three things may not be enough. So here are a few more ways to boost your milk supply.

• Mother's Milk Tea by Traditional Medicinals is something I purchased right before my baby girl was born. It is a sweet and spicy, slightly bitter-tasting tea that is full of herbs like fennel and coriander.  Personally, I'm not fond of the taste and so I add honey and lemon to it. But it's worth it and it may be tasty to you.
    
• As I posted the other day, Lactation cookies are a delicious way to boost your milk supply. Courtesy of Pinterest, and tasty as all get out, these cookies are AH-MAZE-ING.
    
• If you read my post on pregnancy supplements, you will remember my singing the praises of Red Raspberry Leaves. Along with providing relief for women who have painful or heavy periods, and strengthening the uterus and prepping the body for childbirth, Red Raspberry Leaves also aid in milk supply.
       
• Fenugreek capsules is something I tried after my first was born but I think I was too far gone by that time and I gave up. This time, I began taking Fenugreek immediately after my baby girl was born and slowly increased the dosage. Many women claim to see a significant increase in their milk production in the first 24-72 hours!

There is much more you can look into and try. Oatmeal, Blessed Thistle, Alfalfa, papaya, Flax, water, spinach, carrots, Hummus, apricots - there are lots of foods and herbal supplements available that will help us, lactating mothers, produce more! Happy lactating! :)