What to Expect From 50 Shades of Grey

It's 3 A.M. and I just fed my little one and laid that sweet little bundle of cuteness back in her bed. As a mother of three young children, I should be reveling in the sweet sleep that isn't offered to me that often. Instead, however, I'm here with a heavy heart.

This Friday history will be made as millions will flock to the cinemas to see the most sexually explicit R-rated film to date. Waving the banner of romance, this counterfeit love story will beat its way into the hearts and minds of women and men all over the country. It doesn't surprise me much that millions will see this movie. The Word tells us that in the last days there will be a huge moral decline. What does bother me are the scores of professed Christian women not only eager to watch this film, but who are defending it with a passion. A passion that scares me. That is why this wife and mommy is up at 3 A.M.

I can't stop anyone from reading these books or seeing the movie. I can give plenty of reasons why it should be avoided at all costs but, in the end, we all make our own choices. But let me tell you what you should expect if you do decide to stroll into the theater with your popcorn and soda.

1. Expect your marriage to be affected. Many women have defended 50 Shades by saying that their sex life with their husband has become more exciting as a result of reading this series. Tell me, at what point in your Christian walk did it become acceptable to indulge in pornogrphy in order to make your love life more exhilarating? Quite honestly, my sex life with my husband is satisfying enough without the aid of provocative books, magazines, or movies. Maybe after viewing this movie you will come home eager to jump into the arms of your husband but. let me be frank, it's no different than your husband viewing pornography in order to get his engine running before he jumps into your arms. Same thing, just a different vehicle. The sinful relationship between an unmarried couple should not be the example a Christian married couple follows. If you soak up 50 Shades, sister, you can expect a change in your marriage. It may very well begin with a bedroom romp, but as is the time-tested result of pornography, soon it won't be enough. Slowly, but most assuredly, you will tear down your marriage brick by brick.
   
   Hebrews 13:4
   Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
                   
2. Expect your walk with Christ to be infected. Somehow, in all the comments I have read from professing women of the faith, I have seen a defiant defense of this series instead of a sobering and passionate call to purity and honor. Have we lost all respect and thankfulness for our Savior that we would spit in His blood like this? Have we no shame at all in being entertained by the very evil that He died to set us free from? If you open your heart and welcome Christian Grey in, expect Christ to be far from you. We can either choose the lust and bondage of Mr. Grey, or we can choose the love, the purity, and the freedom in Christ. We can't have it both ways. That's just a fact.
   
   Matthew 6:24
   No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

My heart has trembled and my eyes have cried sitting and watching my sisters handcuffed to this series. I'm raising my children in a world where evil isn't lurking in the dark alleyways anymore, but paraded down the Church aisle. But y'all...

I love my daughters too much to allow them to be taught that the relationship between Christian and Ana is a healthy, loving relationship; that bondage, humiliation, degradation, and punishment are ingredients in a love story. I want them to revel in the freedom of truth and be able to walk confidently in the knowledge that Jesus is the picture of what love really is.

I love my son too much not to shield him from a world that will tell him that porn is normal and healthy. I don't want him indoctrinated by Hollywood, I want him instructed in righteousness. I love my children enough to introduce them, not to E.L. James, but to the Author of real love. And, God help me, I'm going to fight garbage like this for the sake of my children's purity until my dying day.

I love my husband too much to allow myself to be swept off my emotional feet by a fictional character. Frankly, as a young woman married five years with three children, I am plenty satisfied in my marital bed. I don't need a supplement that my enemy can use to plant seeds of discontentment in my heart. I have too much respect for my God-fearing, hard working, adoring husband to even begin to compare him with a sadist who has no concept of real love, commitment and sacrifice.

Finally, I love my God too much to disobey Him. If He says to steer clear of the things that drive a wedge between us, then I have to obey. There is no part of me that wants to shove His grace into the sewer and gobble up poison. I love Him enough to believe that He will bless the ones who walk in His ways, and judge what is wicked.

To those of you on the front lines of purity and righteousness, I'm wielding my sword with you. It's the casualties of this war that has me up at 3 A.M. but, nevertheless, it is a comfort to know that when it's all said and done, we win the battle. That's a mighty good thing we can expect.

So You Don't Want to Wait for Marriage

Last summer, a woman wrote a blog post about how she remained a virgin until marriage and how much she wished she hadn't.

She wrote about how she signed her name to the True Love Waits pledge at 10 years of age, how she wore her "virginity badge" with honor all throughout her teen years. Then on her wedding night, instead of joyously experiencing the beauty of God's way, she felt dirty and awkward. She hated being intimate with her husband, underwent therapy, and finally shucked religion altogether.

Suffice it to say, the post went viral. Reading it, my heart broke. There's no telling how many read that blog and decided that purity wasn't worth saving.

So you don't want to wait for marriage? May I give you another side of the story that is far different from the one above? You see I, too, signed my name to the TLW pledge at an early age. I, too, remained a virgin all throughout my teenage years and into my early twenties. I, too, was pure on my wedding night. So let me be honest and give you some good advice, from someone who's also been there, done that.

Many make the mistake of assuming that virginity and purity are the same thing when, in truth, there is a difference between the two. Virginity is something we have and give away once, preferably to our spouse on our wedding night as commanded by God. It's priceless and we can never get it back. Purity, however, goes deeper. Purity is a not simply something, it's a lifestyle of shunning sin and embracing what is holy and beautiful. The young woman who wrote that blog had a misconception of the two and I believe the Church is partially responsible.

The Church has failed its young people by making marital intimacy appear boring and unexciting. Instead of seeing Christian couples in the Church madly in love and enjoying all the blessings of sex inside of marriage, they see most of them battling pornography addictions, having affairs, or undergoing painful divorces. For the most part, young people grow up either believing their elders are outright lying to them OR they grow up being indoctrinated that sex is dirty and shameful. And as a result, they either reject the notion of marriage altogether, or they carry that into their marriage and end up feeling impure once they hand over their virginity to their spouse. The problem isn't that they remained a virgin, the problem is the fuel behind their choice and the misconception of what purity truly is. If you make the choice to remain a virgin until your wedding night, assuming that's all there is to purity, you are going to be disappointed and you will likely wind up with just as much angst as the girl who wrote that blog. Purity is not merely something you "have." Purity is a way of life that can only be lived through the blood and the power of Jesus Christ. If you want a heavenly marriage, you will live in purity. You will carry it with you always, not leave it on the bed on your wedding night. It will go with you as you fold laundry, buy groceries, and pay your bills. It will walk with you into the sanctuary at your Church and into the bedroom with your husband.

Was my wedding night awkward? Not really, no.

Did I feel dirty and ashamed? Not once.

Did I grow to dread intimacy with my spouse after that? Not at all (my three kids likely prove that, eh? ;)

I made the same choices as that young woman did. The difference between us both, however, is the reasons behind the choices I made. I didn't stay a virgin because it was expected of me or because everybody else was signing cards pledging to do it too. I didn't stay a virgin because the Church pounded the notion into my head, threatening me with hell fire if I gave it away before the wedding vows. I made the choices I did because saving physical intimacy is a command of God and based on a principle of God's Kingdom. In Matthew 7:6, Jesus told His disciples, "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine." 

I trusted that the Lord would be faithful to me. And He was.

Countless young people read that blog post and fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. No doubt many decided to forgo sexual purity and hand over their virginity simply because it's their body and their choice. But to that young woman and all the others in the same boat, I say this: Of all the things of great value in your life, one of the most precious is your sexuality. It's meant to be a holy and set-apart place of our being and reserved for only one to have access. It's not about rules and regulations, it's about God granting us a little brush with heaven. When God sets the stage for marital intimacy, it will never ever lose its beauty.

Resolutions for a Momma

Happy (belated) New Year!

Currently, my hands are very full. I have a three and a half year old, an almost-two year old, and a four week old that demand my attention and my care 24/7. My heart is much more full than my hands ever could be, but my work load is, nevertheless, far from light. Entering a new year with a brand new baby, I thought long and hard about my resolutions for 2015. To be honest, it got overwhelming. My list of things I'd like to do is long. But the more I tried to make resolutions like "I will write more Thank You notes this year" and "I will finally organize that closet I keep avoiding," the Lord slowly redirected my thoughts.

I haven't blogged much at all lately and my book I have been working on for over a year is nowhere near complete. But instead of letting that make me feel like a failure and that my potential is being wasted away, I resolve to read one more book to my little boy and use the writing time I get - be it very little - to do my best. (Col. 3:17)

My hair stays in virtually one style and I'm spending these rare "me" moments writing this blog post instead of working to firm up these flabby abs. But instead of choosing to let that make me feel unattractive, I resolve to smile and put on Jesus Christ; letting Him be my beauty. (Col. 3:12-17)

In the wee morning hours while feeding my baby, I've spent more time playing on my phone than praying and meditating on God's Word. Instead of allowing myself to be caught up in distractions, I resolve to take my thoughts captive and delight in the law of the Lord. (Psalm 1:2)

I'm ashamed to say I've been ushering my kids upstairs to get them out of my hair lately. Instead of letting laziness be my boss, I resolve to play more board games, put together more puzzles, and to reach the heart of my children in 2015. (Prov. 31:28)

My nails are chipped, my laundry is endless, my kids need a bath, and I'd love to sit down with tea and book (and quiet that doesn't mean my little girl is writing on the walls again!). But instead of feeling overwhelmed, my resolution is to live joyfully. There will always messes to clean, meals to bake, events to attend, and dates to remember. There will always be a list of things to do and groceries to buy. There will always be people I will disappoint and expectations I will not meet. But no more guilt! To echo Jonathan Edwards, my resolution for 2015 is to live with all my might while I do live.

Micah 6:8
"...and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?"

May 2015 bring us close to the feet of Jesus and may our cup be full-to-the-brim of His joy!

Birth Story of Lily Eden

Things have been quite....busy (to say the least!). We welcomed our third child, our precious little girl, on December 11, 2014. Once home, I decided to take every available moment to rest and recuperate and get ready for Christmas. Now that things have settled down a bit, I would like to introduce to you, our sweet little Lily Eden.

Everything about this little one is beautiful. For me, personally, she is the perfect picture of God's grace. We didn't "plan" her. In all honesty, we wanted to wait a few years before having more children. I was scared of having more after the last one. But God, being Omniscient, knew that we needed this little girl; my "little bit of Eden" as I call her.

I was blessed with another healthy pregnancy and we were counting down the days until her due date. On December 10, at an OB appointment, my doctor and I discussed induction. I was a few days late and was experiencing a lot of pain due to Lily cuddling into my ribcage and stretching against my backbone and pelvis. Ouch. I had been dilated to 2-3 for three weeks and my cervix was extremely thin. So after weighing all the options, we decided we would go for an induction. Quite honestly, I as horrified. My birth plan did not, in any way, include induction. It did not include an epidural after having had one with my first and hating it. My plan was to go into labor - on my own - and labor naturally. As was seemingly the "theme" of Lily's pregnancy, my plans were not God's plans. :)

So on the morning of December 11, my husband and I checked into the hospital and we began pitocin shortly after 11:00 a.m.

Things began wonderfully. I immediately began to dilate and contractions were very bearable. I spent time reading, listening to music and singing, and visiting with our pastor, his wife, and my family. Around 1:30, things began to get intense and hard. Having read up on induction, I assumed I was going to be laboring all day and into the night. So, cringing, I asked for an epidural at 2:45 p.m.

One hour later, at 3:51 p.m. I saw my little girl and heard her strong cry for the first time. Once I got the epidural I, again, assumed it would be hours and hours before it was time to deliver. But it was no time at all before I felt my body try to push. I had just enough medicine to ease the pain without losing all feeling whatsoever. Four pushes brought Lily into the world and I was finally able to do something I hadn't ever been able to do with my other babies - hold them immediately. Lying there with a warm, wet, bright-eyed little girl against my skin, gripping my finger and looking up at me with her beautiful eyes took my breath away. And I kept thinking, "This is grace...this is a little bit of heaven...of Eden." :) Weighing 6 lbs, 12 ounces and 20 1/4 inches long, she was - by far - our greatest Christmas gift!

My recovery this time around has been fantastic. Lily is two weeks old and sleeping fabulously and I am feeling - almost! - like 100% again. Thank you for your prayers and all the well-wishes via Facebook. I feel so blessed reading all the encouragement and seeing all the love. I leave you with some pictures of our family of FIVE now!

first moments. can it get any more beautiful than this?

Lily Eden

our little Christmas blessing

big brother is BEYOND proud of Lily and big sister is a
"little momma"to baby "sis-soo"

Grant and I celebrated our fifth Christmas together this year.
Five years, three precious children. The Lord is so good. 

Christmas Countdown Ideas for Kids

The holidays are here! In just a few days, we will celebrate Thanksgiving and then the Christmas countdown will begin! Now that I am a wife and mommy, I have began building traditions with my own little family and I dearly love making memories with my husband and my kids. Today I'd love to share with you the Christmas countdown activities for this year. We won't necessarily do them in this exact order, but the goal is do them all and have fun making memories that will last for years to come. So here we go!

1. Read the Christmas story

2. Unwrap new Christmas PJs and a new Christmas book/movie 

3. Have hot coco and cookies

4. Open your special ornament to put on the tree 

 5. Mail Christmas cards 

6. Shop for one special gift for a family member 

7. Make a Christmas CRAFT with Mom 

8. Have a family Christmas movie night - with treats!

9. Polar Express night! (Look at Christmas lights in PJs, with hot chocolate) Link to ticket here

10. Decorate Christmas cookies

11. Gather old toys to donate to charity

12. GRINCH night! (Grinch punch, Grinch cookies, and Grinch popcorn!)

 13. See Santa at the Mall

14. Go on a hunt for Mistletoe

15. Make Christmas pancakes (with cookie cutters and sprinkles!)

 16. Go to a Christmas play or party 

17. Take a Christmas bubble bath!

 18. Make a Gingerbread Nativity

 19. Have a living room Christmas dance party!

 20. Color Christmas printable pages

 21. play a board game together as a family!

22. Have a picnic by the Christmas tree

23. Make Candy Cane syrup!

24. Sing Christmas carols together

25. Have a birthday party for Jesus!

Click here for the free printable!

What about you? What are some traditions and fun activities you do each year with your family?

37 Weeks and Third Trimester Favorites

I am 37 weeks which means I am officially full term! According to my doctor, baby is head down and I'm already starting to dilate, so it's possible that we'll have ourselves a little November baby!

Here's the latest:

• I'm very uncomfortable and very tired. I definitely feel like I am carrying around 20 extra lbs...which I am. :)
       
• My appetite is becoming nonexistent, which usually happens when I'm "done." I haven't had extreme cravings this pregnancy, but the cravings I have had have been similar to Selah's. I've wanted lots of fruits and sweets, especially McIntosh apples, peanut butter and chocolate. I think maybe the weirdest combo I have wanted was an apple, a slice of red velvet cake...with a taco.
      
• No swelling. No varicose veins. So cystic acne. But plenty indigestion and headaches.
     
• I became anemic during this pregnancy so I've been taking Iron supplements and have tried to add lots more spinach into my diet as well. The results have been great. I'm still tired, but I don't hit a brick wall every single day at 1 p.m. I have a little more energy and clarity of mind. Along with Iron, I've been taking the Garden of Life Oceans Mom prenatal vitamin, B-Complex, Calcium, and a low dose of Red Raspberry Leaves. I have felt significantly better this pregnancy than the last because of it.
     
• I'm already starting to dilate, so hopefully it will continue to progress and not stall. :)
       
• Baby is measuring well and weighs somewhere around 6 lbs. So anxious to meet the little petite angel that will soon be here!

It's unreal how fast pregnancy goes by, and yet how ridiculously slow it is too. :) There are lots of discomforts that come with growing a life, especially when that little bundle grows into a good size bundle that prefers to sit directly over your bladder or cuddle into your rib cage. The third trimester is the hardest trimester for me but I'm thankful that there are things that provide relief. Here are some favorites of mine that have helped me in these final weeks.


doTERRA Deep Blue Rub This stuff has helped me tremendously! With my second pregnancy, I experienced some intense pain in my hips and this time has been even more painful. doTERRA Deep Blue Rub almost instantly soothes the aches and pains. It's worth the price.

Peace & Calming Essential Oil has helped with difficulty sleeping. Usually by your third trimester (sometimes before!) you begin having trouble getting comfortable. Then the closer you get to delivery, your mind starts to go crazy and it's hard to calm down and truly rest. I've used Lavender EO for years and it's great, but Peace & Calming blend just calms me quicker and I usually sleep lots better when I use it.

Epsom Salts I love this stuff. I soak in a bath with about 1/4 - 1/2 cup of Epsom salt every chance I get and I always feel wonderful after!

Comforting books This pregnancy I read Redeeming Childbirth by Angie Tolpin several times and it is definitely a book I highly recommend, especially while pregnant. I was encouraged and challenged on so many levels. Along with Redeeming Childbirth, I also read Set-Apart Motherhood by Leslie Ludy which gave me an extra "oomph" as I disciple and train my kiddos.

Pregnancy and Labor playlist I shared a small list of songs earlier in my pregnancy that spoke to me. Since then, I've added more and have claimed a few for the birth of this little one. The ones I have seemingly kept on replay have been:
          Jesus, Draw Me Ever Nearer - Keith and Kristyn Getty
          Be Still My Soul/What a Friend - Selah         
          Jesus Paid it All - Aaron Keys
          Part the Waters/I Need Thee Every Hour - Selah
          Here - Kari Jobe
          All the Way My Savoir Leads Me - Various (Classic Songs from the Hymnal)

Not much longer now!

10 Gift Ideas for Men Under $50

The holidays are right around the corner! Have you begun your Christmas shopping? With baby #3 due in a couple of weeks, I have been slowly buying up gifts for the past few months so I won't be completely overwhelmed when little bit gets here.

Many women confess that they struggle finding gifts for the men in their life. By far, my husband, is the most difficult person to buy for. Last year, I shared a list of 10 Gift Ideas for Women Under $50. Today, I'm sharing a manly version! So here are 10 Gift Ideas for the manly man in your life.


1. 16-Ounce Insulated Travel Thermos. I actually bought this for Grant last year and he loved it. In the winter months, it kept his coffee hot for a good 5 hours. $20.00 + shipping.

2. Beard Pack - If your man sports facial hair, this will make a fun gift that he may just actually use! $39.95 + shipping

3. MagnoGrip Wristband. This doesn't seem very cool, but it has received great reviews. If your guy likes tinkering with tools or doing DYI projects, this is sure to come in handy. $6.28 + shipping

4. Books. Is your guy a reader? Check out Why Revival Tarries by Leonard Ravenhill, No Compromise by Melody Green, or The Bravehearted Gospel by Eric Ludy. These books are some that will ignite the spiritual fire in any man.

5. Gun Soap. Need a stocking-stuffer idea? These gun-shaped soap bars should be a hit for any man proud of his right to keep and bear arms. :) $6.00 + shipping.

6. SmartTouch Gloves. I want a women's pair of these gloves! If you own a touchscreen phone, you know it can get irritating in the wintertime when you can't do anything on your own unless you remove your gloves. Then your hands are left freezing. No more! These gloves are awesome and range from $20 to over $100! This pair is only $17.70 + shipping and the reviews are good.

7. All-In-One Emergency Safe Hammer. This gadget is pretty neat. It can be used as a standard flashlight, but it is also a rescue tool. It works as a hammer, a LED flashlight, cell phone charger, has an emergency blade, and several other things. For only $18.99, I may get one for myself!

8. Monogrammed Forged Steak Brand. My man's favorite food is steak. This authentic miniature version of the cattle brand used for years will bring a fun touch to your meat. :) $39.99 + shipping.

9. Sermons on CD. I have given my husband several sermon series on CD and it's always a great gift for the guy always on the go. He can listen and be encouraged on his drive to and from work or on business trips or even vacation. I have fond memories of my Dad playing sermons in the car on long drives and Grant and I have enjoyed it on our trips together as well. Some good sources for sermon downloads or purchases are: SermonIndex.com or Love Worth Finding Ministries.

10. Saddleback Leather is an awesome place to buy macho-leather gifts for your man. Most of their merchandise is very expensive, but there are a few options that are $50 and under. Wallets, belts, iPad and iPhone sleeves, Bible covers, are just a few. And you can count on very good quality!

What about you? Do you have any great gift ideas for men? :)